Disillusioned and need advice

LegacyUser

Male here 19/20. I am very unhappy with my life at the moment, for a number of reasons. I have often had problems with my weight, and now it is under control, all that remains is me properly 'toning' up to get that elusive look that I have wanted for so long. But I find myself losing motivation too readily, sometimes going to the gym only once or twice a week, often eating the wrong foods, essentially lacking dicipline. When I see pictures of myself, I automatically dismiss them if there is even the slightest indication of carrying weight in them. I hated being overweight, and now that I am not, the next step is toning up, but I can't seem to remember what prompted me to finally lose the weight the last time. It could have been a girl, who I had a long standing interest in, to get her to take more notice, which she did.

My social circle is extremely narrow. I used to be quite popular and would easily integrate with all groups, one of those people. But now, I only have one best friend, and I would struggle to call many others actual friends. Indeed, he is one of about 3 whom I would keep in contact with regularly.

I would like a proper girlfriend as I have never had one. Just to see what it is like even. I know that I am fairly good looking (not being vein), but I can never seem to 'get in there'. I've only ever been kissed twice, both of which were in the past 6 months. I'd presume what previously held me back was my weight, the fact that I never went to a teenage disco, and the fact that I went to an all boys school. At the moment there is a very pretty girl who I would like to know better, but she is extremely popular. I think that there is some kind of chemistry there, despite the fact we have barely spoken. I could be wrong, but I would like some advice on what I could do. I work in a large place, and one of my friends in work tells me that a lot of the girls in there think I pull off the whole brooding handsome guy quite well.

I think maybe I have been shallow in the past with regards to the female company I keep (friends wise). And while I will never like a girl on just personality ( there has to be attraction there first, or else its like a sister ), I think I need some good friends who are girls.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, I think I have some gambling issues. I don't wish to give it up completely, if only because it is seen as a recreational, fun thing by many people I know, but I need some way to do it in moderation, if only to see whether my only option is to completely stop. I spend too much time in the bookies, too much money, money that could go on nights out or clothes or other things. Nobody knows that I feel this way about gambling, because I am a private/independant person, and I don't borrow or anything like that to fund it. But I am thinking of telling my best friend my concerns about it, if only to be able to share it and get his support. I think that if he knew, then everything could change. Maybe tell him more than one thing. But I hate putting my faith in people, and one person at that too. Although we have been best friends for 4 years, and he has never let me down yet.

Feedback, please and thank you.

Fea.

Hey there, You've raised a few points here hun, and I'm not too sure which seems to be bother you more, your view of yourself physically, girls, or the gambling. Personally speaking from experience, you should think seriously about the gambling first and foremost. Find a way to stop completely before you find yourself consumed by it completely and you won't care about girls or how good you look.

I know someone that started off exactly like you are now, he lost everything. Wife, kids, home, job, the works. I'm not trying to scare you, but its the truth.

xxx