Girlfriends not fancying their boyfriends, normal?

guitarzero

I was just recalling the time I was going out with an old X of mine, nice girl blah blah blah. But as time went on I began to wonder if she was actually physically attracted to me as she never mentioned or showed much, if any, signs of it. Of course some folks dont really voice what they think, I thought it was shyness or inhibition.
So eventually we were on FB and I noticed she made a comment of the like on her X's photos (no, this was not some SpyOp:)). It turned out she didnt really find me attractive but wanted to be with me as a girlfriend. She liked other qualities about me which was great but it was still strange to be with someone who wasnt physically attracted to me, as a man I couldnt really bend my mind around it.
I didnt have a good job, a nice car, not terribly tall or of high status.

So I'm just wondering is it normal for a woman to go out with a lad she doesnt find attractive? I sound like that wagon from sex and the city now!

Larianne

Are you rich?

Retr0gamer

Goldigga's! My favourite. Until they find out you lied and are really unemployed. Still a rides a ride.

ArtyM

Hung like a Donkey?

admiralofthefleet

are you female yourself?

The King of Moo

Your fly was open the whole time and that put her off.

Badgermonkey

guitarzero wrote: »

I didnt have a good job, a nice car, not terribly tall or of high status.

All's not lost.

Do you have a guitar?

guitarzero

Im not rich, who doesnt think theyre good in bed?:pac:

Console

Op,

if you date a women who doesnt find you attractive, or a women who doesnt connect with your personality (eg find you funny etc) its because she is only with you because you are better than nothing or better than whats currently on offer.

OutlawPete

guitarzero wrote: »

.. as a man I couldnt really bend my mind around it.

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

are you female yourself?

I am demoting you to privateofthefleet

guitarzero

Badgermonkey wrote: »

All's not lost.

Do you have a guitar?

Yes, my name gave it away. But it wasnt a feature 2bh

The King of Moo

It is a bit weird. Some people don't like to admit it, but physical attraction is hugely important for many.

guitarzero

Console wrote: »

Op,

if you date a women who doesnt find you attractive, or a women who doesnt connect with your personality (eg find you funny etc) its because she is only with you because you are better than nothing or better than whats currently on offer.

Thing was, she was an absolute cracker

Larianne

guitarzero wrote: »

Thing was, she was an absolute cracker

She was, you weren't. (In her eyes)

Kojak

Console wrote: »

Op,

if you date a women who doesnt find you attractive, or a women who doesnt connect with your personality (eg find you funny etc) its because she is only with you because you are better than nothing or better than whats currently on offer.

Maybe you might also have some land with road frontage. Oh the women love road frontage.

Super-Rush

Maybe she was with you to make herself feel better. Plus you wouldn't have stolen the spotlight away from her. Some women be bitches. Thats life.

guitarzero

Larianne wrote: »

She was, you weren't. (In her eyes)

True, but she could have had any guy, I assure you. I guess I'm putting it to the women, is this normal? Or even somewhat understandable?

OutlawPete

Larianne wrote: »

She was, you weren't. (In her eyes)

Thats the OP's point and he's asking is that normal/common for girls to go out with guys that they don't particularly "fancy".

pragmatic1

Sometimes its hard to get out of a relationship. Stopped fancying my ex girlfriend about two months before I broke up with her.

Larianne

guitarzero wrote: »

True, but she could have had any guy, I assure you. I guess I'm putting it to the women, is this normal? Or even somewhat understandable?

OutlawPete wrote: »

Thats the OP's point and he's asking is that normal/common for girls to go out with guys they don't "fancy".

Well I guess so. Carla hardly fancies yer man Sarkozi? Although she is preggars now..

How old are you GZ?

Some girls just like having a boyfriend.. or being able to say they have a boyfriend.

guitarzero

Larianne wrote: »

Well I guess so. Carla hardly fancies yer man Sarkozi? Although she is preggars now..

How old are you GZ?

Some girls just like having a boyfriend.. or being able to say they have a boyfriend.

It was when I was in my mid 20's so it wasnt just for show or for some parading. I never really asked her whats she on, it just kinda died out. Thing is, I actually think I'm a good looking guy hahaha...

Console

GuitarZero,
I wouldnt even speak to this girl again.

guitarzero

Console wrote: »

GuitarZero,
I wouldnt even speak to this girl again.

Thanks Console, its one of those things where you have to laugh, or just be left confounded.

Larianne

Some girls are awful wenches. Simple as. :cool:

Console

guitarzero wrote: »

Thanks Console, its one of those things where you have to laugh, or just be left confounded.

Dont think about it too much.
Hell, even many a woman has said they didnt fancy their ex all because they currently werent with them / and especially if it ended bad. But Girls who did actually fancy during the relationship :rolleyes: ...
All you know is she is saying she never fancied you now so to hell with her

silverspoon

This seems strange to me. And what kind of b!tch tells her boyfriend that she's not attracted to him?

I think that maybe the attraction thing is somewhat less...visceral for a woman than a man. But that's my own observance, could be me obvserving the wrong people. That's not to say that I don't think women are really that bothered about being attracted to men physically, but that the whole physical wanting thing is slightly less fervent in women. Purely speaking for myself, while sex/attraction is hugely important for me, the urgency for sex isn't as strong as for men I've known - not the urge, but the urgency.

But it's just a different approach. Physical attractiveness is, let's all face it, pretty important on both sides. I don't understand people brushing off sex/attraction as a superficial issue - is it not kind of the cornerstone of an intimate relationship that goes beyond friendship? Sex is huge. So I can't understand why a woman would go out with a man to whom she's not attracted - why bother? Long story short, that girl was nuts and you're well shot of her. You deserve better than to feel like some sort of cuddle toy. Most women would be with people they were attracted to, and I think it's a pretty huge deciding element in choosing a boy/girlfriend, on both sides.

guitarzero

Console wrote: »

Dont think about it too much.
Hell, even many a woman has said they didnt fancy their ex all because they currently werent with them / and especially if it ended bad. But Girls who did actually fancy during the relationship :rolleyes: ...
All you know is she is saying she never fancied you now so to hell with her

Indeed, the lesson is to ask the lady before the nod of exclusive engagement "Do I make you horny baby!?!? DO I??"

2 stroke

This is something that has often bothered me. Women will arrange a second date with a guy they have already decided they don't want to bed. They just want to be taken out and paraded about a bit. This has nothing to do with age and more to do with an opportunity to wear that dress.

silverspoon

2 stroke wrote: »

This is something that has often bothered me. Women will arrange a second date with a guy they have already decided they don't want to bed. They just want to be taken out and paraded about a bit. This has nothing to do with age and more to do with an opportunity to wear that dress.

Maybe it's a case of the woman enjoying being chased and basking in being wanted, so that wanting becomes a secondary, if not incidental, concern.

Not saying women are generally like that, but it's not an impossible theory with respect to some...?

guitarzero

Honestly, trying to get my head around it gave me vertigo. I think her idea was that the physical aspect would grow/develope, as though I was waiting on her hormones to kick in at some point.

It became quite uncomfortable knowing that in essence you were the one with the fire but her being the giver while no flame in her. It puts you in that unfamiliar territory where you have look at something from a strange angle that brings you into focus, its very uneasy 2bh.

Its definitely one of those things in life where you thought you had an idea or had some grasp of what it means to be human and then ....voila!

stateofflux

look you were a doormat that put up with being treated like dirt...don't be a doormat...id say if you dumped her she would have got horny

guitarzero

stateofflux wrote: »

look you were a doormat that put up with being treated like dirt...don't be a doormat...id say if you dumped her she would have got horny