guy in work..

Meowth

hello all,
this is a really long story and i'll try keep it brief ...
ok so i'm 17 years old (girl) and my dilemma started about 8 months ago ... i've been working in my job for over a year. One day on facebook however my manager chatted me just general chat lik ... and i'm positive then he had no interest in me as i had no interest in him... he is 27 years old. he started to chat every so often maybe once or twice a week on fb .. we got on really well and it was only ever friendship at start.. but about a month after chatting he starting flirting and stuff... calling me pretty, tell my my profile pic was lovely etc.. and it was only light flirting and i usually ignored it, thinking it was way too innappropriate ... but then i began to like him... something i thought would never happen...
so i started flirting back ... and we did web sex things later on .... and pics ... i feel stupid for doing stuff like this ... but i dont regret it.
i really began to think he liked me... because he stared at me in work, would come up really close to me when talking to me, called me by a special nickname he gave me, and that sweet huge smile when he saw me, was be concerned for me when i was sick and notices when i wasnt at work he also suggested meeting up :O etc
but now he has a girlfriend ... who also works with us.. and i always knew he liked her, that wasnt the surprise... but i found out when they were getting together he was still flirting with me , doing the web sex thing!! so is this cheating ?
i feel upset, and angry !! i really like him... and i know we have something special but why did he do all this to me ?? why did he ever start talking to me?? why did he start flirting ?? Did he ever really like me or just having fun ???and what do i do now ??
sorry bout this being long, this is a serious issue... please i dont want anyone telling me i've been very stupid, i know that
thanks advice wanted

MagicMarker

You don't have anything special. What you do have is a manager who was acting completely inappropriately towards a member of his staff. And that's not even taking into account the age thing. You say this started 8 months ago, were you 16 or 17 then?

The man sounds like a loser, I'd stay well clear.

Kimia

Oh you poor thing. You really have been taken on a bit of a rollercoaster here. He played you, plain and simple. He liked the attention from a young girl and yes, if he still does the web cam stuff I would consider that cheating. A good way to guage cheating is to think 'Can he do this stuff in front of his girlfriend' or vice versa for yourself. You'll quickly realise what's appropriate and what's not appropriate.

I think he took advantage of your naivety tbh, although I am aware that you may look and act a bit older than you are. Still though I'd be uncomfortable with his in a position of authority doing this with you when he's aware of your age etc.

Try and stay away from him. You did nothing wrong - you thought a guy liked you and you liked him back. Now he's got a girlfriend so it's simple - you go back to being professional and stop chatting with him on FB etc. Leave it go completely and do not be sucked back in, for the sake of your own self-respect.

Meowth

Kimia wrote: »

Oh you poor thing. You really have been taken on a bit of a rollercoaster here. He played you, plain and simple. He liked the attention from a young girl and yes, if he still does the web cam stuff I would consider that cheating. A good way to guage cheating is to think 'Can he do this stuff in front of his girlfriend' or vice versa for yourself. You'll quickly realise what's appropriate and what's not appropriate.

I think he took advantage of your naivety tbh, although I am aware that you may look and act a bit older than you are. Still though I'd be uncomfortable with his in a position of authority doing this with you when he's aware of your age etc.

Try and stay away from him. You did nothing wrong - you thought a guy liked you and you liked him back. Now he's got a girlfriend so it's simple - you go back to being professional and stop chatting with him on FB etc. Leave it go completely and do not be sucked back in, for the sake of your own self-respect.

thank you ... it will be hard to avoid him in work but i'll try .. thank you

Meowth

MagicMarker wrote: »

You don't have anything special. What you do have is a manager who was acting completely inappropriately towards a member of his staff. And that's not even taking into account the age thing. You say this started 8 months ago, were you 16 or 17 then?

The man sounds like a loser, I'd stay well clear.

yeah i was 16 for most part of this he's got a rep to be honest ...

Firetrap

I think you've gotten the message now that he behaved in a totally inappropriate fashion and probably took advantage of your naivety. Hope you don't take too much umbrage at that comment

As for what to do - get your working relationship back onto a strictly professional one. If he flirts, don't flirt back. Block him on Facebook chat so you won't appear online to him, don't text. Be polite and pleasant but don't be over-friendly.