how many times do a couple have sex

LegacyUser

that is the big question

how many times do a couple have sex?

40yearold couple

once a month

dudara

OP, this is a forum for Relationship Issues. We can offer you better advice if you provide us with more information.

dudara

LegacyUser

dudara wrote: »

OP, this is a forum for Relationship Issues. We can offer you better advice if you provide us with more information.

dudara

wife tells me we are normal

i am just wondering what normal actually is
there are actually a lot more issues, but this is the one that pops up the most

Capt'n Midnight

a couple of times :pac:

IIRC the average is two times a week, but google would help you there


It's the old joke

The man "we only have sex once a week"

The woman "he wants to have sex every week"



But yeah need more data to compute

is it a deal breaker ?
have ye talked about it ?

Kevin Duffy

When both partners are happy, they are having exactly the right amount of sex. If either is unhappy, it's not the right amount. Aiming for the "normal" amount is pointless, aiming for the right amount for you both to be happy is what matters.

finbarrk

Once a month would be on the weak side though.

kylith

There is no 'normal'. If both partners are happy then that's all that matters.

Normal, ie. average quantity of sex is irrelevant. Maybe the average is two times a week, but that could mean anything.

Averages can be extremely misleading. If a couple is having sex twice a day five days a week, that's ten times a week, forty times a month (in a 4 week month), and eighty times every two months. If two other couples are having sex once every two months:
Average= Total number of times divided by total number of couples = 80+1+1/3 = 27.333 times every two months = 13.6667 times a month = 3.41667 times a week

So even though two thirds, the majority, of the sample size was only doing it once every two months, the average makes it seem like they're doing it every second day. Which is ridiculously different to the truth.

How much sex you have will also depend on age/fitness/libido/lifestyle, and how busy your life is. So there is no "normal".

If you feel you're not getting enough sex, you need to talk to her about it. It's not fair to expect her to have sex when she doesn't want to, but it's also not fair for her to expect you to be ok with going without sex just by justifying it with "well it's normal". Talk to her and try to come to some compromise. I know it's harder than it sounds, but it's an issue that really must be dealt with, in a calm, understanding way, not in a "well this is what I think I should be allowed to expect as it's normal". That applies to both of you. Good luck.

Beruthiel

really really confused wrote: »

i am just wondering what normal actually is

Me too.
In fact, I'd say a lot of us here would like to know what 'normal' is.

there are actually a lot more issues, but this is the one that pops up the most

Perhaps it pops up because of the other issues?
Men can separate all their other life stuff from sex.
Most women cannot and one can reflect on the other.
Talk to your wife, discuss everything, not just the sex.