How do i go about changing (a court arranged) custody arrangment?

strega1679

Hi
I need some help!

I have been seperated from my son(now 10yrs old) since he was only a few months old. We have always had the arrangment of half the week with his father n the other half with me.
When i went back to work i asked his father to help, so he took him extra days when needed, and i coverd creche costs and money for anything he needed while at his dads.when i finished up at work we then went to court to 'legalise' our arrangement so each of us would know where we stood, this was not a problem for me as i felt we should both have legal rights and access to our son.
My sons father is trying to be a good dad, he is settled down and has recently had two new children with his partner. But for a number of years now my son has been unhappy going to stay at his fathers each week. He has mentioned to myself and his school that his fathers girlfriend has hit him, and when this was brought to his fathers attention he denied it ever happened. Our son has also shown behavioural issues in school, which have caused him to be seen by a child play therapist, the school councilor and the school educational therapist. He is an incredably bright child but his behaviour is holding him back.
He has said many times that he wants to live with me full time and he gets very upset when i tell him that he has to see his dad, as it is best for him to have a relationship with his dad, his partner and his two sisters.
His father has gotten aggressive and hostile before when i have mentioned this saying that he provides a better and more stable family for him than i do ( as i have gone back to college to get a degree, which he see's as selfish of me) and will not agree to what our son wants.
This is a very difficult situation as i want my son to have a good relationship with his father as well as his sisters!!

I would be grateful for any help or advise.
thank you.

Spear

Moved from N&F.

Local mods, please note the original wording of this was asking for legal advice initially.

strega1679

i ment to say advice from someone who has been through the legal system with a similar situation.
sorry and thanks.

Morag

If you think that he is being hit by the partner of his Dad then talk to the Dad about it.
If it happens again then you can go and make a report under the child protection act and have socail workers call around.

You need to start compiling a diary of what is happening and how it it effecting him and then go back to court and get a visitation variance order.

Sleepy

OP - have yourself and your son's father agreed standardised rules and punishments?

Is it possible that your son favours being with you because his father is stricter etc.?

strega1679

@Sharrow
i have spoken to his father about it n he brushed it off n said that he gave her permission, if our son is out of line. Then later he denied it ever happened and said that whatever goes on at his home is nothing to do with me.
I have taken this to the attention of the school and they are keeping an eye out for him aswell.

strega1679

@Sleepy
yes we did, physical punishment was never agreed.
it is possible that is the case, but i have rules at my home too and assertive discipline, never hitting.