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Tell a future partner things???

  • 15-05-2011 8:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Okay so long story short, first long term relationship ended extremly badly for me, found out i was dumped by her facebook status, her next boyfriend posting underneath the staus change etc. Turn on phone to find text message confirming dumping. No explanation, still no closure to this day, 1.5 yrs ago.
    Really messed me up, fast forward to now and i am beginning to think i am ready to try again with someone new!
    Although I am having doubts as to wheter I should mention what happened to me to potential new partner, as in i dont want to get hurt in that extremity ever again. So pep's would you tell a new partner how badly you were treated by your last to try and avoid them doing the same?


Comments

  • #2
    bellylint
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 230 ✭✭bellylint


    Hi Op,
    Jeez that is definitely on the crappier side of a way to break up with someone. I am sorry to hear that you had an encounter who has little respect for other people. Unfortunately we can let these people in sometimes. It is not a reflection that you are a bad person by any means. You are lucky to be rid of her in the end if she was willing to treat others like that.
    Re telling someone in a future relationship about what happened in your past, it is completely up to you. I dont know if it would help/hinder a relationship. Anytime I speak of previous ex's to current GF's (n by that I dont mean I am seeing a couple of girls atm, just speaking in tense) I think it is best not to talk about them too much at all. I have ofc been hurt in the past, time and other people have made me forget about that though. I have mentioned it briefly, no need to go into details. I try to focus on enjoying my time with them rather than focus on a previous pain. I emphasize the 'try' as it is not 100% but it works most of the time and allows me to enjoy myself.

    Good luck


  • #3
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    I think it is ok to briefly touch on the fact that you were badly hurt before. You don't need to go into detail or the ins and outs of it but no harm in putting it out there either.


  • #4
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    by 'potential new partner' do you mean someone you are interested in?

    If so there is no way Id go near it, certainly not at the start, unless you really want to for some reason. To be honest if someone said that to me at the start of a new reln Id be worried that they werent over the last one. Or that you might not really commit 100%. Or that they might run at the first hint of difficulty to stop themselves getting hurt. And you cant go into a reln trying not to get hurt.

    Learn from the past, but dont let one crappy ex gf define your future relationships. You either trust a new partner or you dont. If you do, then let go and open yourself up.


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