Worried may have got girl pregnant

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm out of my mind with worry the last few days that I may have got the girl I was with pregnant.
We had difficulty getting the condom on, so instead she suggested I just "pull out". I stupidly agreed.
However, I didn't actually ejaculate at any stage, nor had I ejaculated in a few days.
When I asked her in the morning if she thought we were "OK" she said we were. I then tried to text her later in the day to ask her again, but it turns out that she either gave me the wrong number or I took it down incorrectly.
I have no real way of getting in contact with her as I'm not 100% sure of where she lives, and I had never met her before.
I feel like such a fool for putting myself in this position. I will get tested for STDs after 3 months but I'm more worried about the pregnancy issue.
I've been doing some reading on the chances of pregnancy and it seems although there is some chance, it may be reasonably low.
Not sure what assistance I'm looking for here, but I have no one else to speak to about this.

Otis Driftwood

When there is any contact between an un-condomed penis and a vagina there is always a chance of pregnancy however it is remote.

In future take your time putting the condom on and always have a spare just in case anything happens the first one.

Taltos

I would be less worried about pregnancy and more worried about an STI or HIV.

Maybe instead of freaking out about an unknown pregnancy you should get yourself off to a clinic.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Taltos wrote: »

I would be less worried about pregnancy and more worried about an STI or HIV.

Maybe instead of freaking out about an unknown pregnancy you should get yourself off to a clinic.

Well that's just plain stupid. Chances of him catching HIV are beyond remote. Blatant scaremongering

Warts, chlamydia etc sure they are genuine risks, though personally something I'd rather have than a crisis pregnancy with a one night stand.

Also given he mentioned STIs in the OP I have to wonder what your motivation is.

Regarding pregnancy, I'm sure its fine. She probably knows her cycle and may even have been on the pill. I know the feeling though, best to just block it from your mind and carry on with life.

this site is for general reading should worst come to worst

http://www.positiveoptions.ie/men/

prinz

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Warts, chlamydia etc sure they are genuine risks, though personally something I'd rather have than a crisis pregnancy with a one night standAlso given he mentioned STIs in the OP I have to wonder what your motivation is.

Perhaps it could serve as a warning for the OP not to make any more 'stupid agreements' before he gets tested.

It's kinda scary how many people think the "pull out" method is a proper form of contraception.

Bottle_of_Smoke

prinz wrote: »

Perhaps it could serve as a warning for the OP not to make any more 'stupid agreements' before he gets tested.

Many people don't get tested for STIs because they're terrified of taking a HIV test. I've seen posts here of people asking if its possible to get one done without a HIV test. Despite the fact the vast majority of them are at virtually no risk of HIV. Its posts like Taltos's that cause this mass hysteria about HIV

prinz

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Despite the fact the vast majority of them are at virtually no risk of HIV. Its posts like Taltos's that cause this mass hysteria about HIV

While our HIV rate isn't huge, I don't see the harm in highlighting it as an issue and getting tested. Better to be aware and thinking about something like HIV/AIDS (amongst others) and not get it, than extremely lax about it, convince yourself you are at virtually no risk and then contract it IMO.

Taltos

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Many people don't get tested for STIs because they're terrified of taking a HIV test. I've seen posts here of people asking if its possible to get one done without a HIV test. Despite the fact the vast majority of them are at virtually no risk of HIV. Its posts like Taltos's that cause this mass hysteria about HIV

I am OK with folk thinking I am scaremongering. Yes the rates in Ireland are very low. The risk therefore is very low. But at 0.3% (2009) that means that 3 in every 1000 people you sleep with could be infected. Maybe many of us don't sleep with that number of people - but at the end of the day those 3 might well be the last 3 in the thousand you sleep with or worst case the first three.

Folk that shy away from the fact of HIV are at best a danger to others.

So I am a scare mongerer - I am perfectly OK with that.

OP - I still stand over my initial reply. Waiting for a tap on the shoulder about a pregnancy is scary - and right now you have no control over that. One thing you do have absolute control over though is making sure that for your next partner you do not bring any unknown guests to the bed.

Kidchameleon

You could perhaps contact her on Facebook?

fghijkl

Regarding pregnancy, I'm sure its fine. She probably knows her cycle and may even have been on the pill

Umm....if she was on the pill surely she would have just said "i'm on the pill" rather than "suggesting he just "pull out", I'd have serious doubts about any woman who thought or used "pulling out" as a method of contraception, if she's this lax about her sexual health/contraception i'd seriously doubt she could be bothered about or pays any attention to where abouts she is in her cycle tbh. While the risks of pregnancy are definitely lowered obviously if the OP didn't cum stranger things have happened, i know if i was a guy i'd be searching facebook now to see if i could find her and ask her if she was actually on the pill.... other than that not much you can do OP i'm afraid.

actually just saw this line

I'm out of my mind with worry the last few days

It's probably too late for her to get the morning after pill now anyway OP.

Have to say she sounds very very lax about her sexual health in any case so i'd be more than a little worried about catching something from her OP tbh. Get yourself checked out.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Taltos wrote: »

I am OK with folk thinking I am scaremongering. Yes the rates in Ireland are very low. The risk therefore is very low. But at 3% (2009) that means that 3 in every 100 people you sleep with could be infected. Maybe many of us don't sleep with that number of people - but at the end of the day those 3 might well be the last 3 in the hundred you sleep with or worst case the first three.

That's not true. Its 3% in djiboute/chad. 0.2% here in 2007. if it jumped that much by 2009 I think we'd have heard more about it.

Also the statistic is skewed. If you took out immigrants and men who have sex with men it would be far lower.

Even still I think your scaremongering is counter productive. People avoid getting checked because of the scaremongering.

as for the rest. The op stated he will be getting himself checked anyway. That made the sti/hiv stuff off topic. I'm not going to say anymore on it other than I think you should look at the reality of the disease before overhyping the its risk

IrishEyes19

But this isnt a thread about STI's, in fact the OP actually highlighted that he will get tested when he can, but right now his issue is pregnancy!!!!!!

OP, do you know the girl's name and could you find her on facebook perhaps, if this is really bothering you.

Bottle_of_Smoke

fghijkl wrote: »

Umm....if she was on the pill surely she would have just said "i'm on the pill" rather than "suggesting he just "pull out", I'd have serious doubts about any woman who thought or used "pulling out" as a method of contraception, if she's this lax about her sexual health/contraception i'd seriously doubt she could be bothered about or pays any attention to where abouts she is in her cycle tbh. While the risks of pregnancy are definitely lowered obviously if the OP didn't cum stranger things have happened, i know if i was a guy i'd be searching facebook now to see if i could find her and ask her if she was actually on the pill.... other than that not much you can do OP i'm afraid.

actually just saw this line

It's probably too late for her to get the morning after pill now anyway OP.

Have to say she sounds very very lax about her sexual health in any case so i'd be more than a little worried about catching something from her OP tbh. Get yourself checked out.

Possibly true but I've known girls who will go without protection on certain days of the month

Whilst the pull out approach is extremely risky it is not confined to the most reckless. Ask any doctor - its not a minority of people.

LegacyUser

OP here again, thanks for all the replies.

I haven't time at the moment to answer each one individually but just a few responses. Firstly, I didn't get the impression that she was on the pill or was aware of her cycle etc. When I asked her in the morning, she made reference to the fact that I didn't cum/ejaculate so I don't think there was any other contraceptives in mind.
Thinking back over it, I also get the impression this wasn't her first time trying this method, which again is worrying from an STI point of view. I certainly have never tried it and never will again.
I am concerned about STIs too, but from my readings once I get tested, most are treatable so at the moment I am a little less concerned. I take people's points though about the importance to get tested, I certainly will after the 90 days.

Also, I don't think she's the "type" to be on Facebook, I live in a big city abroad and have had a look alright on it, but she was older than me, in her early forties, and I'd have my doubts if she's on it, just by her personality more than anything. (I said girl originally as I am still embarrassed about the whole episode)

I guess there's not much more I can do now. I guess I'm just hopeful that the chances of her being pregnant are remote and that's the hope I'll cling on to.

Thanks for reading