How to describe the ladies.... or laddies..

thehairyelbow

Apologies if anything like this has been mentioned before. It's a boring Sunday, with a grade six hangover, the weather is crap and the world didn't end.... yet.

Mate of mine and myself in the pub last night were discussing a certain RTE female personality. He came out with what I thought was a peach.

"Chrisht I'd walk seven miles backwards and barefoot over broken glass just to stick a matchstick in that one's sh1te".

Anyone got other interesting ways of describing the objects of their drunken desire?

Claasman

a fine specimen

hatrickpatrick

"Wetser" is the most common atm.

RichieC

thehairyelbow wrote: »

"Chrisht I'd walk seven miles backwards and barefoot over broken glass just to stick a matchstick in that one's sh1te".

Anyone got other interesting ways of describing the objects of their drunken desire?

I've used that one before

OutlawPete

I'd ride her like Seabiscuit.

Sinfonia

A big dirty ride.

A big, gigantic, dirty, filthy, nasty, disgusting, smelly, covered-in-muck, repulsive, size-of-a-blue-whale, unhygienic, foul, ****-stained ride.

thehairyelbow

Sinfonia wrote: »

A big dirty ride.

A big, gigantic, dirty, filthy, nasty, disgusting, smelly, covered-in-muck, repulsive, size-of-a-blue-whale, unhygienic, foul, ****-stained ride.

Classic

DWCommuter

The best or maybe worst, I've ever heard was;

"I'd gargle her diarrhea."

Seriously.

Chris P. Bacon

Id use her shit as toothpaste,is a very popular one in Waterford.

Larianne

Could you put a warning on the title of this thread..

TaraFoxglove

My friend if she likes a guy's voice:

"His voice is so hot. I'd so sit on his voice's face."

AhSureTisGrand

I'd let her shyte in me tae

OutlawPete

I'd suck the farts out of her arse .. and hold them like a bong hit.

TaraFoxglove

This thread proves that people are eejits because they continue to put other people on pedestals.

I'm not sayin' I'm any different, mind.

Dj

OutlawPete wrote: »

I'd suck the farts out of her arse.

Was just about to post that, my friend uses it the whole time

SadieSue

A lot of people have a fascination with poo :pac:

Mint Sauce

From, 'definatly would' to 'not even with yours'.

Chris P. Bacon

"Id ate chips outa her knickers"

"Id suck on her used tampon like a lollipop"

thehairyelbow

Chris P. Bacon wrote: »

"Id ate chips outa her knickers"

"Id suck on her used tampon like a lollipop"

Love it...... ya sick fu**er!

TheZohanS

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

This thread proves that people are eejits because they continue to put other people on pedestals.

I'm not sayin' I'm any different, mind.

Couldn't agree more. I know it's only a laugh but I don't think a girl would ever come out with the sort of comments(about a guy) that we've had on this thread.

TaraFoxglove

TheZohan wrote: »

Couldn't agree more. I know it's only a laugh but I don't think a girl would ever come out with the sort of comments(about a guy) that we've had on this thread.

And the people put on those pedestals would soon be knocked off them once they show any sign of human fallibility.

OutlawPete

I'd carbonate her piss and drink it like champagne.

B_Fanatic

"I'd go to jail for the things I'd do to her."

Kevin Duffy

I like to whisper discreetly to a nearby friend, "Oh my, that young lady is rather attractive, don't you agree?".

Of course, what I'm thinking at the time is not fit for print.

Mint Sauce

I'd tap that.

Karona

I'd give him a go or three

or

I wouldnt kick him out of bed for crumbs in it.

Micky Dolenz

She is no show pony but I'd ride her around the house.

Big Nasty

You'ld need a Massey to pull me off her!:pac:

Capt'n Midnight

Marks out of ten ?

I'd give her one.

McChubbin

She has a face like a painter's radio.

Capt'n Midnight

SadieSue wrote: »

A lot of people have a fascination with poo :pac:

Coprophilia

Just remember that between a quarter and half the dry weight of feces is composed of bacteria.
http://www.ams.ac.ir/aim/0034/asl0034.html

partyndbs

Some fly weird sayings in in the bogs/ ghettos of Ireland. In were I live u just say I'd lash her out of it wetser damper etc.

TaraFoxglove

McChubbin wrote: »

She has a face like a painter's radio.

Um, isn't that to do with bukkake? So would it not be "I'd like to leave her with a face like a painter's radio"?

Kevin Bacon

Well one for the ladies to use,

"I'd suck him off like a dog eating a bag of hot chips"

(Although you wouldn't use this if yo were a lady of course)

SadieSue

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Coprophilia

Just remember that between a quarter and half the dry weight of feces is composed of bacteria.
http://www.ams.ac.ir/aim/0034/asl0034.html

Oh god the horror!

Kevin Duffy

McChubbin wrote: »

She has a face like a painter's radio.

If she has a face like a painter's radio when you first see her, either you've taken the wrong door, or you should give her a wide berth.

Saila

Id fook her with someone else's dick

OutlawPete

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

Um, isn't that to do with bukkake?

Yeah, the Beatles wrote a song about it:

"Come together, right now .. over me."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axb2sHpGwHQ

TaraFoxglove

OutlawPete wrote: »

Yeah, the Beatles wrote a song about it:

"Come together, right now .. over me."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axb2sHpGwHQ

Those rogues.

Being rich and famous, they probably had girls queuing up to be bukkaked by a Beatle.

Micky Dolenz

TaraFoxglove wrote: »

Those rogues.

Being rich and famous, they probably had girls queuing up to be bukkaked by a Beatle.

Beetlejuice?