Maintenance Query

greenybaby

Just looking for some opinions on this


My daughter is 8 and a half years old and not once has her father contributed towards her (not even for her communion yet he landed down with an opinion of himself) and I want to know where i stand regards actually getting maintenance off him.

Reason I have not seeked legal advice before is because i was told the fact he was up north i could not carry over court orders, is this true

Do not think i have not asked for it, i have on manys an occasion but he laughs in my face, he sees her when he feels like it, max twice a year and that's it. So it's not like i have stopped access at any point.

Should i waste my money going to legal bodies or just sit back and carry on like i have done since she was born :mad:

Any help is appreciated

blueythebear

greenybaby wrote: »

Just looking for some opinions on this


My daughter is 8 and a half years old and not once has her father contributed towards her (not even for her communion yet he landed down with an opinion of himself) and I want to know where i stand regards actually getting maintenance off him.

Reason I have not seeked legal advice before is because i was told the fact he was up north i could not carry over court orders, is this true

Do not think i have not asked for it, i have on manys an occasion but he laughs in my face, he sees her when he feels like it, max twice a year and that's it. So it's not like i have stopped access at any point.

Should i waste my money going to legal bodies or just sit back and carry on like i have done since she was born :mad:

Any help is appreciated

You can seek to enforce maintenance against him and the order will be recognised in the North as far as I am aware. You would need to go to the legal aid board or get a solicitor to confirm.

If he wishes to see his child, you could consider preventing access to the child. However, be aware that this will most likely escalate matters and will probably result in there not being a hope of any amicable resolution between you both. That said, it would appear from the tenor of your post that that ship has already sailed.

greenybaby

blueythebear wrote: »

You can seek to enforce maintenance against him and the order will be recognised in the North as far as I am aware. You would need to go to the legal aid board or get a solicitor to confirm.

If he wishes to see his child, you could consider preventing access to the child. However, be aware that this will most likely escalate matters and will probably result in there not being a hope of any amicable resolution between you both. That said, it would appear from the tenor of your post that that ship has already sailed.

I would never deny access as a child has every right to see their parents regardless of the situation in the background, if she chooses when she is older that she does not want to see him then that is her decision, i think it is petty to deny access to get one up on a person, it also shows who the bigger person is


see another thing with him is there are other court orders for him up north (not child related)and he ignored them so why would he bother with a southern order

blueythebear

greenybaby wrote: »

I would never deny access as a child has every right to see their parents regardless of the situation in the background, if she chooses when she is older that she does not want to see him then that is her decision, i think it is petty to deny access to get one up on a person, it also shows who the bigger person is


see another thing with him is there are other court orders for him up north (not child related)and he ignored them so why would he bother with a southern order

I'd like to stress that I'm not suggesting denying access to get one up on him. It would be an incentive for him to pay maintenance and for him to engage with the courts as he would have to seek an access order if he wished to see the child. The maintenance issue could then be hashed out in court too.

If he ignores court orders in the south, he can be arrested and imprisoned when he comes to see the child. I would have thought that this would focus his mind. It is a little distasteful but you either want him to face up to his responsibilities or you'd prefer things to remain as they are.

greenybaby

Oh i know you are not suggesting it, there are always options out there but i am just saying it would not be a route i go down.

He rarely crosses the border, last time was 2 weeks ago for her communion and last august but before that it has been years since he came down here, when he wants to see her i have to drive to belfast and drop her off then straight home again, nice 4 hour round trip for me with no petrol expenses catered for and then again a week later, i know people will say i am stupid to do such things but i need/deserve a break once in a blue moon and that is the only way i get one for a few days :mad:

GarIT

greenybaby wrote: »

So it's not like i have stopped access at any point.

Why haven't you? If you're looking for maintenance thats the first thing you should do. If he tries to bring you to court you just say you're only doing it because he is not paying maintenance. Then if you don't challenge it it's nearly definite that he will be allowed see the child on the condition that he starts paying.

greenybaby

GarIT wrote: »

Why haven't you? If you're looking for maintenance thats the first thing you should do. If he tries to bring you to court you just say you're only doing it because he is not paying maintenance. Then if you don't challenge it it's nearly definite that he will be allowed see the child on the condition that he starts paying.

To be honest I don't think he would do anything about it and as said before the child has every right to see him, he will never bring me to court as he is wanted as it is, unless he came down south to do it but can't see that happening.

blueythebear

greenybaby wrote: »

Oh i know you are not suggesting it, there are always options out there but i am just saying it would not be a route i go down.

He rarely crosses the border, last time was 2 weeks ago for her communion and last august but before that it has been years since he came down here, when he wants to see her i have to drive to belfast and drop her off then straight home again, nice 4 hour round trip for me with no petrol expenses catered for and then again a week later, i know people will say i am stupid to do such things but i need/deserve a break once in a blue moon and that is the only way i get one for a few days :mad:

I don't think your issue is a legal one in that case. The problem is more the relationship you have with the father of your child. You're facilitating this carry on with your actions.

greenybaby

the fact that he refuses to pay maintenance is not a legal matter

We get on grand just this money matter is pi**ing me off the longer it goes on, all i want to know is if i can cross the border with the courts and if i can then i shall personally hand a court order so he cannot deny one was given and if he ignores it i shall just try and coax him over the border and have him lifted if the worst comes to the worst that's all i can do i suppose

maybe i am wrong

blueythebear

greenybaby wrote: »

the fact that he refuses to pay maintenance is not a legal matter

We get on grand just this money matter is pi**ing me off the longer it goes on, all i want to know is if i can cross the border with the courts and if i can then i shall personally hand a court order so he cannot deny one was given and if he ignores it i shall just try and coax him over the border and have him lifted if the worst comes to the worst that's all i can do i suppose

maybe i am wrong

If you want to resolve the situation, you will have to act on it is all I'm saying. The above query has already been answered. It is up to you if you wish to get a maintenance order against him and seek to have it enforced. I would contact the Legal Aid Board to get advice as to how to go about this.

greenybaby

yeah will contact them in a few mins i think, the fact of the matter is i have been too soft but time to harden up

Thanks for your input

greenybaby

ok gave them a buzz there and they are sending out an application, she said they can certainly try to get maintenance off him up north but if he does not comply then it will be a difficult battle because of his location