is there any gay men looking for more

gagonmine

just putting it out there, is there gay men that want more then just to sleep around, I sometimes feel like i'm the only one that wants more. i.e a relationship

TylerIE

gagonmine wrote: »

just putting it out there, is there gay men that want more then just to sleep around, I sometimes feel like i'm the only one that wants more. i.e a relationship

Theres a lot.... and many of them feel exactly like you do.

Theres also some who did want more, only began to feel that nobody else, so caved into a "if you cant beat them join them" mentality - but yet really would prefer a stable relationship.

If your current circles (esp clubs and online scene) lead you to believe its only one-nighters, then look at other options - social groups, tamer online sites, sporting groups or charitable work.

Manion

I was just thinking about this the other day. The single most common reaction to coming out we get from loved ones these days is "are you sure, it's a hard life". And they don't mean in terms of homophobia, they mean in terms of loneliness and despair. I don't know a single other gay couple. I know dozens of gay men who stumble from one disastrous relationship to the next and I honestly don't understand why. Some of these guys would desperately love to be in a stable relationship, but can't make it work.

Personally, I don't think it's possible to have a grown up relationship until you start accepting yourself and what you are. Some gay men are simply looking for the wrong things from a relationship and treat it as a place to hid and something to make up for other short comings.

Its all a little sad.

Annasopra

gagonmine wrote: »

just putting it out there, is there gay men that want more then just to sleep around, I sometimes feel like i'm the only one that wants more. i.e a relationship

Yes there are loads

cuffesis

I could tell you that there's loads but you need to meet them to believe it for yourself. Be warned though - Some people lie! Not that everyone does and granted I'm a girl but my ex told me she wanted a relationship but was only ever wanting to get her bit it would seem

ixoy

Of course there are and there are solid gay relationships too. I know gay couples together for decades. My bf and I are together for nearly six years. We might all have thought like you did once but now we realise there are other like-minded guys out there and yeah, as clichéd as it may be, you can find someone.

Conor30

lst wrote: »

Theres a lot.... and many of them feel exactly like you do.

Theres also some who did want more, only began to feel that nobody else, so caved into a "if you cant beat them join them" mentality - but yet really would prefer a stable relationship.

That's an astute observation and I agree.

I, myself, would like a relationship too but they don't seem very forthcoming.
I remember a Canadian guy living here mentioning to me before that he thinks Irish gay guys are less relationship-oriented than North American ones. Maybe gay culture is less developed in Ireland and, let's face it, less accepted. Despite all the headway made, there is still some way to go in Ireland.

Maybe Irish society isn't the reason though. Maybe it's just Irish guys themselves. I find that most Irish gay guys are shy/reluctant to even admit they're looking for a relationship. It's kind of 'uncool' or something. In contrast, Oriental guys are very often looking for a relationship and will blatantly state so in classified ads etc! The cultural difference is striking!

ninty9er

You can easily come across people who seem like they're not interested in more, when the reality is they are not in a space where they are ready for more.

Interested and ready are two different things, at least that's what gives me hope:p

easychair

gagonmine wrote: »

just putting it out there, is there gay men that want more then just to sleep around, I sometimes feel like i'm the only one that wants more. i.e a relationship

The answer is of course. IN dublin, according to a metaanalysis of Kinsey, there are between 4-17% of adults who describe themselves as primarily same sex attracted. Out of a population of adults of over 1 million in the Dublin region, thats between 40 000 to 170 000 adults who claim to be same sex attracted, divided equally between male and females.

Presumably if you are only looking for 1 out of those sorts of numbers, then it's a matter of strategy, and how to find someone compatible.

Thats a matter for you to decide for yourself. If it were me, I'd mroe or less rule out the club/pub scene as its not conducive to finding anyone other than someone who is drunk or high for a one night stand.

I'm increasingly impressed by the number of couples I find who met on dating sites on the net, and increasingly impressed how many couples meet on sites such as gaydar. While you can ry to use gaydar for casual sex, it seems if you can screen well and don't over chat there, its can be quite a good site for meerting a partner. I'm going to a "hitching" on June of friends who met there, adn I know 3 other couples who also met there. Screen well though!

normaldude

Yes easy gaydar can be good for meeting guys for more than sex, I meet my bf there about 5 years ago and its slowly developed over that time, neither of us are into the scene so it was our best way to find guys.

I find the scene is full of the same guys every week i guess scene queens, they thend to be very groupie, and they all watch the others, kinda of a closed shop, so I would have thought this would be a factor in why more gay relationships dont blossom - there all a bit too obsessed with the others..............

Graeme The Poet

Not saying the boards should become a dating site - per say..However most people posting in this topic and in similar ones are:

A. On this Island
B. Gifted with at least a modicum of intelligence due to the nature of the discussion

It's an easy thing to drop a member a message and get some craic going.

Just a thought

Graeme

easychair

are you saying you are intending to do that yourself, or are you suggesting that we should do it?

Graeme The Poet

Probably both m8

easychair

you sound doubtful. Are you english? It's unusual to be called "m8" outside london.

Graeme The Poet

Ha ha ha I'm from the North...I'm just a victim of the text speak generation . In answer to the question, I suppose I'm a bit unsure as I'm new to the forum and not quite sure of how the land lies yet. Most forums have their own way of doing things I suppose so I don't know if people are open to the idea.

I'll roll the dice and shout out to a few people once I get a decent profile together describing the anomaly that is me!!

gagonmine

maybe we should start a lonely hearts section or a dating section on the Boards lol

Graeme The Poet

In all seriousness why not - would anyone else be interested?

Aard

Well, for starters it's against the charter here.

rainbow kirby

Graeme The Poet wrote: »

In all seriousness why not - would anyone else be interested?

Personals are against the charter in this forum.

easychair

A lonely hearts section, which has been suggested, doesn't have to be in the form of personals. In any case, if you've ever read a personal ad it is more likely to put you off with their GSOH and so on. The only personals which I'd find effective are ones which poke fun at the writer and reader. Did anyone else laugh at the "Millionaire successful Hollywood businessman seeks gulliable stunner" mock ad by, I think, Jimmy Carr ?