Birth Mother in England...now what??

mectavba

Hi folks,

Further to my previous thread, I took your advice and found my birth mother's birth cert and today her marriage cert.

I found from that she got married in Dublin, but was living in England, before and after.

I have been on 192.com and have found an address for her as recent as 2007. However, I did a search on the BT phonebook website and found her husband (well it had his first initial and was the only corresponding one in that town) in a different address, about a 6 minute drive away from the 2007 address. I couldnt find either of them on the 2011 electoral register.

So I can only assume she is living with the husband at the new address that is on the BT phonebook, but am wary that this is too big an assumption (i.e. could have separated etc.)


Has anyone got any further tips for me to try verify where she is living???

Thanks in advance.

mandy30

Hi there,

I have been down this road too

Found my mother in the UK where she still lives.

If I was you, I would just call the number you found on 192.com. Call up and say " Hi, can I speak to

---

?"

Or get someone else to call if you don't feel up to it.

Hope you are doing okay during all of this

tyview

Hi well done for getting the certs. I suppose if the surname isn't very common then it could be them but if there was a more than a few in that area I wouldn't get your hopes up too much. If you have a possible address, you could always write a letter to her and send it by registered post. If your BM is not at that address then the householder wouldn't sign for it. If you were to send it normal post you might never know whether she got it and just didn't reply or if she wasn't at that address in the first place.

I have to say if it was me I would be very tempted to give a ring and just ask to speak to her. I know I wouldn't have the nerve to go into conversation though and would hang up if she was there. Thats just me!;)

I'm not too sure but does findmypast.co.uk give and recent births or the LDS pilot website. You could always do a little be more digging. I'm thinking along the lines to check for siblings. If you can find a cert for them that might confirm this newer address too. If the husband was from that area it might also be that maybe that was his parents address that they now live in. I'm rambling now! Hope some of that helps

mectavba

Thanks for the replies.

Almost feel guilty that I've been able to find a potential address so easy. To be honest, I havent even thought about contacting her up until now, I was just trying to find out info on where she was etc.

I don't think I would ring her up, I wouldnt be too happy about it if she foundme and contacted me that way. I think the registered post is the way to go....perhaps even send a letter to both addresses?? That way, I will know if she is living in one or the other.

I would love to just make sure of the right address first though. Any more ideas on how to do some more digging around...I have tried a few of the above ideas and nothing doing really.

My birthday is coming up and I was half thinking this morning that it might be a good date to send a letter on that date, as she would know for definite it was me...dont know if it is a stupid idea or not.

mandy30

We can give you all the advice in the world about this.

But only you can decide what feels right for you in this kind of circumstance.

Follow your instinct and do what feels right for you.

I ended up ignoring everyones advice when I found my mother, I just did what I felt best for me.

tyview

Hi, I like the idea of sending the letter so that maybe she gets it in and around your birthday but as Mandy says, do what you feel is right.

On another note, have you tried using google maps for the addresses you have. As far as I know they were done a couple of years ago in some instances so you might find a 'for sale' sign in the garden. Probably a long shot but it just came to me reading your post again. It wouldn't answer if she and her husband still live together though.