Being the first to say 'I love you'

LegacyUser

Here's the 'problem' & I know it's a silly one but just wanted to see if anyone has been in the same position.

Been with my bf for about 6 mths and v v v happy with him. I've realised over the last few wks that my feelins for him are pretty much love. When we first got together I enjoyed bein with him a lot but wasn't sure whether it would ever develop into something that would last for a long time, but I'm fairly confident that it will now.

The thing is that I have only ever said 'I love you' to 1 other person & it ended badly, so I'm terrified of being the first one to say it. When we got together I never imagined that I would be the first one to say it altho if he said it to me, I would definitely say it back.

I kno most people will just say 'say it if you feel it' but I feel very vulnerable about this & also worried that if I don't say it, that he never will. Is 6 months a long time for neither person to express that feeling? Maybe he doesn't feel it (yet) or something... I'm kind of tyin myself up in knots thinking about what he may or may not feel. I've read a few threads on boards in the past where people usually say it within a few months of going out, but I wanted to be really sure that I really felt it about him. Were both 26.

LegacyUser

Seriously.... 200 views and not a single reply?

EireEV

It is not a silly problem hun so first of all don't be thinking that way.

To be honest you have to trust the way you feel otherwise you will always doubt how you really feel about that person. If you really love him I would definitely tell him, the likihood is that he feels exactly the same but is unsure of your true feelings and like yourself does not want to say something and look like a fool afterwards.

You have to grab love with both hands when it comes along.. What's the worst that can happen :-)

Hope it all works out for you.

LegacyUser

Firstly, don't get hung up on the time frame. If you feel like saying it then say it! But one thing I would say is be prepared for him not to say it back straight away! I've been going out with my boyfriend a good few months now and he said I love you quite early on & it kind of floored me. I wasn't ready to say it there & then but I told him honestly that I really cared for him but I wasn't willing to say it back just because he had said it, that I promised when I did say it I would 100% mean it. He was absolutely happy with that. A month or two later it hit me like a tonne of bricks how much I loved him & i just blurted it out & told him. It just felt right. If I had said it when he did, it would have been me just saying what I thought he wanted to hear...

Dunno if that's any help to you..... Be brave & tell him how you feel. I know you feel vulnerable (who doesn't) but at the end of the day who doesn't want to be told someone loves them?! Even if he doesn't say it back straight away, it doesn't mean he won't appreciate being told you care for him.

solerina

Say it if you feel its right to say it...dont expect him to say it back. I have been with my boyfriend six months and he told me he loved me after about 6 weeks...and has said it hundreds of times since....I have never said it back....I am not able to yet and he understands this.