Erection question for the guys

LegacyUser

Excuse the length of this message.

I've got a male friend who I get on very well with and for the last few years there has been a huge attraction between the two of us. Hes also been a great friend to me over the years, been really supportive when I lost my parents and got made redundant. I know he cares about me deeply and I feel the same towards him. He told me a few years ago that he was in love with me but I was involved with someone at the time. A few days ago we finally kissed for the first time, there has been so much chemistry and flirting for so many years that it was an absolutely incredible kiss. We were in a public place, so things didn't get too physical but the feeling of his lips on mine and his hands on my waist and back made me feel really aroused, it was extremely overwhelming and I thought that he would feel the same but when I pressed myself against him I didn't feel anything happening downstairs. I thought it was a little weird because I know he really fancies me but didn't give it too much

Last night I invited him over for pizza, had organized for my brother to be out, rented a rom com, got some candles and romantic music and thought perfect opportunity to finally sleep together. Things started hotting up between us and we ended up in bed and both of us stripped down to just pants. He seemed to me to be incredibly horny, at least that it how it seemed from the way he was touching me and responding to my touch but he wasn't hard. We got interrupted by a minor emergency call from someone which was a blessing in disguise as I didn't know what to do.

Anyway, I've never encountered this before and so I want some advice from people, preferably the guys, on how to handle this if it happens again the next time. Should I ask him straight out what's going on? I know he hasn't really been with any women in a long time and my gut feeling is that he's just nervous because I know he really likes me and he probably feels out of practice but I'm worried that he'll tell me it something that been a problem for years and maybe that's why he hasn't been with women. I'm really in love with this guy and have wanted to physical with him for so long that I feel a bit disappointed and worried.

He's away for the next week with work and I'm really excited about seeing him on Friday when he gets back but now I feel concerned about things not going well in bed for us. There's so much chemistry between us that I never imagined there would be a problem between us between the sheets.

Maybe I'm worrying unnecessarily and it'll be fine the next time but the fact that there's been two unreactions is making me question it. What should I do if we get naked and he's not hard, is there anything I can do? If I try to get him hard directly and it doesn't work I'm sure it'll make him feel bad and probably upset my confidence too. Any tips on how to make him feel relaxed, I really like him and don't want to upset him or make him feel inadequate or nervous or under pressure to perform.

Btw he's not a drinker so it wasnt an alcohol induced problem.

Mods, feel free to edit if I've been inappropriate.

LegacyUser

most likely nerves, if he's as crazy about you as you are about him there'll be 1000 things going thru his mind about making you happy in bed and this can cause our bits to act like eejits

.. maybe next time give him some "special" attention and see what happens.

Motley Crue

I don't think he had a problem. From personal experience I've found that you don't really go hard until things get going. You tend to be just flacid or lightly erect until a girl moves her hand towards your manhood or until you get to the point where penetration is just about to happen - i.e. when your pants are off

I wouldn't worry about it, do everything you did before again, and I'm sure when the time comes he'll perform as good as you expect

LegacyUser

you need to chill out. if he was'nt attracted to you he would not have ended up in bed with you..personally re: kissing, i rarely get a full hard on when kissing as it does'nt compare to full on sex, its a warm up...semi yea....

i think you need to get this 'is it me' insecure thing out of your head as he will pick up on it & then its bye bye hard on...he's probably a bit nervous as its been a while & it can take a few times in bed before people become relaxed and comfortable with each other...just enjoy the intimacy, dont put him under pressure and it should be cool...

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone! I'm sure you're right and I'm just over thinking it! Cheers all.