36 weeks and worrying...

qwertytlk

Hi, im 36 weeks pregnant and was discussing the birth with my aunty last night. Althoguh id never really thought about it before she mentioned what its like after the baby is born. Im kind of worried now as i had sort of presumed that the midwives and nurses would help you a little bit with looking after the baby..or more show you what to do but my auty was saying they basically hand you the baby and let you get on with it. Well this is my first baby and im quite nervous about it all now. I have some experience with small children but none with a new baby....

Moonbeam

Don't worry:)
Are you in a Dublin hospital?

When I had my 1st the nurses were brilliant.
I had a private room,they woke me for feeds,offered to take the baby to let me sleep,spend hours teaching me how to breastfeed.
The 2nd time was alot different semi private ward (6 beds),couldn't find a nurse when I had a question,no one spoke to me but I think this was because I was not a 1st time mammy.
Both of mine were in Holles St.
You adjust fast!

irishmanmick

like Moonbeam said, you needn't be worrying. Mrs Irishman gave birth to our beautiful little daughter in Jan. Isabelle was our first and she was a little apprehensive as well. The midwives were amazing. Couldn't speak highly enough of them. They do give you space to bond with your baby but are ready and able to give any support you need. We were semi private in Holles St

I sure your aunt didn't mean to worry you but tbh it wasn't a fairly clever thing to say to a heavily pregnant woman. Last thing you need is something else to worry bout!

Swampy

Like they all said, had our baby on sunday in holles street. Managed to snag a private room in the merrion wing. Midwives are amazing. They tell and show you everything you need to know. Do not be afraid to press the bell and call them whenever you need to. They are very obliging.

Ayla

Oh can't older women/mother figures be so much fun!

I had 2 children in public hospitals in public wards, and I cannot say enough about the wonderful treatment I got - both during labour and in the 2-3 days resident after. True, the nurses & midwives were run off their feet - they work *very hard* - but if I had any questions or needed any help they were right there. Otherwise, if I was sorted, they left me be.

I know it's impossible to accept b/c you're worrying about everything right now (which is quite normal & natural), but you will amaze yourself with how you adapt and pick up on what needs done in the first few days. You can do this, try to believe that about yourself!

Overature

Best of luck:)

Cat Melodeon

I don't really like newborn babies - they freak me out with their vulnerability and fragility. BUT, when I had my boy it was completely different. He arrived in the evening and it was fairly quiet in the hospital, so I did get fantastic attention from the night shift midwife. She got me to breastfeed in the labour ward, then transferred me to the ward (a public one, 4 beds), got me into bed, got me to cosleep so I wouldn't have to get up, showed me how to feed lying down. It was lovely. Plenty of attention during the day too, shown how to change & bathe baby, how to care for the bellybutton etc. The second night wasn't so great, but that was as much down to me as them (I find it hard to sleep in a bed other than my own).

When you meet your baby, it's not scary or weird. You already know who they are, they've been inside you for the past 9 months and communicating for a lot of that. They're not as vulnerable or fragile as they look either, and there is an instinct that kicks in that gets you through it. Remember, it's your baby, you're the mam and whatever way you end up doing things, it'll be the way that works for you. You will get help but remember that you will know what works for you best. It mightn't be what your aunt did with her kids, but babies have a way of getting the parenting they need, once you go with it and don't try sticking yourself to some set parenting style. Just go with it, do whatever you need to do, you'll be grand.

crazy cat lady

Everyone 'expected' me to know what to do with a newborn being a midwife, but like yourself, I had the very same worries and anxieties!

Sure I'd delivered babies, but I'd never had one pop out of my lady garden.

Yes I'd helped many a woman to breastfeed, but my boobies had never been udders before.

Yes I'd had experience of handling newborns, but I was never in their company for longer than 12 hours and after 3 days I never saw them again!

I think being a mother is one of the most difficult and easy jobs in the world. Most of it comes naturally and the rest comes from the support and guidance you get from friends, family, and occasionally you'll get the help you need from people you'll probably never meet that live in that strange littlw world called the internet

The trick is to feel comfortable in asking those around you when you are unsure, whether that be the midwives in the hospital, your mam, your aunt, your gran, your public health nurse, your GP... The list is endless. There is ALWAYS someone there to offer help and support, and I can guarantee that in a years time, you'll wonder what you were ever worried about

Ayla

Also, it may help to be prepared for the fact that the midwives & nurses are human themselves, and as such come with their own ideas on what should & shouldn't be done. Some of it you'll agree with (it'll "feel" right) and some of it you won't. As time goes on you'll figure out what you want to do, and although you should take on board what someone says, if it's not in line with what you think is right, don't worry about hurting their feelings.

Within the same shift I had nurses tell me not to co-sleep (the *dangers!*) and others encouraging me to do so. I had some supportive of the fact that neither of my girls ever wanted to sleep (in fact they wanted to scream for hours on end!), and other nurses asked me to take my babies out of the room b/c they were disturbing other mothers (who were all happily sleeping away, the lucky buggers!).

Point being, if you try to do everything every nurse/midwife/doctor/mother/gran/aunt suggests, you'll go mad! You'll figure out your own way & then it'll feel like you've always had a babe to mind

Hannibal Smith

qwertytlk wrote: »

Hi, im 36 weeks pregnant and was discussing the birth with my aunty last night. Althoguh id never really thought about it before she mentioned what its like after the baby is born. Im kind of worried now as i had sort of presumed that the midwives and nurses would help you a little bit with looking after the baby..or more show you what to do but my auty was saying they basically hand you the baby and let you get on with it. Well this is my first baby and im quite nervous about it all now. I have some experience with small children but none with a new baby....

The first day they run through stuff with you...they show you how to change a nappy etc. They kind of leave you to it after that. If you have any problems, they're always there, but you'll be surprised how quick you'll settle into it.

qwertytlk

Thanks everyone, i feel alot better after readin through all the replies! im going public, in the rotunda. I know my aunty didnt mean to frighten me, but its 20 years since she had a baby so im sure things are different now!! as long as they will run through things like feeding, bathing etc with me even once, i know il be fine. iv been told me and baby will probably have to stay in the hospital for 4 or 5 days so im sure il pick up plenty whilst im there. And my mam offered to come and stay for a week to help me out when i first get home. when she first said it i said i didnt think id need her but getting closer to the time im thinking i may need her afterall!! either way its good to have the option of the help if i feel i need it Thanks everyone!!!

How Strange

I also had the conflicting advice from midwives. The day ones were totally against co-sleeping and told me it was downright dangerous. The night ones encouraged it and I'm glad they did.

I was told to listen to everyone's 'advice', take on board whatever is helpful and ignore the rest.

While in hospital, the staff will leave you to your own devices to an extent and I felt that was important because I needed to learn but they're always observing you and are there to help if or when you need. They will show you how to change nappies, feed, bathe etc.

Your aunt may have meant well but don't you wish people would think before they speak sometimes.

miss_shadow

If I were to turn back time and have my first born again one thing I would do is reach out, ask as many questions about caring for a newborn or anything that I had concerns or was uncertain about regarding him and his health.
The midwives are there for support and to talk to you so burn the ear off them (at a quiet time)
I had very little support, was left to my own devices and didn't have a flippin clue.

Also the internet is great for questions you want answers to although don't be tempted to look for medical advice..