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Things you did to avoid standing up.

  • 17-05-2011 3:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭


    Saw the other thread about getting off school and didn't apply to me. It was made clear to me that I would be rolled in in my coffin if it came to it.
    What did apply to me and every other normally functioning chap here is the ol', 'Please God don't leave the teacher ask me to stand up because I have an erection on me that would bate an ass into a quarry'.
    The one time I almost got caught was in 6th year Biz Org (I know, all those erections but only called on it once), I was day-dreaming/riding and the teacher spotted me and asked me up to the top of the class to do a brief summary of what he was on about. After some humming and hawing, I couldn't avoid it any longer. So as i get up, I have a tragic 'accident', 'twisting' my ankle and banging my knee against the desk. I'm sure the acting was up there with Thunderbirds but I stayed on the floor till erection went. Mission accomplished.
    So what have you done/thought about to make it go away in a hurry to avoid an awkward/embarrassing situation. Any guaranteed fixes. And ladies, feel free to chip in too :eek:


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,717 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    Think of mary harney


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Had a ****


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    And ladies trannies, feel free to chip in too :eek:

    FYP


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭Doyler92


    I sat down because I'm a fearless b*stard.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Polished it off first. WARP-****!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,785 ✭✭✭✭For Forks Sake


    joined Eirigi


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    joined Eirigi

    Surely that adds inches to your mickey


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭Viper_JB


    Flight and a few pain killers generally do the job...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Viper_JB wrote: »
    Flight and a few pain killers generally do the job...

    Alright Neil. Hows your bollix


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,814 ✭✭✭TPD


    YFlyer wrote: »
    Think of mary harney

    That photoshopped pic of her in a bikini and Ahern there with the title 'P.D. Woman' or something, that's actually the image I visualise when I need to lose an erection sharpish. Works, too.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,717 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    I'm afraid to look for that picture


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    Just tuck it in under your belt...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,775 ✭✭✭✭kfallon


    I pretended I was taking a dump :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,048 ✭✭✭vampire of kilmainham


    a mhuintoir an bhuail cead agam duil amach go dti an leithreis
    mar ta ruid aigin mi ceirt isteach i mo bristai:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,006 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    Became a woman, therefore eradicating the problem forever! Mwahahaha!

    Of course now I spend €300 a month on stupid laydee things like shampoo, deodorant and carpet cleaner. Plus I seem to have an inexplicable attraction to shoes. :confused:

    Still worth it though.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    kfallon wrote: »
    I pretended I was taking a dump :pac:

    You were pretending the bulge at the FRONT of your pants was a log?? Some sort of out the backside, between the legs, up one side of your balls and pushing out the front Clonakilty Pudding style monster. I would rather ask the teacher to just check out my boner that say I filled my pants with some sort of donkey leg shaped poo.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    It was considered "mad" in our class to stand up with a boner so we egged each other on and ended up bonerstanding quite a lot. We had a couple of hot teachers so it was a frequent occurance. Like farting as loud as you can and immediately blaming the guy beside you.

    Usually the intercom was the best one because you'd be caught completely off guard and if the teacher was particularly hot that day we'd all be in the same boat. We were like a union of immature teenage lads very focused on our farting/boner agenda. I literally went home everyday with sore sides from laughing. Those were the days :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,674 ✭✭✭Dangerous Man


    I tried to reason with the thing. I am a man. Isn't my brain supposed to be in my penis?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭2 stroke


    Feck sake, grow a pair. Why would anyone be embarassed to have a boner. Soon enough you'll be embarassed at not getting one when you need it.


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