Ex-self harmer, better ways to cope with stress?

LegacyUser

I'm about to turn 18 and I had a fairly bad problem with self harm in 2nd and 3rd year, not to the extent I was hospitalized or anyone else found out, but it was nearly every day and I still have scars. I had stopped with only one relapse last year, but to be honest 2 years after I stopped I feel like I'm still dealing with it. I am really bad at coping with stress from social situations, not even big things but like small faux pas' and just doing stupid stuff and it would just fill up my whole body and be all I could think about until I could channel it into cutting myself. It was like bloodletting. In the last few weeks, I can feel myself slipping into old patterns, I'm trying to stem it by snapping the metal part of hair elastics against my wrist to stop myself going near blades again. How do you escape self harm? How do I manage to deal with just basic anxiety without doing myself damage?

Otis Driftwood

Speaking from experience,I think you are over the worst of it.

I myself self harmed for most of my teenage years up until my early 20s and I still have the scars however when I started in college,got out of the rut I felt I was in and started meeting new people and experiencing new things,the urge to do it subsided and at 32 I havnt done it in probably over 10 years.

What I found helped when I would get the urge,and thats what it was,I tried to do something stress relieving to alleviate the desire.My own personal favourite thing was going to the gym and pummeling a punch bag for 10 or 15 minutes.

It helped get rid of the anger I was feeling (which looking back I now know was depression) and it helped clear my head so it may be an idea for you to try.

What I would say is do what ever it takes to stay away from the blade and if you have someone you can talk to then do.I look back on my own experiences with a twinge of sadness because I didnt know what I was feeling then and so did not know how to handle it.

There is always another option.

Look after yourself and stay strong.

ppink

Do you exercise? It is a great release.

Sleepy

snap band? rubber band around your wrist that you snap when you get the urge to harm?

LegacyUser

From personal experience too... Did it for a couple of years in my early twenties, never did again until recently (over 10 years passed by). It's usually related to feelings of being powerless in a situation, at least for me.

Might not be the best ways to cope, but now when I feel that urge, I either break something silly and harmless (pencil, throw a can on the floor etc), take a sleeping pill or paint like crazy, all colours, brushes, everywhere, something that reminds me of what is angering/hurting me.

I guess my main motivation to find a way of avoiding it is how bad the damn scars look, how they never ever go away and how people spot it easily.

If it wasn't for that, I'd probably still do it... sigh

Best of luck.

Novella

If you feel the need to self-harm, give yourself 15 minutes. Just sit down and breathe and think of reasons not to do it - how frustrating it is always having to wear long sleeves etc. - and remind yourself how well you are doing not self-harming. Mostly I find that when I give myself time to calm down, and when I have removed myself from whatever is causing me anxiety, I don't really feel like cutting at all anymore.