Girl Trouble (Total Confusion)

daniels.ducks

Hi,
I have been treating this girl i fancy really well ie. buying her tickets to matches, driving her around, telling her how lovely she is, just trying my best.

I really, really fancy her...

I want to tell her how I feel about her straight out to her face while we are both sober but I keep chickening out.. The other night at a house party(when I had a few beverages in myself) I finally plucked up the courage. So I stopped her and said "hey can I talk to you?". She blanked me and walked away. Two minutes later I saw her on another fellas lap. About a half an hour later I tried to stop her again as she was walking past and the same thing again. So I left it at that.

I woke up in the morning in the same house. She came out of the bedroom with him. I know she didn't sleep with him because she is not that kind of girl.

My biggest problem is that I know she likes me. Or else she is leading me on. (I have a car and i'm 17 so that could be a reason)... Should I just come straight out with it next time I see her or should I just ignore her, give her a taste of her own medicine.

P.S this fella is a friend of mine... a nice guy too

18AD

Just tell her. Do it.

Maybe ask her why she was ignoring you, if that bothered you.

Don't play those "taste of your own medicine" games. Ever. Unless you want an emotional mess on your hands. Probably your own.

Galvasean

I'm a bit of a cynic, but it sounds to me like she's using you. If she's happy to be with you when you're flashing the cash, but blanks you when there's a seemingly better offer on the cards you gotta ask yourself is it you she likes or simply what you can give her?

Otis Driftwood

Ive moved this thread to personal issues OP,you will probably get more balanced opinions here.

Ickle Magoo

So, you are trying to buy her affections and she blanks you to sit on another guys lap...she came out of a bedroom in the morning with another guy and you know she didn't sleep with him because despite being happy to take your gifts and then ignore you - and squirm on another guys lap...she's not "that" kind of girl?!

I think you are better off chalking this one up to experience and moving on pronto - save yourself a packet of cash and heartache.

All the best.

Bloody Nipples

I'd come straight out with it. Though signs don't seem that promising. At least then you'd know for better or worse and you can pat yourself on the back for having the balls to come out and say it. The fact that she spent the night with another guy right under your nose should be screamingly obvious I would have thought.

You're acting as a total pushover as well with all the ticket buying and driving her around, that's stuff you do for a girlfriend when you're actually in a relationship. Giving her a lift is grand though if it's getting in your car purely for her you're being a total sucker. Stop that, it comes across as a bit pathetic.

LegacyUser

You should tell her. At least you'll get it off your chest, whatever the result. It's obviously hard to tell online, without having ever met her, but maybe the previous poster is right and she is a user, or if your are sure that she likes you, OP, maybe she is the insecure one playing mind games and wanted you to see her with another guy?

Pentecost

Tbh blanking you at all, drink or no, unless she's seriously annoyed with you, is a major red light. Why put up with it, I know what it's like to be 17
and cracked into someone but I dont see any signs for encouragement here, sorry. Chances are she likes that other guy and kissed him at least.

Wompa1

Sorry buddy she isn't into you. She's using you. Same happened to me when I was 17 with a car. Do what I did, if she asks for a lift somewhere that's a decent distance away some day, bring her out there...she'll assume you're driving her back...don't, just drive off. Screw her. And you say she's not that type of girl..she most likely had sex with that guy. The type of girl that would use a guy for his car is exactly the type of girl that would f**k a guy at a house party. You can do better than that skank. Chin up

Juicyfruit

Op, as above poster said, sounds to me like she's using you. She knows you like her and she's having a great time using you when she feels like it but when she's occupied with other things she asts like she doesn't even know you.

I wouldn't open my mouth OP, you don't need to. She knows already and is taking advantage of it.

Miss Fluff

Sorry but she's interested in your car, and clearly not interested in you. I'd forget about her if I were you.

And on another note, what kind of ill-mannered madam will use you for lifts and accept gifts from you and then not even have the common courtesy to acknowledge you in public? (before scoring one of your mates).....seriously :mad:

Peanut2011

OP, just forget about her and move on! If she did not even have the decency to stop and talk to you as you mentioned she is only using you. Treating her well is one thing, buying her stuff and bringing her around everywhere she wants to go is more of a justification for you thinking that will make her like you more.

Unfortunately, and in time you will understand, no woman / girl has much appreciation for any guy they can just walk all over and that seems to be the case here...


Sorry to be so blunt but you need to wake up now while you are still young.

You seem to have a case of the rose tinted glasses.

This girl just isn't as great as you think she is. She uses you, leads you on, then as soon as there's another guy giving her some attention she completely blanks you?

Maybe you're right. Maybe she isn't "that sort of girl", but I guarantee you that even if they didn't sleep together, there was some stuff going on in that room that they needed to be alone for.

There's a common misconception that girls will get with guys that have earned their affection. That if a guy puts enough effort in, treats her well and is a nice guy, he'll get the girl in the end. That's just not how it works. She's either attracted to you or not, and in this case it seems not. Don't waste your time spending money on her and being affectionate/complimentary to her, as I assure you that if she appreciated it as much as she should, you'd know about it already.

There's a chance that she was trying to make you jealous, but really, if this girl needs to have money spent on her and attention given to her and still plays mind games, you might as well drop her anyway.

LegacyUser

Unless shes totally blind she already knows well you have the major hots for her. You wouldnt need to say it in words, your already telling her loud and clear with your actions. If she was into you she would have given you some indication by now she reciprocated those feelings. Instead shes given you a loud and clear indication shes not into you.

daniels.ducks

Thanks for all of the replies.
She makes a bit of a fool out of herself when she has drink in her alright, I think I am just going to say how I feel to her and see what she says. One thing I don't want to have is regrets....

daniels.ducks

Sent her a text last night asking her if she wants to meet up over the weekend... she said she was studying.... fairly understandable I suppose.
I was sort of thinking I was going to get that response. Just thought she might have said something like... "ya maybe after the leaving"

AngryBadger

daniels.ducks wrote: »

"hey can I talk to you?". She blanked me and walked away.

That says it all for me OP. Think about this for a minute, if a friend of yours started talking to you, would you blank them? Would you just walk away?

I'd love to say you shoudl tell her and hope for the best, but I don't think that's going to happen. I think she's using you, and because she knows she can just jilt you whenever is suits her (I mean you've described TWO instances within 20 minutes of each other.

That's all I'll say. You're smart enough to work out the rest.

solerina

daniels.ducks wrote: »

Thanks for all of the replies.
She makes a bit of a fool out of herself when she has drink in her alright, I think I am just going to say how I feel to her and see what she says. One thing I don't want to have is regrets....

My mother alwasy says
What sobriety conceals drunkenness reveals.
She wants you for your car nothing more....she isnt into you.
Say nothing to her and move on and find someone who treats you as well as you are treating this girl !!

coco_lola

daniels.ducks wrote: »

Sent her a text last night asking her if she wants to meet up over the weekend... she said she was studying.... fairly understandable I suppose.
I was sort of thinking I was going to get that response. Just thought she might have said something like... "ya maybe after the leaving"

Tbh it sounds like a bit of a cop out to me OP. Studying all weekend? I know the leaving cert is coming up but she could surely take some time to meet you even if it was only for an hour, everyone needs a break from studying.. It was a long time ago when I did my leaving cert but I know for a fact I wasnt studying all day and all night, I took some time out to hang out with friends because you'd crack up otherwise.

You have been very good to her in terms of driving her around, buying her tickets etc., she could surely make time to see you. I'd cut your losses and move on tbh, or if you really want to tell her, just say it over a text maybe. I know texting is bigger in your generation, so you'll get your answer faster. Otherwise you'll be waiting ages for your answer if she's doing her leaving cert. But just brace yourself for the fact that it may not be the answer you hoped it would be. All the best.

El Siglo

OP she's not attracted to you, and no matter how much you want that to change it won't. She went into a bedroom with another lad when you were both at a house party, she blanked you twice, and now she doesn't want to talk to you because she's studying. I know it sounds crap and it will hurt, but cut your losses now. She's messing with your head because at the back of it she likes the idea that you're still there for her i.e. you're kind of like her back-up for when shit goes bad. It's not worth it, stop talking to her, texting, remove her as a friend from facebook etc... You have her up on a pedestal and that's understandable because you like her, that's human. However, she's not going to like in that way and there's not point flogging a dead horse. You can find someone else and they'll be worth it, not this one though, chalk this one down to experience and move on.

daniels.ducks

Ok I have talked to her. We went for a drive yesterday. She says that she just sees me as a really good friend and that she has thought about us being together.
I am now letting her drive my car :rolleyes: I'm such a softie

Herrick

daniels.ducks wrote: »

Ok I have talked to her. We went for a drive yesterday. She says that she just sees me as a really good friend and that she has thought about us being together.
I am now letting her drive my car :rolleyes: I'm such a softie

Yes and she fcukin well knows it. She is taking you for a mug because she knows you like her and can't say no. How can you be a really good friend? She blanked you twice ffs, who would do that to a friend?! She is using you plain and simple.

I'm sorry to be so harsh, but seriously, tell her to fcuk off. You seem like a good guy, so go and find a girl that will respect and appreciate you.

daniels.ducks

daniels.ducks wrote: »

Ok I have talked to her. We went for a drive yesterday. She says that she just sees me as a really good friend and that she has thought about us being together.
I am now letting her drive my car :rolleyes: I'm such a softie

God almighty just cop on to yourself and get rid of this manipulative little user. Leave her where you found her and move on.

Wolfe Tone

Seriously dude tell her to fcuk off, she is making an absolute fool of you


On the bright side like me you have learned a valuable lesson early in life about women.