Was he just being polite

pocketvenus

Ok I am looking for other opinions here to give to my sister.

Basically she was out last week and met a guy in a bar. They got talking, as much as they could in a loud bar and ended up kissing. Anyway she said they seemed to click and even though it was late when he approached her ( about 12pm & she was a starting to fade at that point) she though she gave a good impression. They ended up kissing so she must have. Just before she got a taxi home he asked for her number, she gave it and he asked her to look at it to check. She is almost 99% sure it was correct in his phone and she asked him to text on his number straight away as she left her phone at home.

So they parted ways and low and behold it is a week and no contact. As she does not give her number out easily and the rare time she has the guy has always contacted her, she is to say both annoyed and a little bit blue over it as she got the impression he was a decent guy and I feel she would like to get to know him. He lives a good bit away from her but still.
Only thing is her best friend has a friend who knows this guy so she does have a way of contacting him I suppose.

I told her look there is nothing she can do but to put it out of her mind and that if he was just playing a game he is a guy she would want to get involved with but also there could be a genunie reason he has not texted/ called yet.
What bothers her more is why take the nummber if is he was not interested.

So any other opinion on this would be helpful. Should she just forget him or be a 21st century girl and get his number, drop a text to say hi and then at least if he ignores that she will know.

Faith

She should leave it alone. If he'd given her his number, then that would be one thing, but hunting it down via friends is a bit weird. Unfortunately, it happens all too often that guys seem super interested in you, they take your number, and you never hear from them again. It's annoying, but you just have to let it go.

I am a friend

He has her number so I would leave it....

It could be for any number of reasons including the possibility that he is in a relationship.

Firetrap

A thing that jumps out at me is the 2am thing. The time when it dawns on people who went out on the pull that perhaps tonight's not going to be their lucky night. So they start trawling the bar/nightclub they've been in, searching for anything that they might be able to bring home with them. Your sister was drunk, tired and probably only heard every fifth word that this bloke said. Perhaps I'm being cynical here but I think she's being naive if she thinks she made a good impression on him and that it was the start of something. I'm not saying that that's always the case but I've been in enough bars at 2am to know what the story usually is. To me, it sounds like this guy was hoping to go home with your sister and the number bit was a red herring.

fghijkl

Wow hope this doesn't sound harsh OP but your sister is either very young and immature or is only very recently single i'd bet. From the way you've written about how she felt about this guy that "he seemed like a decent guy" and "she though she gave a good impression. They ended up kissing so she must have" "decent guy and I feel she would like to get to know him. He lives a good bit away from her but still." ...it sounds like she was expecting him to be boyfriend material or something??

She was in a bar and scored some guy at 2am.....
He was almost certainly just looking for a shift/shag.

Sorry, while i'm all for making first contact with a guy if he gives you his number....for the love of god don't get his number from a friend! She'll just come across as really really odd, if she's this cut up/analytical over the first guy who rejected her, believe me she'll feel 100 times worse if she gets his number and he doesn't reply! Rejection happens to everyone, sometimes you just have to accept it for what it is - Rejection - and move on i'm afraid!:(

If she doesn't give out her number very often then she's probably just been lucky up till now tbh...Guys take girls numbers all the time and never call/text them for a myriad of reasons thus is the pub/club scene unfortunately, you get used to it eventually, it soon becomes water off a ducks back....

King of Kings

if she really liked him then she should go try and contact him.
Finding somebody special isn't as easy as just giving out your number and having him ring - sometimes a little chasing or work is required.
If he sees she is keen he may be more interested - for all you know she could have given the impression she wasn't too keen.

But on the other hand if she is only looking to justify herself in giving her number then don't bother.

It depends how "into him" she is.

King of Kings

King of Kings wrote: »

if she really liked him then she should go try and contact him.
Finding somebody special .

Sorry but 2am drunken encounter in a club is not "someone special".
People give and take numbers at clubs all the time and nothing comes of it - time for OP's sister to move on

King of Kings

bluewolf wrote: »

Sorry but 2am drunken encounter in a club is not "someone special".
People give and take numbers at clubs all the time and nothing comes of it - time for OP's sister to move on

you weren't there so you don't really know. I have met somebody special on an all day drinking binge (which was a stag)

although I agree on the give / take number thing - it's too casual to read into it.

But if she is into him then she may need to do some legwork -that's all my point was.
If she isn't and it's just a hurt ego from him not calling then forget it. It's not rocket science.

S23

King of Kings wrote: »

you weren't there so you don't really know

None of us were there so none of us really know.

People are asked to give advice and they do so on the 'law of averages' with these things or whatever you want to call it. There is no point in speculating as to whether it was magical or not. As you said none of us were there. So chances are if it was 2am it was you're fairly standard drunken kiss and give us your phone number.

If she doesn't give out her number very often then she's probably just been lucky up till now tbh...Guys take girls numbers all the time and never call/text them for a myriad of reasons thus is the pub/club scene unfortunately, you get used to it eventually, it soon becomes water off a ducks back...

That's it summed up for me. She must be young or have a notion that any lad who gets her number absolutely has to be genuinely into her. Or maybe both. Handing out your number to random strangers at 2am isn't exactly a bulletproof way of meeting a nice guy/girl.

Chalk it down to experience and move on

amdublin

He has her number.

If he was interested he would contact her.

Tell her to let it go.

pocketvenus

Thanks for backing up my first opinion.

She is young enough 22 & is a year out of a 4 relationship. I said look it was what it was & that after that if he calls he does if not plenty more fish in the sea. Apparently I am the meant to be the older wiser sister who has all the answers!!!!!

jameshealy19

If you have a mutual contact, find out if he is single.

If you can get his number do.
Tell your sister to ring him.

I seriously doubt that he'll be rude.
If he's not into her he'll made some excuse that he can meet up, which is fine.
Its better than your sister staying in constant limbo.

Just do it.

LegacyUser

If he's not into her he'll made some excuse that he can meet up, which is fine.
Its better than your sister staying in constant limbo

He has her number and hasn't called or texted her in a week.
They have mutual friends, on the very very slight chance he might have lost his phone or something, which i highly highly doubt, if he really liked her he could get her number again through these friends. He hasn't. He's not into her!!!

She's not in limbo, Short of a neon sign i don't know what more proof she needs tbh.

If she's after a boyfriend OP then i don't think putting all her hopes on men she meets in pubs is a good idea (yes sometimes it happens but only on very rare occasions). Maybe she could try online dating instead? Or you could introduce her to some of your or your friends single friends or something?

IrishEyes19

Hey OP, tell your sister not to be upset by it, thats the deal with bar and club scenes, its very easy to make new friends on the night and be all confident and into it, but when the morning rears its head, sometimes our impressions are different, its nothing to do with who you are as a person or rejection, its all learning experience and just go out and have a good time, dont be worrying about those who dont text, who would want someone like that anyway. best of luck:)

coco_lola

jameshealy19 wrote: »

If you have a mutual contact, find out if he is single.

If you can get his number do.
Tell your sister to ring him.

I seriously doubt that he'll be rude.
If he's not into her he'll made some excuse that he can meet up, which is fine.
Its better than your sister staying in constant limbo.

Just do it.

No No No. Don't tell your sister to do this. She will make a fool out of herself and seem very desperate. She gave him her number, told him to call her. If he wanted to call/text, he would have. If he really wants to see her again, he'd find a way, through that mutual friend of yours or something. Trust me, if a man wants to see a woman, he'll make the effort. Tell her to take it for what it was, a 2am drunken kiss in a club.

Fittle

Since when do 21st century girls think that a bloke who takes your number after a 2am drunken snog, and who doesn't text in a week, is worthy of a text to say 'hi' Did I miss that memo

Tell your sister to forget him OP. He's not gonna ring or text.

As an aside, the amount of recent threads on here from women lamenting the fact that random men haven't rung/texted them in X number of minutes/hours/days is beginning to scare me.......

Wompa1

Fittle wrote: »

Since when do 21st century girls think that a bloke who takes your number after a 2am drunken snog, and who doesn't text in a week, is worthy of a text to say 'hi' Did I miss that memo

Tell your sister to forget him OP. He's not gonna ring or text.

As an aside, the amount of recent threads on here from women lamenting the fact that random men haven't rung/texted them in X number of minutes/hours/days is beginning to scare me.......

Good guys are hard to find I guess!

Fittle

Wompa1 wrote: »

Good guys are hard to find I guess!

Or us women are more reliant on them than I had ever imagined....whatever happened to girl-power!

Mc Kenzie

ok i know everyones saying not to text and i understand why.

if he was interested he wouldof got in touch one way or another.:)

however i know myself it can be annoying, but as fhijkl said you get yousta it...trustme:rolleyes:

but for your own peace of mind say to yourself , ill text and if he dousnt text back ,,at least youll know for sure hes not interested.

if he likes her at all he wont think shes a loony or desperate for texting and if he does...well so what, at least you tried

Look after number one , and your own feelings, is my advise:)

gargleblaster

Fittle wrote: »

Or us women are more reliant on them than I had ever imagined....whatever happened to girl-power!

I'm not sure that hoping for contact is the same thing as relying on them, really. The loneliness or (seemingly almost desperate) hope is kinda sad, but I'm damn glad it's just that and not actual reliance. Reliance on men you hardly know would be downright alarming for sure.

My advice to the OP is to leave it. If he's that interested he'll find a way to get in touch.