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Just broke up - need some advice?

  • 15-05-2011 7:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Gonna go unreg for this.

    Well its not as simple in the title.
    I've been in a few relationships before, but nothing ever very long or serious. My first long-term relationship (about 1.5 years) just ended. The problem is, me and my ex have the same circle of friends so I knew we'd have to see her alot.

    Ended up being at some party yesterday she was at, we talked for a while and we had jokes etc. and all seemed cool. We weren't extremely friendly but we sure weren't awkward either. Great, i thought. Its all cool now.

    But as the night went on (I wasn't drinking that night, so it wasn't alcohol) the doubts that had already been festering as to if I should have broken up with her (a week and a bit ago) got worse, and I was seriously thinking that maybe I made a mistake.

    But anyway, she noticed this change in attitude, and was asking me what was up. I told her I just need a little space for a while until I sort out where I'm at etc. she said okay. And then we got talking again today, and it resulted in us finding out that neither of us know exactly how we feel, or what we want.

    Because this is the first time I've been in such a situation, I need some advice. The thing is, I know that no matter what, I do really like her as a friend, and I want to keep her around as one. But... I'm finding it hard to differentiate my feelings. Cause we'd always have the crack etc. but I don't know whether I still feel something more. And I've been going back and forth all day.

    I suppose what I'm asking is: How long will I need to wait before I know how I feel?(Sorry, that may be a stupid question) (We're supposed to be talking again on friday) How am I supposed to get over a girl who's already such a part of my circle of friends? And also... what else can I do to get over someone? I know everyone says time... but is that really it? Cause tbqh, I've been feeling awful. Also, is it normal to keep wanting to talk to my ex, like all the time just after a breakup? Cause I've felt that... a lot.


Comments

  • #2
    IrishEyes19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,861 ✭✭✭IrishEyes19


    Well firstly dont get back together just because she's in your circle of friends and it would make it less awkward. that's just silly.

    Also take into account, why you broke up in the first place. What made you doubt the relationship, and most importantly, since she's unlikely to change, can you therefore take whatever doubts you had and accept them? Meaning whatever faults you saw in her, or whatever turned you off, can you now accept them as part of her and your relationship and be together. If not, dont get back together, as the same problems usually crop up, unless you both sit down and discuss it through. best of luck


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I agree, it would be silly. I'm not going to do that, and if you got that impression from my OP, then that wasn't one I wanted to give. It was because of sincere doubts that I may have done the wrong thing, not because she was in my circle of friends.

    That was more.. it seems more difficult because realistically, I'm probably going to see her more than I'd like to just after a relationship ending, if you know what I mean?


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