Could we be friends eventually?

singleindub

I went on a date with a guy I had liked the though of for ages. We had a great first date though despite my best intentions ended up staying at his. He seemed really interested and we met up a few times more. He text the other day saying he didn't think he wanted anything at the moment but was did like me and was glad we had met up. I was a little upset at the time as felt he had perhaps just wanted one thing so sent him a not very nice reply. He has since assured me he wasn't using me and I apologised for being harsh. Obviously not going to get in touch with him again now but after a few months could it be possible to be friends? He seemed like a great guy and we did have a lot of fun together or am i just using this as a way to feel better that I won't see him again now?

shellyboo

Why is that you want to be friends with him? If it's in the hope of something more, then forget it, that'll only end in tears.

Otherwise, I can't really see the appeal in being friends with someone who rejected you romantically, except if they'd been my friend for years upon years.

singleindub

He just seemed like a nice person and I don't have that many male friends in Dublin. I wouldn't want anything to happen again romantically as think if that had been going to work it would have first time round!

shellyboo

singleindub wrote: »

He just seemed like a nice person and I don't have that many male friends in Dublin. I wouldn't want anything to happen again romantically as think if that had been going to work it would have first time round!

I dunno, just seems like an awkward situation to me. Personally, I'd avoid it and make some different friends. If you get back in touch with him, he might think you're trying to get stuck into him again... I just think it's probably not worth it, tbh.

Of course, it's your call. Just strikes me that it might be more hassle than it's worth!

singleindub

I wouldn't even consider it for a month or two so will see how I feel then.

Have a date tonight so maybe in a few months I won't be thinking about him at all, even as a friend

Thanks for your thoughts!

inexperienced

i dont think it's a problem to be a friend with a guy that you cant go further with (no matter who rejects whom) given that:

1. The one being rejected clearly have moved on and looking for someone else for romance.

2. THe one who rejects would not take advantage or send out mixed signals to wreck the other's head.

---

but what always happens is we deceive/ delude ourselves to be friends but indeed, we are emotionally tied with that person and cant move on.

but, i think you know yourself best.

and you need to bear in mind too that you liked him for a very long time, you might need more time to stay away from him to move on.

THINK FOR YOURSELF and dont hold onto him.

Because I was silly before and I hope people would not be as silly as me. It's really a waste the time!

Miss Fluff

I think you're fooling yourself that you just want to be friends with him. And I'm not sure why you'd want to be friends with someone who rejected you?

If you are in need of male friends in Dublin probably best that you don't sleep with them first tbh.

fghijkl

Miss Fluff wrote: »

If you are in need of male friends in Dublin probably best that you don't sleep with them first tbh.

Christ that's a bit preachy:rolleyes:...she was on a date, it's not a crime to sleep with someone on a first date:rolleyes:
she didn't just meet a "friend" and jump in the sack, it was a completely different scenario, don't think that comment was waranted at all, it has no relevance to the OP's problem tbh.

OP i think it depends on the guy in question tbh, some people have no problems remaining friends with ex bf's /lovers/one night stands, personally i fall into that bracket, have dates guys and ended up just remaining friends with them because it felt more like friendship on the dates than romance. Although in all cases it was a mutual decision that we wanted to end things.

If he ended things with you though i'd just be weary that maybe you just want to keep the emotional bond there because you really liked him.
I'd give it a few months though and see how you feel about it then, you might just need time to get used to the idea of not having him around, you may not even want to be friends with him in a few months. But if after a few months you decide you do want him as a friend and he's ok with it, then i say go for it, can't see any problem with it tbh

singleindub

Thanks fhijkl. I'll give it a few months and see how I feel. I def still like him too much at the moment. My friend just started seeing his friend so don't think will be able to avoid him forever but will give it my best shot for a good while!