Appropriate value for a present?

Einhard

Hey all,
Two good friends are getting married in Italy next month, and I was wondering what people think is the appropriate spend for a present. I'm unemployed at the moment, so can't really afford a huge amount (plus, getting to Italy will set me back a fair whack). Also, I've never been at a wedding before, so not sure if there are any rules of thumb etc.

Also, are presents out? I'd like to buy a present, as I think cash is too impersonal, but then again, I know many newly weds appreciate the financial boost.

So, what say you?

Cellygirl

Give what you can afford. There's no set amount. Particularly as you're travelling and spending money on hotels and stuff, the bride and groom will know it's expensive for you.

I'm married just seven weeks and we got lots of lovely presents - frames, wine glasses, beautiful steak knives, candles, a gorgeous linen tablecloth and matching napkins - as well as money and vouchers.

So there is no such thing as presents being 'out' and money being 'in' you know? People give a mixture of both.

If they're good friends, a present might be more personal, though do remember that your taste and your friends' taste might not be the same! So try to shop with them in mind!

I would think, considering you're travelling, that a gift worth €50-€100 absolute max would be extremely generous.

I generally give money when I go to weddings as I have extremely plain taste and never know what to buy and would hate to buy something that would end up in the attic. So we usually give between €100 - €200 cash depending on if it was a close friend or relative or something.

Just a tip - I'll stop waffling now, I swear - if you're giving a wrapped gift. Bring it up to them before the wedding, don't drag it to Italy and have them have to drag it back. You probably thought of that, but just thought I'd mention it.

lighterthought

I think the most important thing to keep in mind here is that you were invited to the wedding because the couple wanted you there. There is no pressure for gifts. Our maid of honour had to travel overseas for ours, and she didn't give us a gift (except singing a solo during the ceremony). I would have been mortified to think any of my guests felt pressure about gifts.

If you are strapped for cash, I think giving a lovely gift, rather than cash, is a good way to give something beautiful and meaningful, without having to reveal how much it cost you. Some of our favourite gifts were beautiful photo frames! They are easy to pack and you can find goooorgeous ones that dont cost much (I bought one for a friend last xmas that cost a tenner but looks very expensive). Other options in this area are crystal candlesticks or anything nice for the home. My brother gave us a nice bottle of wine!

You have lots of options. Maybe even asking the bride and groom if they would prefer if you send them their gift when they get home? This buys you time financially so you're not spending everything at once in Italy, and saves them the hassle of lugging it all home?