Depressed

GT_TDI_150

People,

I'm not sure if 'Long Term Illness' is the correct location but here goes:

How do people deal when a member of the family is suffering from depression?

Since my wife gave birth to our 16month old she has been prone to mood swings, fatigue, hostility.... She was diagnosed as suffering from depression and having a low B12 level. She receives B12 injection but once these are stopped her levels drop again.

The result of this is a near constant bad/hostile mood, everything is questioned/challanged, she is constanly tired, could sleep any time of the day/night and sleep all day and night.

On top of this the small one isnt settling too good at night, so by the time I have him asleep, she is hanging tired and goes to bed.So there is little or no time to sit around and talk, not even to ask how the day went.

It seems that every suggestion I make about the small fella gets ignored.
If I say please dont give him X this afternoon to see if it affect his sleeping, he gets given X anyway.

I feel it is having a detrimental effect on our relationship, I'm not even sure how to describe how i feel ... the odd time when the mood is possitive we discuss 'more kids' which I was strongly for but ... at the moment ... I dont even want to think about going down that road. If things are this bad with one child what would it be like with 2 or more:eek:

I just dont know what to do ...

digme

GT_TDI_150 wrote: »

People,

I'm not sure if 'Long Term Illness' is the correct location but here goes:

How do people deal when a member of the family is suffering from depression?

Since my wife gave birth to our 16month old she has been prone to mood swings, fatigue, hostility.... She was diagnosed as suffering from depression and having a low B12 level. She receives B12 injection but once these are stopped her levels drop again.

The result of this is a near constant bad/hostile mood, everything is questioned/challanged, she is constanly tired, could sleep any time of the day/night and sleep all day and night.

On top of this the small one isnt settling too good at night, so by the time I have him asleep, she is hanging tired and goes to bed.So there is little or no time to sit around and talk, not even to ask how the day went.

It seems that every suggestion I make about the small fella gets ignored.
If I say please dont give him X this afternoon to see if it affect his sleeping, he gets given X anyway.

I feel it is having a detrimental effect on our relationship, I'm not even sure how to describe how i feel ... the odd time when the mood is possitive we discuss 'more kids' which I was strongly for but ... at the moment ... I dont even want to think about going down that road. If things are this bad with one child what would it be like with 2 or more:eek:

I just dont know what to do ...

Does she work? do you work?

GT_TDI_150

digme wrote: »

Does she work? do you work?

we both do ... I have my job, she mind the child

digme

maybe she needs to get out?
sitting around the house all day would make anyone feel the way she does.
I wouldn't call it an illness. Common sense .

Shane St.

have u thought about counselling perhaps. r are u afraid to even bring up the issue?

T2daK

get out of the house and make some friends to go out and have a drink with on a saturday night who wouldnt get depressed stuck inside all day.

being at home minding your child isnt a job its an 18 prison year sentence

fresh air can be sometimes the best medicine, and a few jars

0lddog

GT_TDI_150 wrote: »

.... She was diagnosed as suffering from depression and having a low B12 level. She receives B12 injection but once these are stopped her levels drop again....................

Read up on the symptoms of low B12 you will see that its no wonder she is the way she is.

Get medical advice, B12 depletion is not trivial

cakeisgood

Im sorry to hear about what you are going through but it sounds like your wife needs help. Perhaps gently suggest going to the doctor or councelling? Getting out and about can be difficult but in the long run it can benefit her. I have had a mental illness too and saw a councilor and she said to me when I feel bad to "force yourself to go for walk, even if its the last thing you feel like doing". I took her advice, and it wasnt a cure it certainly helped. Look after yourself too because it can be draining on people around the person too. You have to look after yourself to keep yourself in good mental health AND so you can support your wife. Good luck to both of you

sam34

digme wrote: »

maybe she needs to get out?
sitting around the house all day would make anyone feel the way she does.
I wouldn't call it an illness. Common sense .

the op clearly stated his wife was diagnosed with depression. please don't come on here attempting to invalidate a diagnosis made by a professional. we don't allow any medical advice here and that includes " it's not an illness "

edellc

I had a baby just over 9mths ago around 4-5 mths I started to feel really tired more than was normal with a baby, I was irritable and could sleep any time during the day if given the opportunity I went to the doctor who suggested some blood tests.
When the results came back I was diagnosed with an under active thyroid and started on medication
I respect your wife's doctors diagnoses, however depression is also associated with an underactive thyroid and so can a lack of B12
Is there anyway you can suggest she get some blood tests done with the doctor and get tested, underactive thyroids are quite common post pregnancy if not controlled it can be quite life debilitating however a simple test and a few months of seeing what meds work can make a world of difference

Symptoms of Hypothyroidism (An underactive thyroid)

fatigue, exhaustion
feeling run down and sluggish
depression
difficulty concentrating, brain fog
unexplained or excessive weight gain
dry, coarse and/or itchy skin
dry, coarse and/or thinning hair
feeling cold, especially in the extremities
constipation
muscle cramps
increased menstrual flow
more frequent periods
infertility/miscarriage

Mawbish

So sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. A new baby takes a period of adjustment well less sleeping hours for one thing! Its a huge emotional and mental upheaval which is exhausting on the mind and body. Different women react differently to labour, birth and caring for a new infant. It can be hugely overwhelming even for the most capable and unflappable woman.

Sounds like your partner may have a touch of post natel depression, I would suggest encouraging her to speak with female relatives or friends and her GP. There are mother and baby groups out there have a look online - a social outlet can be a huge boost for someone who may be feeling cooped up at home.

There is help out there - make contact and help your partner

For example - http://www.grow.ie/ Please feel free to call the GROW Infoline on 1890 474 474, or email us at info@grow.ie.

They have weekly meetings all over the country where people meet to talk and get things off their chest. Its for all areas of mental health difficulty and for those who are feeling isolated - be worth a look at online at the very least

Best wishes