Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Old flame

  • 01-06-2011 6:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    A few years ago, my male best friend, "J", admitted he'd had feelings for me
    However, I was dating someone at the time (which J knew)- turned out to be a LTR, which has recently ended- so it never went anywhere.
    During recent years, I sort of lost contact with J, partially out of awkwardness, and mainly out of respect for my relationship/bf.
    Anyway, since the breakup, it's been been suggested I meet up with J again, see where things go. We last met 6 months ago, & prior to that, 2 years.
    But I'm not sure. He's a dote of a guy, we've always gotten on exceptionally well when we do meet& could chat for hours. I know he still has a soft spot for me. We "click", BUT I don't know if there's any romantic chemistry,& if not, I'm wary of rejecting him second time round.
    We live a few hours apart, so there's no way of randomly bumping into each other.
    So. Do I follow my friends' advice& renew the friendship, or leave well enough alone?


Comments

  • #2
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    Just be honest, tell him you want to meet up to see if there is anything there.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    hi op,

    this happened to me last year; same sit as you- had a friend announce his interest in me some years ago, we had a fling and then I left and it was over as i started a long term relationship almost immediately afterwards. Then last year the LTR had ended and me and this friend started chatting more on skype etc. He suggests meeting up - I agree. We go to spend a weekend together (both lived in different countries and we met up mid way!) and it was a DISASTER!!!

    I knew the second i saw him that I still felt there was no romantic chemistry and the weekend was headed for heartbreak, a terrible feeling.

    I told him the truth - and essentially hurt him for a SECOND time. a really great guy that would be a great friend is lost forever because I was 'trying' to see if i liked him.

    You've got to ask yourself why you didnt feel something for him in the first place - just trying to caution you to the risks.

    On the other hand - it is important to have no regrets and so by all means give it a shot with him if you feel it! just think carefully first is all i'm saying!!


Advertisement