Clinging on

Quatro24

Hope ye dont mind me posting this here, I know it may be more suited to PI but iv seen so many people get ripped to shreds there.

I have been in a lesbian relationship for the past 2years and we r living together with about 10months.
To keep it short I feel my gf has lost complete interest.
She has to travel a lot for work and is not happy in her job, I am also not happy in my job. I wanted to emmigrate but for various reasons she cannot go. I made the decision to stay as I am completely in love with her.
I never saw myself ever coming out of the closet but with her I was just so happy I decided to.

Its kinda hard to explain but it feels like she has totally gone off me.
She always says I am the best looking girl she has ever ben wid and is still very sexually attracted to me but it really doesn feel like it (and obv looks arent everything even if she does feel this way).
Our sex life is barely existant - I put this down to her being tired from so much travelling. We 'broke up' about 2 months ago and it lasted 3 weeks.
I fear now tho that I pushed her back into this relationship.
She says she wud b lost without me and cant imagine not being with me and thats y she got back with me but at present I never know what to expect.
The last few nights she has gone to bed and I have just sat up for hours thinking what am I doing and even thinkin 'should I even be following her into the same bedroom'

I know as such I am answering my own qs in this thread but I suppose I just wanted to talk to someone as most of my friends r straight and sometimes I feel they dont understand d strong connection I have with this girl and how it will seriously break my heart to walk away even if it is the right thing to do.

Aishae

hi Q i think you really need to talk with each other - tell her how you feel things have been going. maybe she will not have realised how you feel, maybe shes noticed things change too or maybe shes just not having a good time of it with work and possibly family or worries about the future etc. but you wont know unless you talk to each other. it may really help to get it out in the open.

Quatro24

Thanks for your response Aishae.
I prob shud ave mentioned early that when we had that break we did do a lot of talking. I explained how I loved her now more than I ever did and she claimed all that was wrong with me was that I wasnt used to rejection. She became very cold and inconsiderate. It even seemed when we got back together that perhaps she was only doing it cos I started tellin people and she thought I would go off with someone else. Its like as if she didn really know wat she wanted. Having said this I genuinely thought given time we wud be ok.
Wen we are good we r good lik, its just those days seem to be getting less and less.
Any time I bring it up now that we need a talk or watever she accuses me of being clingy and that I have changed. She said she rathered me when I was cooler about things, when I would go out a lot more with my mates and not be bothered if i did summit to annoy her.
Like I thought its better that the more in love iv found myself that im more sensitive and weary of her feelings.
I dunno, she just gets cross all time so easily so im half afraid to say anything. Then I end up crying which makes her even worse!
I started crying the other night and she just got annoyed and walked off.
Thats not d person who I fell in love with who wud at least give me a cuddle!

Sorry I am rambling a bit! Thanks again for responding hun.

Aishae

you sound emotional - (but who isnt to some extent?) - but at the same time your gf does seem to be having issues with SOMETHING. perhaps the issue is your relationship, in that she genuinely doesnt know what to do with it. or like i said maybe its work etc. however you indicate she reacts badly to your emotions at the moment - perhaps something else is getting at her but its easier for her but she thinks its the relationship thats bothering her. a transference type thing.
i have to wonder though - if she cant confront the less happy emotions - if she's feeling alright in herself.

to be fair - to look at both sides of the coin - i should ask if maybe you read too much into what she does. as the breakup is still fresh in your memory, you're afraid she will walk for good. and if thats the case then picking everything that happens apart will only be detrimental.
its easier said than done to get back to the place where you were happy, i know

Moon Indigo

Hi just read your post hope you don't mind me replying. Is this the first relationship for both of you? Could it be that your in that scary place of really realising after the break how deep you feel for your gf?
Dont pull your self apart but try take a deep breath and maybe take a step back. Sometimes when you are in the thick of a situation it can seem ten times worse.

I would also say trust your instinct in that if you truly feel something is amiss don't ignore it. If its something she is going through tell her your arms are always open and when or if she wants to talk you are always there. Sometimes the more you push or examine every little thing your gf does the more you will find and therefore result in a mountains out of molehills.

Its important for you to try to stay strong and keep your self together as much as you can. If something is wrong with her she might just need your strenth and you can't do that if you fall apart.
I really hope things work out. All the best.