Do you follow the ''treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen'' mantra when dating?

SparkyTech

'Playing hard to get', 'showing him/her what him/her is missing', 'sure arn't ye more desirable when your playing hard ball...', 'dont call him/her back for 3 days to look like your busy and unavailable, having a life' :rolleyes:

How many of us have seen/heard these phrases/paraphrases in modern filims, tv's, dramas and seen the attitude amongst our friends? If your into someone isn't better to go with the flow and meet up regularly, be honest with each other, then playing the aloof, detached card. Facebook has made unrequited love even more painful when you search (sorry, stalk your :P) potential new other half and see how 'fabulous' their amazingly busy life is, what with all those hip after work parties and cool friends/witty status updates (or not, as the case may be :pac:)

Has communication gone down the toilet in modern society that all our flirting has to be by virtual text and phone calls, in our reluctance to return face to face dating? And what is it with people playing hard to get moreso then not. Unless your needy, theres no need to keep the other person in the dark

In before...
'Id blast him/her with piss'
'Im very HARD to get...'
'Other witty innuendo pun...':P

Caliden

Nobody wants someone who is super eager or keen, that's why that rule works.

I don't play mind games, but having your own space and not being clingy is important

Alter-Ego

People only want what they can't have.

Playing hard to get and treating 'em mean to keep 'em keen works, but there is a certain point where you need to quit the sh1t and stop being a minge/cock tease.

Facebook is a pain in the arse when dating, as it allows people get more of an insight into your life (than in Pre-Facebook days) and often people make false assumptions about people from stalking them on Facebook.

Still, nothing like knockin' one out to a burrds holiday snaps. :pac:

**** mind games. Anybody that tries to play those just isn't worth my time.

liah

Don't have time for people who play hard to get and I don't do it myself.

Different story entirely if they're genuinely busy and have stuff on - independence is an incredibly attractive thing. But I won't set foot near anyone who claims they do, but doesn't, just to make sure you're interested in them. Just means they're a manipulative liar, more than anything else.

martic

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away and know when to run

easychair

"treat en mean keep en keen" seems to suggest the OP is looking for mroe than one person for dates, and in the situation where thats the attitude, most guys who play that game are not looking for a life partner, but a series of sexual encounters.

Redlion

I hate all that ****e when your dating a girl.

I like it simple.We both have our separate lives, we ring each other without worrying about whether it's within the right time period(or if it's too much), we communicate like adults and we enjoy each others company. Honestly, that's what I believe an mature adult relationship to be.

Why should good things be ruined by over-thinking things and unnecessary drama?

Kevin Duffy

SparkyTech wrote: »

Has communication gone down the toilet in modern society that all our flirting has to be by virtual text and phone calls, in our reluctance to return face to face dating?

What other kind of dating is there? If it's not face-to-face, it's not a date.

Gummy Panda

Yes I treat them mean to keep them keen.

Nothing better then a clothes peg on the clit

busman

Tucker Max is da man!

http://www.tuckermax.com/

Just finished reading his book Assholes Finish First
Very entertaining read.

SparkyTech

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

What other kind of dating is there? If it's not face-to-face, it's not a date.

Thats what im getting at, some people are now solely conducting their flirting and communication online/by phone after the first face to face encounter (I know 2 such couples)

Kevin Duffy

SparkyTech wrote: »

Thats what im getting at, some people are now solely conducting their flirting and communication online/by phone after the first face to face encounter (I know 2 such couples)

They are not couples if that's their only interaction.

SparkyTech

Redlion wrote: »

I hate all that ****e when your dating a girl.

I like it simple.We both have our separate lives, we ring each other without worrying about whether it's within the right time period(or if it's too much), we communicate like adults and we enjoy each others company. Honestly, that's what I believe an mature adult relationship to be.

Why should good things be ruined by over-thinking things and unnecessary drama?

Men should play hard to get too, ya know

AlmightyCushion

I prefer "treat 'em rough, get some muff". Works a treat.

beano345

i think some people play hard to get or act aloof to raise their own personal value or create a sense of mystery.the person chasing feels like they've earned that person or values them more,its an age old tactic,however i've seen this backfire when the person plays the hard to get card a bit too much and loses the interest of the chaser,especially when they realise what that person is doing it just looks like mind games.

i personally would have no time for the treat them mean keep em keen theory,i dont think i would have much respect for a person who does'nt have respect for themselves.

Professey Chin

I wouldn't even know how.Too soft for my own good at times

Tar.Aldarion

I dont think I could even try to. Im a nice boygirl

opinion guy

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

boygirl

.... birl ??
....goy ???

Tar.Aldarion

Boil :eek:

TheBucks

is there another way?

LighterGuy

Treat em' mean keep them keen....

Its true. Its just about to what level. Sure some guys can absolute dicks to girls but yet that girl keeps wanting that guy more. Thats the extreme side of the expression.
However, the saying is not meant to be taken literal in every case. For example, a guy pays for everything, does so many things, over all too nice will encounter a certain number of girls who get put off from that. He acted the wrong way. He was too nice. Theres a balance to everything.

For me, the most average meaning/use of that expression is to be bitter sweet. A nice guy, but an assertive guy ... dare I be honest a bit of a dick when need be. After all women can be unusal things.

super_furry

I follow the 'don't be a dick' philosophy. It's served me well.

--LOS--

For the people saying they don't coz they're too soft....'treat em mean, keep em keen' doesn't necessarily mean being a prick, just that you are purposely being a bit distant/aloof.......still utter bollix though.

Dangerous Man

No. I behave normally. I wouldn't want to be with a woman so fucking stupid that abuse or nasty behaviour actually makes her want me more. My philosophy is 'treat them nice... ehm... you'll get curry and rice.'

I haven't worked on it yet.

Contemplating Aristotle

SparkyTech wrote: »

'Playing hard to get', 'showing him/her what him/her is missing', 'sure arn't ye more desirable when your playing hard ball...', 'dont call him/her back for 3 days to look like your busy and unavailable, having a life' :rolleyes:

How many of us have seen/heard these phrases/paraphrases in modern filims, tv's, dramas and seen the attitude amongst our friends? If your into someone isn't better to go with the flow and meet up regularly, be honest with each other, then playing the aloof, detached card. Facebook has made unrequited love even more painful when you search (sorry, stalk your :P) potential new other half and see how 'fabulous' their amazingly busy life is, what with all those hip after work parties and cool friends/witty status updates (or not, as the case may be :pac:)

Has communication gone down the toilet in modern society that all our flirting has to be by virtual text and phone calls, in our reluctance to return face to face dating? And what is it with people playing hard to get moreso then not. Unless your needy, theres no need to keep the other person in the dark

In before...
'Id blast him/her with piss'
'Im very HARD to get...'
'Other witty innuendo pun...':P

This is the wrong approach to life, and to love. We must love those that we love because it is from the heart. We must be forthright in our journey through the cosmic significance that is love, and not play the hearts of others. Love is that which brings us to a state of being, a place we have not been before. It is the window to a new horizon, one which gives us much joy and happiness, and where we find the one we truly love, our kindred spirit.

One, in their quest for the heart which they so desire, and in their quest for the cosmic magnificence that is love, should not play with the hearts of their loved ones.

Do not play hard to get, for it may turn out that in the end, it is hard for you go get, and not a case of you been hard to find.

Snowie

nah i just shoot from the hip with filthy perverted and some what out ragous things that most people would never ask them but apprently my savy charm cheeky smile gets me away with most things...

OutlawPete

Can work for men, not for women - as lots of women are obviously attracted to the bastard type, the "bad boy". Men may sleep with a woman who is treating them "mean" but they would pretty quickly tell them to fcuk off if they persisted.

Pompey Magnus

Nope, I'm not so desperate as to want to trick someone into a relationship by showing them a false version of me in the hope that they will like it better. If a girl doesn't like how the real me behaves or treats her then that is fair enough, take the rejection and move on to find someone who does. Behaving otherwise with complicated mind games is just unfair on both parties.

Giselle

There's a big difference between not being clingy and being indifferent.

If you don't text or call for a week, I'll assume you aren't interested enough and move on. If you don't return a call within a day or two when I've missed you, you aren't interested enough and I'll move on.

Lifes too short for guessing and games.

Karona

I dont do the treat them mean keep them keen. If im interested, ill let you know that im interested.

alexa5x5

I doubt anyone has ever managed get into a relationship by playing games. Seems counterproductive and a waste of time to both parties to mess someone about when you really want to be with them.

Mickeroo

I always got the impression that "dating" isn't really the norm in Ireland anyway, more a "If I get really drunk I might get off with someone if I'm lucky" kind of culture :P

Fluorescence

No, cause I'm not an utter cunnt. I'm not clingy, but I won't act aloof/distant either. Though I am naturally quite introverted and come across as stoic to some, but I'm not playing games. I have no time for that crap.

stupidusername

Depends on what you class as a game. I'm not one for them at all, but I'd be fairly sure everyone ends up doing it at some point.

alexa5x5

Mickeroo wrote: »

I always got the impression that "dating" isn't really the norm in Ireland anyway, more a "If I get really drunk I might get off with someone if I'm lucky" kind of culture :P

Or 'Ill be at X on Saturday night with my mates, see you there?'

beano345

Mickeroo wrote: »

I always got the impression that "dating" isn't really the norm in Ireland anyway, more a "If I get really drunk I might get off with someone if I'm lucky" kind of culture :P

more drunkinly stumble into each other and hope for the best:D

Mickeroo

beano345 wrote: »

more drunkinly stumble into each other and hope for the best:D

The foundation of many a solid and happy marriage I'll wager.

Laika1986

Its all about the relationship status on facebook is soon to be more important that marriage.

ArtSmart

assuming you mean masochistic part of a sado-masochists, then yes.