Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars

Blatter

Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.
"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.
"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.
"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."
He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.
But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.
As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.
Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.
But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.
His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.
Mr Smith, from Washington state in the US, kept quiet about his secret fetish for years, but agreed to be interviewed as part of a channel Five documentary into “mechaphilia”. He is shown meeting other enthusiasts at a rally in California
Talking about how his unusual passion developed, Mr Smith said: "It's something that grew as a part of me when I was a kid and I could not shake it.
"I just loved cute cars right from the beginning, but over the years it got stronger once I got into my teenage years and was my first having sexual urges.
"When I turned 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it.
"I didn't fully understand it myself except that I know I'm not hurting anyone and I do not intend to."
He added: "There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving.
"There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.
"As far as women go, they never really interested me much. And I'm not gay.”
Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html

WTF??

zuroph

That must've been exhausting.

Mrmoe

zuroph wrote: »

That must've been exhausting.

Certainly would be tyre-ing

The_Kew_Tour

Sucking diesel now I say

thehairyelbow

Sweet and gentle Jesus/Allah/Buddah... WTF???

westendgirlie

How do you have sex with a car ? :eek:

Micky Dolenz

Who doesn't like to take a car for a ride.

TheZohanS

zuroph wrote: »

That must've been exhausting.

I'd Seat was.

Kevin Duffy

In fairness, when I see a mini it does get me going.

Silverfish

I was at the Touring Car championships in Mondello.

I cannot judge this man. I can only envy him.

Biggins

westendgirlie wrote: »

How do you have sex with a car ? :eek:

Ya banger!

Jerrica

must have burnt a lot of rubber in his time

westendgirlie

Silverfish wrote: »

I was at the Touring Car championships in Mondello.

I cannot judge this man. I can only envy him.

No wonder you're a MOD of Personal Issues Forum

thehairyelbow

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

Calibos

He's gotta be takin' the pistons doesn't he??

Morlar

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

All it takes is Focus.

Benny_Cake

Airwolf...can you honestly say you wouldn't?

Biggins

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

Lift up her bonnet and fiddle underneath?

CrazyRabbit

Idiot. Everyone knows that vacuum cleaners give the best blow jobs.

Autosport

He better stay away from my Charlie :mad:

But a Lamborghini or Buggatti would turn my eye

kfallon

He had one favourite car that he fooked Rover and Rover

df1985

Cars are sluts it seems.

Calibos

I've heard of crankshaft....but shafting the crank????

Calibos

Gives new meaning to the phrase, "I gave her a re-spray" !!!

Calibos

His mates are now squirming after realising what he really meant when he said, "Do ya want to take her for a test drive"

Morlar

Quite the kwik-fitter wasn't he.

Shane St.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

TheZohanS

Morlar wrote: »

All it takes is Focus.

Yeah but you have to be Smart and Impreza first...well Datsun if she has Class...if she doesn't you'd better Holden because she might be a Hummer.

Mrmoe

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

Wheelie, wheelie carefully.

Herbie rides again, eh?

Mayo Exile

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

Via the exhaust pipe?????????

Giselle

Mayo Exile wrote: »

Via the exhaust pipe?????????

I finally figured out what auto-eroticism is.

thehairyelbow

Mayo Exile wrote: »

Via the exhaust pipe?????????

F**k it. I'm gonna give it a go.......

Biggins

thehairyelbow wrote: »

F**k it. I'm gonna give it a go.......

Do so and it could be all down hill from here on!

Mayo Exile

thehairyelbow wrote: »

F**k it. I'm gonna give it a go.......

Make sure its cool first!!

ArtyM

Mayo Exile wrote: »

Via the exhaust pipe?????????

Or cigarette lighter if he is less well endowed

Saila

Mayo Exile wrote: »

Via the exhaust pipe?????????

stick a fleshlight in it...close your eyes..get someone to rev the engine..and you're pretty much there

HazDanz

I wonder if he has different positions for sex with the cars. The Handbrake Turn?

zuroph

Im pretty certain I accidentally had sex with the back seat of my car one night while trying to "get it in"....

tayto lover

thehairyelbow wrote: »

F**k it. I'm gonna give it a go.......

Can you aFORD to get your gear stick burned ?

Reloc8

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056234366&page=3

Skerries

Mayo Exile wrote: »

Make sure its cool first!!

BMW - Burnt My Willy

Glenster

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Forgive my obvious ignorance and innocence, but how the f**k do you shag a car??

Same way you shag a bird from Drimnagh.......from behind.

df1985

"Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla"



I hope she doesnt leave him after all this!

zuroph

df1985 wrote: »

"Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla"



I hope she doesnt leave him after all this!

I know, imagine what "STDi"s he has!!

Irish Guitarist

There was a woman on television a while ago that married the Eiffel Tower.

Voodoo_rasher

westendgirlie wrote: »

How do you have sex with a car ? :eek:

giving the exhaust pipe a blow can be hazardous..can burn the gob off one!