Online friend

LegacyUser

2 weeks ago, joined on online friend/dating site. Got chatting to a guy, we work in similar jobs, neither of us have profile pictures.
Am resigned to the liklihood that if/when we do meet, it's highly unlikely there'll be chemistry in the "real world".
Has anyone met someone anonymously from online? Is it v awkward?

DangerMouse27

Ive had a couple of dates from a site, just got so paralysingly shy from years of working nites, i was better suited to online for a while.

Dates went ok,some disasters..for girls id say always have a get away plan, maybe have a friend call you twenty minutes in so either ways you can be clear if your not enjoying yourself. There are prob alot of guys on them primarily for sex so keep your wits about you and set the standard for how you want it to go.

confuseddate

confuseddate wrote: »

Has anyone met someone anonymously from online? Is it v awkward?

Awkward at first but you get over it.
Wait and see how it goes, don't be massively optimistic or pessimistic

Count Duckula

I met my girlfriend "anonymously" online. Not through a dating website, but through World of Warcraft. Highly embarrassing, I know, but it all worked out for the best and we're together nearly a year now!

So give it a go - you might find you click with the other person. After all, they may just be as nervous and shy as you are.

Miss Fluff

Ooooh I've met lots of people from online sites. I've met the weird, the wonderful and downright deranged but it's all a bit of fun Keep an open mind and always tell someone where you're going. If you work in similar jobs that already gives you something to talk about. I'm curious as to why you haven't swapped pictures of one another? If you're going to agree to meet with him it would help to know that he's presentable looking/you find him attractive!

Snoopy1

Well if your going to meet with an attitude like that, then of course you wont feel any chemistry.

Ive been on loads of dates with guys i met on line, each one i approached positively. some dates were great, some were disasters, but an experience.
Ive been going out with my boyfriend for a year now and we met online.
Just go for it

andreac

I highly advise you to swap pics first before meeting. Why would you want to meet someone when you dont know what they look like?

If you meet someone out in a bar, club etc you know what they look like so why not do the same in this instance?

At least either of you wont be wasting each others time, as you will know if you are physically attracted at least.

Btw, ive done the online dating thing and always insist on a pic before chatting. No point going into it blind and not being in some way attracted to them physically, ie i wouldnt be mad on fellas with much hair, i like shaved or bald and if someone messaged me with longish hair i just wouldnt be attracted, but the same could be for other things you find attractive or not attractive about someone, so def look for pics first.

Kadongy

Count Duckula wrote: »

I met my girlfriend "anonymously" online. Not through a dating website, but through World of Warcraft. Highly embarrassing, I know, but it all worked out for the best and we're together nearly a year now!

So give it a go - you might find you click with the other person. After all, they may just be as nervous and shy as you are.

no that is not embarrassing, it is awesome

OP: It's not "highly unlikely" that the chemistry will translate at all. In fact, there is a 60% chance of chemistry translating, based on my orignal research on the topic. I would say that the deeper the attraction felt online, the more likely it is to translate. My advice would be to be ok about feeling awkward at first, and whatever you do, dont try to force it. In fact, in my research, the full 40% of failed translations involved the female candidate trying to force things.

Silverfish

Count Duckula wrote: »

I met my girlfriend "anonymously" online. Not through a dating website, but through World of Warcraft. Highly embarrassing, I know, but it all worked out for the best and we're together nearly a year now!

So give it a go - you might find you click with the other person. After all, they may just be as nervous and shy as you are.

I met my fiance 4 years ago on an IRC channel for Battlefield.
I'm only slightly embarrassed about it.

The first few minutes of meeting someone can be awkward, but to be fair, that can be true of meeting people anywhere.
You'll always find some topic to talk about, because it is a lot different chatting to people in real life than online, for some things online is easier and for others, real life is easier.

Just have a few set topics ready so if things do go quiet, you can start on those.
I'd advise as well that you don't meet them with a head full of hope that this will be IT, with music and fireworks, but rather you're meeting a friend who you already know how to talk to.

LegacyUser

Snoopy1, the only reason I'm coming across as approaching this "with an attitude" is precisely because we haven't exchanged photos. So understandably I'm a bit apprehensive about their being an amazing attraction between us when/if we do actually meet?! Hence I'm gearing up to thinking of this guy as a possible friend/acquaintance, and if anything else develops, great. I AM positive about things, but also realistic.
Should really swap pictures, just we both started messaging anonymously& it's kind of become a running joke. Also, I'm a few months out of a LTR, & I'm conscious that it was a "serious relationship"& some guys would be freaked out by that(especially as we're likely to have mutual pals). Hence I'd prefer to have the chance to have my true personality shine first, versus other peoples' gossip.
Anyway, it'll be an adventure if nothing else I guess!

squonk

Hi OP! yes, do swap pictures before you meet. I'm actually coming around to the view that swapping photos should be one of the first things you do after an hello email. You can get on great with someone on a 1-1 basis over messages but if the physical attraction isn't there then it'll count for nothing. Pictures aren't everything though and you'll only ever really know by meeting up.

Don't take the meet up too seriously. Frankly it is what it is, a chance to get a face to face and see how you get on. Don't expect fireworks as was said earlier. I've done a few meetups and a lot of them weren't great. The fact you've spoken so much already should give you plenty to talk about. Be relaxed and be yourself. I think you've the right attitude though so it's a great start.

I'll say it again though, do exchange photos beforehand. At best it'll calm the nerves a bit because you'll already know if there's an attraction and, from my own personal view, I'd feel bad wasting someone's time by meeting them and realising after 30 seconds that I'm never going to be physically attracted to them. That makes everything far more awkward so do yourselves a favour and swap asap.