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Confused

  • 05-06-2011 12:40am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there.

    Have a problem which I'd like to share. First time posting here!

    Basically I am 18 and have been going out with my girlfriend for just under 3 years. I love her so much and I know she does too. We went through a roughish patch a while ago but are back on track now.

    However, the past few weeks I've been thinking whether I want to be in the same relationship for all my life. I'm young and think maybe I should be out doing whatever I want and can be spontaneous with decisions without having to tell the gf about them and the likes. Also, my friends, all lads, are going away in August and I'd love to go away with them. I've only got enough money to go on one holiday and obviously she wants to go away too. I would rather go away with the lads as I know I'd more than likely live to regret it when they're all talking about it in September. This thought alone makes me question whether I should be with her or not. Another thing is a few years down the line, I wanna travel the world once I finish my college degree while she is pretty sure she couldn't do it and only would for me. Not really what I wanna hear.

    Just very confused on what is going on in my head. Feels good to even get it out on here! I love her a hell of a lot but I wonder if I stay with her and miss out on things like the holiday away with my friends will I end up resenting her in years to come?

    Thanks guys,

    Steve.


Comments

  • #2
    car.kar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 101 ✭✭car.kar


    You're young, OP. Its understandable to want to be out experiencing new things, new people, living life. My ex boyfriend broke up with me recently for extremely similar reasons, and although I was devastated, I understood. Its a tricky reason to break up though, because you're both still in love, so naturally it'll be very hard to deal with. Best of luck.


  • #3
    solerina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,435 ✭✭✭solerina


    You are very young OP and you both have lots of living ahead of you....obviously you have a good relationship with your GF but that doesnt mean you have to do everything to suit her...think about what you really want and then make the decisions...if you can only afford one holiday then go with your friends, you are right, you will regret not going...maybe she has girlfriends who she can go with. Maybe ye are right for each other but just not right now !! Sometimes as we grow up we have to make difficult decisions which often includes letting go of people we really care about (if she is right for you ye will find each other again in the future / find a way to solve this problem right now)


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies.

    I am just really confused. She's a great girl and I do love her. But I feel I'm moving away from her due to these thoughts. On one hand, I feel I'll end up resenting her if I don't do my own things and live my life, while on the other hand I feel like I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I let her go.

    So difficult :(


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