Biggest Regret

LegacyUser

About 3 years ago my girlfriend and I ended our two year relationship. It ended for many reasons - the fact that it had become a long distance relationship and the fact that I wasn't entirely faithful - while I never did anything physically with a girl, I did engage in a lot of flirty texts and pictures with other women, which she found out about. I also flirted with her best friend - the day before my ex was due to go back to where she was living then.

I've regretted my decisions ever since then. Last week I decided to text her, because I've been going through a really rough patch since then - a pretty severe depression brought on by other factors - and I wanted to apologize. While we did text for a while, she told me to leave her be as she didn't want her current boyfriend to get the wrong idea.

The thing that kills me is that since then I've had two somewhat disastrous relationships, one which was one of the many triggers in my spiraling depression. I'm beginning to think that that was my one and only shot at a proper relationship, with a girl who adored and was devouted to me.

It made me feel special.

It was my own immaturity and my horniness and my need for some sort of connection with someone, as I couldn't get it from her, that caused it and now she won't even talk to me anymore.

fghijkl

Honest advice? Well sorry but it's gona sound harsh....

You sound incredibly unbelievably selfish.
Leave her alone. You've betrayed and hurt her enough already.
Stay out of her life and stop causing trouble for her.

Past girlfriends are not the cause of your depression.
Depression is not caused by other people.
Nobody else is to blame for your depression.
Stop blaming other people.

You were the one at fault.
She can't "fix" you. Nobody can. Nobody but you.

Again, Stop contacting her.
It doesn't sound like you've "matured" one iota since your relationship with her.
Don't drag her down with you.
Leave her alone.

Firetrap

I think you're looking back on your ex girlfriend with rose tinted glasses firmly in place. The truth is, you behaved very badly and you will have to live with the consequences of that. Who's to say either that a year or two down the line, when the "honeymoon" phase has passed, that you'd not be at the same thing again?

I'm guessing that you're feeling lonely and rather desperate and that is why you've decided that she is the one who'll make everything alright again. It's a good thing for your sake that she's with someone else and doesn't.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to get your own house in order. Get whatever help you can to solve your depression issues and do your best to get on with your life. Don't be looking back at the past with regret and idealising what you had with your ex. If you sort your own head out, who's to say you won't meet someone else and be happy?

Curry Addict

sounds like u are looking for an ego boost after 2 more failed relationships trying to dress it up as an apology. you are certainly not contacting your x for her benefit.

dudara

It doesn't sound as if you have the right reasons for contacting her. You essentially appear to be after an ego-boost (because subsequent relationships haven't worked).

LegacyUser

I didn't text her looking for an ego boost - I know that what I did was wrong and my bad experiences has made me change my perspective on things. I know she has moved on and is probably much more happy with this guy than she ever was with me. I told her I went through a bad patch, that everything went to heck - but in my head I was giving her an ego boost.

seenitall

If you are looking to be a better and more mature person now, letting go of the past shows maturity, OP.

Leave the poor girl in peace, she is obviously a decent person for entertaining your apology at all, and so doesn't deserve to be plagued by your attention. If you'd done to me what you did to her, I'd just hang up on you/not answer any of your texts.

As for who gave who an ego boost, don't kid yourself; she is in a new relationship and doesn't need an ego boost from the likes of you, it is you who felt the need to draw her attention to yourself again. Being the needy one sucks, doesn't it?

Grow up, OP. Let go of the past and start treating women better, maybe you'll find them treating you better in return.