Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

can I trust him?

  • 24-05-2011 2:58am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey guys,

    Going unreg for this. I've been going out with my OH for quite a few years. He has cheated on me in the past, but I managed to forgive him but not quite forget. Tonight I came home and checked his facebook. Normally, I wouldn't do this, but I was slightly suspicious, for no apparent reason, which in itself doesn't really bode well. I checked his messages, and basically there's one to a random girl asking her out, and apologising in case he came across as a creep. I challenged him on it, and he's still a bit drunk, and said that he was messaging her for a friend. I went a bit mental, and I don't really think that I can continue with this rubbish after he promised it would never happen again, but I'd like some objective opinions as to if anything can be salvaged. I know I can be tough work at times with my moods, and he has a very very stressful job where cheating on OHs seems to be somewhat normalised. He is a great guy, and would do anything for me, but a number of random people, including one of his tutors, have asked me why I'm going out with him which leads to believe that he hasn't been entirely truthful with the extent of his cheating in the past. We have broken up before, but we have always got back together. However, neither of us has family nearby, and we have come to rely on each other for support, which may be why we've stuck together for so long. We would both be considered somewhat eccentric by our friends, due to our values and opinions, and if he was completely upfront with the extent of his cheating, and even came up a somewhat valid reason for it, I think I could eventually understand and rationalise it, but when it's done behind my back, it makes it so much worse. Does anyone know whether this might be a communication problem, or a compatability problem?


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,262 ✭✭✭✭Joey the lips


    Your asking and answering this question at the same time. Its only you can really know if he is worth working at but tbh reading your side i dont think you will last.

    Having said that i have seen relationships struggle on in these situations but i would say once trust is gone you have nothing and the fact you needed to check his facebook account is lack of trust. Additionally when he is contacting someone on facebook its his profile he is sharing unless he says its a friend which judging from your description he has not.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    OP, he's playing you for a fool and has you thinking that it's your fault!!

    Stop making excuses and leave the guy ASAP.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    "Messaged her for a friend?"

    Is he 14?

    No. He's a liar. Dump him and be glad you're done with him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 237 ✭✭greengiant09


    the truth is so blatantly obvious in this case you'd have to be an idiot not to see it.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

    I don't think you buy the excuse of him messaging this girl on behalf of his friend either. Otherwise you'd not be posting here. I'm also picking up that although you know in your heart and soul that he's cheating, you're trying to rationalise it in some way and come up with excuses. All the pieces of the puzzle are there in front of you but you are unwilling to put them together.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement