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Trying again ... insecure

  • 24-05-2011 09:21PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Recently got back in contact with an ex, well we never really lost contact, had a casual enough relationship a few years ago, never became too serious, down to both of us really but now it's more than 3 yrs later ... so one of our conversations a few wks ago became v serious & he basically confessed a load of feelings for me,asked wud i consider dating him again properly would i see him as a long term bf etc.Tbh although we had been in touch it came as a shock to hear him saying those things but I do have a soft spot for him,we get on great,we have amazing chemistry & being honest I would consider dating him. We met up last week just watched a dvd had a kiss,said we will sort out a proper date in a couple weeks (both unavailable for next few wkends) he wants to bring me on a proper date, spoil me and prove I can trust him..

    So here's my problem, which really boils down to my own insecurities/uncertainty about this whole situation.I came out of a v bad relationship last yr (he knows this) and he is out of a relationship since jan (which i know all about). I already told him it would take me time to know I could trust him (he accepts this) and he says that while he sees me as a longterm gf & someone he wud want his parents to meet he wants to take things slowly( I understand this).. I'm just afraid to get into this .. I really want to trust him 100% & am willling to be totally honest and open with him but I just need some reassurance that I can trust him & that he is not just taking me as 2nd best because he is out of a relationship(we have already addressed that q and he assures me it's nothing to do with that and that he really does want to be with me and it's something he has thought about for a long time).

    I'm usually really trusting with new bfs and wouldn't be insecure or worried in a new relationship if anything i'd be too trusting ... I think it's just because I knew him from before & I do want to believe everything he says but for some reason I need reassurance ....

    My question is do I say this to him or am I just gonna send him running if I do that considering we haven't even gone on our proper date yet .. like his heart to heart was really honest and open and he did tell me i could ask him anything but now i've had time to think about this i'm coming up with little insecurities or obstacles....


Comments

  • #2
    allovertheshop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 70 ✭✭allovertheshop


    you're not going to really know until you give it a shot...and if you don't you'll always be wondering what if?
    Maybe it will work, maybe it won't but you'll never know until you try. I know these all sound like cliches but it's true.
    You've both had the heart to heart, which indicates that you are able to talk about stuff, if it doesn't work out, the fact that you are able to talk about it souds as if you'll still be friends even if it doesn't work.
    it's hard when you've been friends with someone because maybe you'll think that if you break up you'll be loosing a friend and a BF at the one go but if you're open about everything and talk about it there's no reason that you'll not still be friends even if it doesn't work.

    go on the date, see how it goes and best of luck


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