Child Doesn't Want to Ride Anymore...

sfmonet

here's the story. My daughter (13) just started to ride in April. She's loved it at first and was even beginning to work in the stables before her lesson. Last week was the first time I hadn't seen her do her lesson and she came home crying. She said they were doing jumps (now I had seen mini jumps), but this one freaked her out. She didn't fall but was so frightened she doesn't want to go again. She's going to work in the stables again, but what should I do? Her friend who's been riding for years says to just go again. She loved it before, so what should I do?

Any suggestions please let me know. I was going to speak the the instructor and say she's just not ready for the jumps yet.


Thanks again!

9wetfckx43j5rg

Do you ride yourself?

She was just probably just pushed a bit too far, she may have got left behind on a jump or something and had a bit of a scare which has knocked her confidence. The best thing you can do is support and encourage her. You could talk to her instructor. If the instructor is a good one, then he/she may talk to your child and explain what happened and encourage her. If her instructor seems disinterested, I suggest you move yards and find a new one.

Allow your child to continue working at the stables too. If she's as horse mad as you say she is, she won't be able to stay out of the saddle.

sfmonet

No I don't ride myself.

Supposedly what happened is that the horse knocked all the posts down and it freaked her out. She's had some tough horses to ride and being so new at this she's worried its always going to be like this. She's only been going once a week and I thought that groundwork was the most important thing to get down.

Yes I am going to talk to the instructor. She goes with 2 of her best friends and they loved it, but she's already told them she's not doing the lesson.

I feel so bad for not being there to see what happened....hopefully we can see how it goes....

9wetfckx43j5rg

Knocking a fence is very common when learning, as is falling off. Even though she didn't fall off, the old adage of getting back in the saddle still applies.

Her instructor should really be instilling her with confidence. See what they have to say. Hopefully encouraging her and explaining that mistakes are all part of the learning process will help.

Ave Sodalis

I agree with talking to the instructor, especially since you don't ride yourself and tell him/her the story. I would also sit in with the next lesson (if she goes back).
I would be concerned about the fact the child is being put on tough horses to ride, when she's only been riding since April. Also, it seems a bit early for jumping. As you said, groundwork is the most important thing. Maybe it's just me personally but I wouldn't start a child jumping until they can walk, trot, canter and stop with confidence, and I wouldn't start cantering until about 6 months... but that could just be me.
Don't push her into going back but encourage her. Explain to her that falling off is apart of the sport and that majority of the time, you can't even feel it. Show her that even professionals knock poles. (I would look up videos for this as proof... just make sure the rider doesn't fall in them) Also, tell her that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't feel ready to do.

Angelmangle

She is doing much to much way to early. If she only started riding in April then she will still be learning her rising trot and should not be allowed anywhere near a fence and certainly not put up on "tough" horses especially if she is only riding once a week! The next step is learning to canter and certainly not to jump unless its walking over poles on the ground.

The yard sounds a tad "gung ho" in regard to its safety and I would be concerned about sending her there again as it sounds like an accident waiting to happen. Is this yard BHS or AIRE approved? If not then take her somewhere that is and maybe get her a few private lessons to start off with before she joins a group lesson again. Check out the www.aire.ie website for a list of approved riding schools, also if you can find somewhere that is a BHS (British Horse Society) training establishment then you know they will operate to very high standards.

twomeys

Id have to agree with Angel. We have many yards in our county and we hear all the stories back about horse care, amount of people in lessons, the age of instructors etc etc. You'd be shocked at how "relaxed" and I use that term carefully, some yards are. If your daughter started in April I would be surprised they are doing jumps. There is an awful lot to learn in just flat work and controlling the animal and caring for the animal. This yard may not be suitable for you or your daughter. It may be an idea to sit your daughter down and explain that maybe they rushed her and to look for another yard.

Its perfectly natural for her to get spooked, Im only learning myself (my partners the pro!) and there is no way Id go jumping in a month. If you dont already stay there to watch a lesson I recommend you do. Some yards dont allow it but some you have to watch. Reassure your daughter that she was dead right to get scared and its perfectly normal and everyone would feel that. Make sure to say to her as well that what shes doing is not easy and so has done great so far.

Might be an idea to create a post to ask people recommend good yards that take riders to a level at an appropriate time. Even if they are Aire approved it doesnt mean they are perfect.

Regards,

Eoghan

pearliewhite

It's a tricky one....I'd really encourage her to go again because it's hard to get back into it if you give up through fear. In what way were the horses tough? Even the quietest of school horses tend to take advantage when they know they can- and this can be unnerving for beginners. I really doubt the riding school would give her any difficult horses at this stage. You should prob talk to the instructor and make sure your daughter knows the basic aids before doing any more jumps. Maybe a private lunge lesson might give her some confidence, and it'd allow the instructor to assess her riding without the distraction of other riders in the lesson. You'll probably find she'll want to join her friends in the lesson before too long.
Definitely talk to her instructor and make sure she gets a horse she's comfortable with. And your daughter shouldn't feel pressure to do all the jumps- people in my lesson skip out certain jumps/ exercises they're not comfortable doing and nobody thinks any less of them!
It's a good sign that she still wants to work with the horses in the stable. Best of luck