Failing at life

LegacyUser

Worried about how my life is going.

In one sense everything has gone to plan such as I have a gotten my degree with a good grade, got a job with a massive multi-national company straight after graduating and earning a good wage but in other sense of things I am failing miserably which my prior experience with women which is pretty much none existent.

The embarrassing thing is I havent even so much as to kissed a girl now in a few years. Its not like that I working so hard I didnt have time, I am a very laid back person. I didnt do much work in college till my final year and I dont bring work home with me either. I am not a loner or anything like at college I knew a lot of people. Though I do feel like one now as I have moved to a new city for the job where I dont know many people and I am not finding it as easy to meet people like I did at college. I have joined the football team at work but other then that I am not meeting many people.

On clubs I have mixed views on them such as I love going to them with my mates from college when a certain type of music is being played and taking the piss but I just cannot get with women there unless I actual have been talking to them somewhere else such as like it was one of my friends mates and got talking before going to the club. That said I havent even been in a club now in three months and havent even had a drink in two months.

I wouldnt consider myself ugly or anything its more that I dont have a lot of female interaction besides my two sisters and mother. The reasons for this is that my college course all lads, football all lads, work out of 80 people who work on my floor 4 of them are girls, the hole building is like 80% guys.

I am not trying to find the perfect girl or something I just even what to have a bit of fun which I am not having and its getting me down.

Even though I work in IT I wouldnt be too keen on internet dating.

There is other clubs I am looking into joining but they are going to be male dominated as well.

I just a bit lost on what to do?

There is one girl who I really fancied while at college and I am friends with her on Facebook but havent talked to her in almost two years and I am really tempted just to start talking to her on Facebook but I am not sure if she still even remembers me.

Miss Fluff

Womenless wrote: »

Even though I work in IT I wouldnt be too keen on internet dating.

I really think you should give it a go. Circumstances are limiting you to mainly male company so I do think online dating would at least be worth a try!

LegacyUser

talk to the girl on facebook. The worst outcome is she doesnt reply, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

mikemac

You work in an large office and I would imagine there are speed dating events around your area, especially if this is a big business area

If not, be an entrepreneur and you set them up and make some part time cash :cool:

It's good craic, it can be terrifying to think about but it'll drag you out of your shell.
And from what I'm seen, it's harder to get lads to these events then girls. Girls tend to be up for these events.
Which is all the better for you OP, he who dares and all that

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I really think you should give it a go. Circumstances are limiting you to mainly male company so I do think online dating would at least be worth a try!

I can see how it would be good but I just dont like the idea of meeting someone online first and then meeting up. Also photos can be deceiving.

mikemac wrote: »

You work in an large office and I would imagine there are speed dating events around your area, especially if this is a big business area

If not, be an entrepreneur and you set them up and make some part time cash :cool:

It's good craic, it can be terrifying to think about but it'll drag you out of your shell.
And from what I'm seen, it's harder to get lads to these events then girls. Girls tend to be up for these events.
Which is all the better for you OP, he who dares and all that

Humm didnt even think it was done in Ireland nor did it even enter my mind. The idea completely terrifies me I can safely say. Would many young people (Im still in my early 20s) go to this?

idle passerby wrote: »

talk to the girl on facebook. The worst outcome is she doesnt reply, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

True, but I tend to over think these types of things. I have no idea if she even remembers me, or what to say. Also by looking at her page there seems to be a lot of lads after her.

LegacyUser

Me again.

Nothing really has changed since my last post. Just getting really fed up with my life ATM work is slowing becoming the only thing I do other then playing football twice a week.

There is two girls in my building that I have had my eye on.

I have been moved around the building a couple of times and in one location this girl I kept on making eye contact any time she walk past my desk and when I walk past her in the corridor she smiles back at me but one night I was late in the office and I walk past her desk only to see a wedding photo of herself and her other half.

Then there is this other girl who I keep on seeing in the canteen. She is a very good looking girl and is more then likely out of my league even though I wouldnt like to admit it. Keep on making eye contact with her and I get very frustrated that I cant even go up and talk to her about something. The other day she was in front of me in the queue and I was facing her her left side (if you get me) and I see her look back at me but I just looked away as I didnt want to come across as a creep just staring her out of it.

Been seeing her around a fair bit actually and not just the office seeing her around town as well. Then today she came out of the elevator I was getting into and I just got so pissed off at myself for not being able to talk to such a girl.

Its not that I cant talk to women or anything its just that I cant start up a conversation with a girl for no reason, like if I see a hot shop assistant I will find any excuse to talk to her like today I was in a clothes shop and I asked one where would I get something even though that shop had nothing to do with it.

Ainekav

You probably need to focus on hanging out with girls rather than approaching girls you dont know - because it's easier!

Do any of these football lads go on the beer afterwards? Go along with them, chances are if you do, they will start to invite you out at weekends etc, where the chances are they will know girls that are going out too.

What are your housemates like? are any of them female? I think you even need some interaction to get you more comfortable around women... That could be a start if you had female housemates.

If you are that nervous around girls I don't think speed dating is the way to go just yet... I may be wrong though, and if you think you will enjoy it then go for it!

I would suggest you organise a big work night out, or invite people round to your house for a few drinks on a Sat nite, and ask the girls along too! Really casual like... and take it from there?? You are very clearly stuck in a rut but it's kinda up to yourself to get out of it.

There's my 2 cents
There are always ways and means.............

Ainekav

Sorry, I just saw that you say that you aren't necessarily uncomforatble around girls - but even having a party/drinks would give you something to talk about to them...

LegacyUser

1. Stop stating at girls

2. Girls are the same as guys

3. Make female friends.

4. Join a club with women members

5. Try internet dating if only to get practice at dates and meeting and speaking with women

6. Learn how to say "Hey, how;re things? how was the weekend?" "Hey, how;re things - any plans for the weekend?" And follow it up with "cool, sounds great"... . that's how conversations start.

I hang around with a lot of women - part of a club. The better you interact women as a friend, the better you'll get on with them on a date.

Friend of mine went to Salsa classes and hooked up with a girl from there.

The more you get involved in the more chance you'll meet someone you click with.

DOn't pressure yourself

Ainekav

Couldn't have said it better myself

Women are the same as men to talk to