Woe is Me

LegacyUser

Not entirely sure what advice I could get out of this; perhaps nothing or perhaps the best advice I could possibly get. I don't know, but I thought that maybe if I got the words out, it would make me feel somewhat better. This is going to be somewhat a long post.

I met this girl in January, well by met I mean we started chatting, but didn't actually meet face-to-face until February. Around March we eventually became girlfriend and boyfriend and this was incredible, until what I can only describe as "Hell Week" sometime around May. I suffer from reactive depression (so my counselor tells me) and I was going through a tough time because of college work and because of other issues, and this all came to a head one evening when she was there. She broke up with me the next day. I can understand it - I probably would have done the exact same thing in her position. But earlier in the day, I marched into the GP, where I subsequently broke down and was prescribed anti-depressants, which I've been taking for about a month now. I have a tendency to suffer from pretty bad anxiety - sometimes it doesn't get brought on by anything and just happens, so the anti-depressants are hopefully to help me deal with these better, until I get myself in a better place in my life.

During our courting and brief relationship, we fell for each other pretty hard - there was always such amazing chemistry and we were a great couple. Yet there were some issues for both of us - she had just come out of a long term relationship with a person who was basically emotionally devoid and never did anything nice for her, then she ends up with me - a guy who is the complete polar opposite in every way possible.

Since we've broken up, we have more or less been in constant communication and have seen each other. I know that she still has extremely strong feelings for me, as she has told me herself, but she says that she doesn't want a relationship right now. This confuses me somewhat, but I know there's nothing I can do at this present moment in time, so I'm trying not to let it get to me.

Recently she has moved home for the Summer and is in the process of organizing one that is filled with travels abroad, before she returns to college. I, however, am finished college and will need to start planning out my future in the coming weeks/months, so I'm not entirely sure how long I'm going to be around for. However, a part of me genuinely feels that I'm not ready to leave just yet and that I'm not ready to launch into a career - though I'm turning 26 in the coming weeks.

I know there are issues on her side too - she doesn't want to get hurt again, because she was very badly hurt on her last relationship, and she probably doesn't want to get involved in anything where I might end up leaving (though I don't know if that's what I want to do just yet), I also think she doesn't want to have somebody to miss while she is off travelling for the summer.

I could move on - not sounding vain, but I've been told that I'm an attractive guy with a great personality, but I just don't want that. I want her, though I know right now I can't have her.

Logically none of it makes sense to me, which is also why I'm struggling with it somewhat. So, woe is me indeed.

Miss Fluff

What's your issue OP? Seems like you're getting stuff off your chest but what's the actual PI here?

LegacyUser

That I'm going through a bit of a tough time with this, that maybe I could hear people's perspectives and help me try and understand what is going on. I don't know.

Mighty_Mouse

Work on getting yourself well would be my advice - and don't be adding a relationship into the mix until you are more sorted.

What she said ^^