No confidence

LegacyUser

Just looking for a bit of advice on something that's been the bain of my life, especially my love life, for a very long time...a lack of confidence.

I'm a 25 year old guy-fairly decent looking and have a good job. My group of friends are generally better looking than me and would be better with women than me too. Always have been. That's probably led to me having a shocking lack of confidence when it comes to meeting women. Any time we go out as a group, girls would generally be eyeing up my mates more than me, which is obviously very annoying but there you go... That's led to me being fairly inexperienced when it comes to women.

I'm a fairly sociable person and can chat away with girls when I've no chance with them or I'm not interested in them myself. When it comes to chatting with girls I like though, any confidence I have goes out the window and I never have a clue how to go about flirting with the girl or chatting her up. I'd be chatting away to her, but never know how to "make my move", so end up talking ****e. I can never muster up the courage to "make my move", because I don't know how to. My lack of experience with women means I don't know what to do...so I end up blowing any chances I have with them. The odd time I surprise myself and seal the deal but then the next time I'm out the same thing happens all over again.

When I do make the effort to talk to women I generally get a decent response and women would often be interested in me, but because I don't know what to "do", I always end up ****ing it up and going home alone... I think girls that I'd be chatting to would think I'm not interested in them because I kinda back off and get shy, when I am interested but don't have the confidence to try get their number/score them or whatever.

I've been told before that I'm "too nice" with women (which I've seen another poster has the same problem in another thread on here) but I think it's because I'm afraid to make the move that girls find me "safe" or "nice", which is annoying when my mates end up going home with different girls every night and I end up alone!!!

This all came to a head about 2 weeks ago when I was chatting to a girl I liked. I didn't think I had much of a chance with her, so was getting on grand with her. Then she told me she liked me as well, so of course, the gob****e that I am, I just froze completely, didn't know what to do and backed off completely. The girl ended up scoring some other chap later that night and I ended up going home alone....again.

I think I've missed out on several girls (at least 2 I really liked and think liked me) because of this and it's really pissing me off now. I'm alone with no gf and it's mostly my fault... I can't even ask a girl out on a date ffs!

Anyway thanks for reading. Any advice on this would be greatly received as it's really getting to me. I know I'm a decent guy and decent looking, but I'm ****ing up with women cos of my confidence. I know I'll also keep ****ing up until I get confidence, so it's a vicious circle!!

Cheers

missgroovy21

ok relax!!!

just because your friends have more "luck" doesnt mean that they are more attractive than you. Women are attracted to confidence....you could be the ugliest guy in the world but if you have an air of confidence it makes no difference.......I used to be the same all the guys would like my friends and not me it made me sick!!!! Anyways ur doin everythn right...keep chatting and getting to know someone......sometimes a girl doesnt want to be "chatted up" straight away we do prefer to just chat 1st......asking someone out can be hard but if you are chatting to someone you like say about films and you find a few you have in common and theres one in d cinema that looks good...ask her if she has seen whatever it is and if she says no then suggest that you go together just the 2 of you.....or if you get talking bout what kinda food you like say Italian then say oh i know a great restaurant blah blah have you ever been der? if she says no then ask her if she'd like to go with you sometime...

Good Luck

LegacyUser

When I was your age I was just like you.

Here's a bit of advice ..........

You've shown interest, you've chatted to them, they're still hanging around so they may well be interested.... you're a bit nervous, fair enough... get a bit close as you're chatting to her and then say the following: "hey, can I kiss you?"

If she's interested she responds positively - if she isn't she;ll let you know. At least you've tried and you won't be kicking yourself for not making the effort.

Alternatively, just ask "hey, I'd like to see you again, could I get your number and give you a shout"......