Problem with a neighbour

Sesudra

I just had a big row with one of my neighbours and am looking for some general advice/thoughts on the whole thing!

about two years ago, me and the OH moved into our current house-its end of terrace,with a small backyard.the wall of the yard has a small opening in it,about the size of a catflap.We'd been there a few weeks when we noticed a cat was constantly coming in through the gap,using the yard as a toilet,and leaving again.we bought a potted plant and used it to block up the opening-all sorted,or so we thought.

we got a knock on the door a few weeks later,its the owner of the cat,a man in his mid 50s who lives about 6 doors down,asking us had we blocked up the opening.we said yes,because cats were coming in and messing the yard,was there a problem.he said there was,because his cat used our yard to climb over the rooves of the houses to get to his backyard,and now we'd blocked the opening,he had to let the cat in and out of the front door,which was very inconvenient for him and no-one who'd lived in our house before had ever had a problem with his cat.We said sorry but didn't think we should be cleaning up after his cat,he just said "Oh,right,fine" and walked off.

time passed and he said nothing,would give us dirty looks when he passed us but that was it.then tonight...

I was putting out the bins,and the guy passed me,with his cat.He asks me "So,is that hole still blocked?" and I said "yeah,sorry,there was just too much of a problem with cats using our yard as a toilet".He replies "Well its very inconvenient for me,having to let him in and out through the front door,very inconvenient"-at this stage,its cold,I'm in my slippers and tracksuit bottoms so I said "Well,if you're willing to come into the yard and clean up after the cat,we'll unblock it"-a bit snarky I know,but I just wanted to get in. yer man flipped, saying "you're nothing but an a***hole,you and your buddy you live with,the pair of you are a***holes and I can't wait for the day the pair of you move out and are gone from here".I couldn't believe it,so just said "Well,like we already said,we're not going to clean up after your cat and it was constantly using the yard as a toilet". "My cat would NEVER do that,it has all the facilities it needs at home.You two are nothing but f*ckers and I hope you never have to ask for a favour off me"

I said "well,I don't think we ever will,good night" and shut the door.I'm just so wound up about this,it was literally the third time I'd ever spoken to the man.Were we in the wrong?should I call up to him tomorrow to try and sort things or is he just a psycho and we should try and ignore him??I love living in this house and I hate to think someone is sitting six doors up hoping we move out!:(

eyeball kid

No you weren't in the wrong. Why should you have to allow access for his cat
in through your garden? Its his cat!

I'd ignore him, I'd imagine that what most people around there do.

tenchi-fan

Open up the hole again, but get a spud gun (;)) that won't kill the cat but will discourage it using your garden as a toilet.

jimmycrackcorm

Open up the hole...

Borrow a dog for a few days from a friend and leave in the back garden. Cat will get the message....

Or for the IT savvy of us - hook up an infra-red detecter and speaker to PC to trigger a dogs bark recording when it detects movement...

johnboysligo

tenchi-fan wrote: »

Open up the hole again, but get a spud gun (;)) that won't kill the cat but will discourage it using your garden as a toilet.

bad idea might open the op up to some form of animal abuse claims but there are commercial cat repellants and cats don't like the smell of some plants.

op its his cat and his problem. you have every right to protect your property from being crapped on by his cat. Id go so far as to buy a small tub of ready mix cement and using a small rock/brick to block the hole permanently.

hes not worth calling or trying to deal with again, if you rent you will probably move after a few years if you own he can and probably will give you scowling looks until hes blue in the face but his cat wont live as long as you.

If he says a word to you again that isn't an apology for insulting you and practically begging you to unblock the hole Id just say "sorry I don't have the time for you and your cat"

Swampy

The cat is just lazy. What cat cannot climb a wall. And you neighbour has some cheek expecting you to give right of way to his cat. He's nuts to even ask you.

deisemum

Stand your ground, I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the neighbours know what he's like. Just ignore him.

I've got cats and they can climb over walls without any problem.

Let him put a cat flap in his door then he wont have to be getting off his arse to let the cat in our out.

Miss Fluff

Cats are smart, it will find an alternative way.

This plonker is trying to use bully-boy tactics. Don't back down. Don't engage in dialogue where possible. Make a note of any harassment (which verbal abuse like that is) and then take it further if necessary.

Pebbles68

What a cheek. It's his cat and you are not responsible for it. He lives 6 houses down the street and he's trying to tell you what to do in your garden. It's easy to say it but try and ignore him. I wouldn't even engage in conversation. Lets face it, any communication between you is only going to annoy you and if he's only going to resort to personal insults why bother?

Bloody Nipples

I'd block the hole with polyfiller or something to permanently wreck his day even if you do move.

Sesudra

Such a relief to know we're not the crazy ones! Like other posters have said, other neighbours cats are up and around the walls constantly, no bother to them and this fellas cat was the only one that ever used it as a toilet.I'll just ignore him from now on, and if he does ever bring it up again, I'll ask for an apology for his behaviour last night before I'll speak to him

runswithascript

Swampy wrote: »

The cat is just lazy. What cat cannot climb a wall. And you neighbour has some cheek expecting you to give right of way to his cat. He's nuts to even ask you.

Hear, hear!

WTF is wrong with his cat that it can't climb a wall, tree, fence or whatever. Cats we had growing up were like Spiderman.

tinkerbell

Your neighbour sounds insane. The cat is his responsibility, not yours. Block up the gap permanently.

Daisy M

The guy is a bully who is used of getting his own way, dont let him get to you, you have done nothing wrong.

nesbitt

+1 about your neighbour being a bully.

The previous owner must have been bullied into making a cat flap for access by your neighbours cat.

Brick up the cat flap. If this man speaks to you, other than an apology, tell him that you do not want any conversation with him. Blank him completely and therefore ignore any dirty looks etc.

If you get an chance at all try and find out what the other neighbours think of him....

He is the one with the problem not you.

Sorry but his reason is that it is inconvenient for him to let his cat out his front door! So how is that your problem?:(

Suburban living is not easy.

bullvine

Ignore him or smile if he says anything more to you, people like this just look for a reason for a row, he wants you to say something, it will annoy him more if you dont answer him..

uch

I'd brick up the gap, tell him you've done it, then tell him to Fuk off, him and his Cat

Fentdog84

Is this man for real? Over a bloody cat..Must be like Robert de Niro's character in meet the parents. Ignore him, in fact if he says anything more to you, laugh in face and tell him what a silly man you think he is.

shellyboo

This dude's an eejit. Tell him to fit a bloody catflap ffs.

mikemac

The cat will find an alternative way.
Unless it's old and just not able to jump on walls

But if it's anyway fit it'll scale a wall somewhere and find another way.

You've handled yourself well anyway

spinandscribble

If he wants to let his cat wander thats his business but he shouldn't lie to your face, saying his cat isn't going out for a pee/poo when he clearly knows thats what's up. its probably that he doesn't like it ****ting in his yard and that hole didn't get in the wall by accident.

Just ignore him and block the wall for good. No need to explain why anymore to him ect, just ignore him. sounds like a lazy person that doesn't know the first thing about animals.

Resend

Sesudra wrote: »

I just had a big row with one of my neighbours and am looking for some general advice/thoughts on the whole thing!

about two years ago, me and the OH moved into our current house-its end of terrace,with a small backyard.the wall of the yard has a small opening in it,about the size of a catflap.We'd been there a few weeks when we noticed a cat was constantly coming in through the gap,using the yard as a toilet,and leaving again.we bought a potted plant and used it to block up the opening-all sorted,or so we thought.

we got a knock on the door a few weeks later,its the owner of the cat,a man in his mid 50s who lives about 6 doors down,asking us had we blocked up the opening.we said yes,because cats were coming in and messing the yard,was there a problem.he said there was,because his cat used our yard to climb over the rooves of the houses to get to his backyard,and now we'd blocked the opening,he had to let the cat in and out of the front door,which was very inconvenient for him and no-one who'd lived in our house before had ever had a problem with his cat.We said sorry but didn't think we should be cleaning up after his cat,he just said "Oh,right,fine" and walked off.

time passed and he said nothing,would give us dirty looks when he passed us but that was it.then tonight...

I was putting out the bins,and the guy passed me,with his cat.He asks me "So,is that hole still blocked?" and I said "yeah,sorry,there was just too much of a problem with cats using our yard as a toilet".He replies "Well its very inconvenient for me,having to let him in and out through the front door,very inconvenient"-at this stage,its cold,I'm in my slippers and tracksuit bottoms so I said "Well,if you're willing to come into the yard and clean up after the cat,we'll unblock it"-a bit snarky I know,but I just wanted to get in. yer man flipped, saying "you're nothing but an a***hole,you and your buddy you live with,the pair of you are a***holes and I can't wait for the day the pair of you move out and are gone from here".I couldn't believe it,so just said "Well,like we already said,we're not going to clean up after your cat and it was constantly using the yard as a toilet". "My cat would NEVER do that,it has all the facilities it needs at home.You two are nothing but f*ckers and I hope you never have to ask for a favour off me"

I said "well,I don't think we ever will,good night" and shut the door.I'm just so wound up about this,it was literally the third time I'd ever spoken to the man.Were we in the wrong?should I call up to him tomorrow to try and sort things or is he just a psycho and we should try and ignore him??I love living in this house and I hate to think someone is sitting six doors up hoping we move out!:(

tell him to go and fcuk off

Otis Driftwood

Resend,if you dont have anything helpful to add then dont bother contributing to these threads at all,thats the only warning.

Resend

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

Resend,if you dont have anything helpful to add then dont bother contributing to these threads at all,thats the only warning.

in what way is it not helpful? that is what i would do and what others have suggested

I'd brick up the gap, tell him you've done it, then tell him to Fuk off, him and his Cat

post 17 did that get a warning? if not why not?

Otis Driftwood

I missed that post however it goes for everyone.There is a certain level of appropriateness expected in this forum.

Resend

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I missed that post however it goes for everyone.There is a certain level of appropriateness expected in this forum.

ok fair enough but do you see what i mean? Why go to the trouble of trying to communicate with such an ignorant person? I would tell him that and if he was abusive as a result of my not providing a toilet for his cat would report him to the gardai

tbh

OP I'm guessing you posted in this forum because the situation is so absurd, you can't be sure that you haven't missed something. Well let me add my voice to the chorus - yer man is an idiot, you were perfectly reasonable and you shouldn't waste any more time thinking about it.

dellas1979

Sesudra wrote: »

and if he does ever bring it up again, I'll ask for an apology for his behaviour last night before I'll speak to him

Do you think a man that gets that mental over his cat using your garden as toilet facilities is going to apologise to you?

The cat thing is on the sideline now after the row. If you want to move on from this, if he talks, smiles, grunts etc at you, just nod your head or whatever. You are certainly not going to be the one to get the better of this old codger.

Pick and choose your battles girl - this aint one of them.

calex71

I lol'd when I read that the guy had the audacity to call you an ar**shole

Ignore him OP , people like this tend to be tolerated by most people for the sake of a quiet life. Which I'm 100% certain is the case with the rest of your neighbours, I'm sure they have the same high opinion of him as you do :rolleyes:

Tell him you bricked up the hole and that the new dog you got bites

Elle Collins

OP you sound like a very nice person who's probably a bit too sensitive for their own good! I mean that in the nicest possible way. I know the f-off advice isn't welcome on this thread but I have to tell you that's the first thing I would have said in your shoes, without a doubt, my vocal cords would have worked on their own there, ha ha!

The best thing you can do is ignore him, and really, try to cultivate an attitude that couldn't care less what someone six doors up is thinking. That is the adult advice - now for the infantile: If you're ever in the mood of stirring things up for a bit of free entertainment you could always get hold of some literature about responsible pet ownership from the Blue Cross and put it through his letterbox. Or get your wheelie bin covered with cutsie pictures of cats.. Or tell him "Miaaoww" on your way past.. I think in that situation I'd just turn it into a laugh, getting a bit of a rise out of him, the oul bollocks.

chloek

I read that and laughed, OP your neighbour is obviously not well if he thinks you should babysit his cat. I can understand you want to get on with the neighbours but come on he is unreasonable.

It is a cat, they can climb.

blackbird98

lmao.....can't believe the mentality of that guy!!

tell him to fcuk off and bore a hole i his own wall!!!

Juicyfruit

He's angry about this because it's an incovenience for him to have to keep letting the cat out the front door. Well boo hoo for him, that's not your problem.

He chose to have a cat, not you.

You're right, no two ways about it. Don't let him bully you, it's your house, your garden. End of story.

igas

I never saw a cat that couldn't climb a wall!! Sounds like a lad that has a problem with everyone so tell him where to go! Why cant he put a cat flap on his own door if he's too lazy to open the shaggin door!!! He's just a crank and if it wasnt the cat it would be something else.

Lorrrrraine

He could get a cat flap very easily. Anyway, how much gallivanting is his cat doing that opening the door is problematic? Surely he's not up every ten minutes. Also, I'm surprised that the cat hasn't found an alternative route or can hop the fence. He sounds like he just wanted to start a row over anything.

mariebeth

If it is that incovenient to get up and open a door for his cat, then he shouldn't have one.

Ignore him OP, that's all you can really do, besides knowing that you're in the right here, not him.

pajodublin

why cant he just put a cat flap on his front door
problem solved!!

Fea.

You know, out of all the threads I've read on boards.ie I have to say, this one has been the absolute highlight. The tears of laughter are pouring down my face here, the replies are just as hilarious, if not more, as the OP's predicament.

I mean seriously everyone, wouldn't this make the ultimate comedy sketch????

Priceless... Brilliant... Excellent...

Thanks so much for absolutely cheering up my whole day, I love it....

xxx


PS.... Kids water gun from the window works too ...