Are your children vegetarian?

lolli

Hey everyone,

I'm vegetarian 16 years now and I have a 16 month old daughter. I made a decision to let her eat meat. My partner didn't want her to be a vegetarian.

I have no problem cooking or preparing meat for people. I just don't want to eat it myself.

I am looking at a programme at the moment about food. Its making me sick looking at how its all processed and how much stuff is added to it.

Sometimes I feel guilty about her eating meat. Should it be her decision when she grows up. Is it up to me to make that decision for her. I was a very bad vegetarian when I first became one, but I am so much better now that I am better educated about food.

What decisions did you make for your children regarding vegetarianism?

loueuro2

hi i dont have any children yet but when i do i will bring them up vegan, when there old enough to understand the horrors of the meath and dairy industry they can make there own decision.
my husband is a meat eater and has no problem with my decision. once its a well balanced diet its the healthiest diet any child could be on.

superelliptic

no.

Slaphead07

I'm a bit ahead of you in that my kids are 18 and 21. They were raised vegetarian and were the healthiest kids in their class, also among the tallest leanest etc. My daughter "went over to the dark side" (her phrase) a few years back and has suffered terrible acne ever since. Not only is it quite possible to feed kids well on a veggie diet but in many ways it's preferable. I saw that TV programme too!
Obviously you need to ensure a balance of protein. iron and B vitamins (And so on) but so does any parent. Feeding a baby nitrates and growth hormones probably isn't the wisest thing to do either.

niallb

Hi Lolli. It's not an easy choice to make. I've been vegetarian for 40 years myself.
Wife and three kids are all happy carnivores.
My only problem with cooking meat is that I won't taste it to know when it's done.
Our kids are familiar with and happy to eat far more varieties of vegetable than several people I know whose kids are vegetarian. Variety and balance is really important.

Hi loueuro2. Love the wee spelling thing that crept in, particularly as I am a resident of Meath. It's what made me decide I would post here in the end.

Bringing up your kids vegan is a serious commitment, and best of luck with it.
It will involve learning loads more about nutrition and working out the balance of everything over the course of the meals you cook every day and every week.
If you do have strong feelings about taking the lives of fellow creatures for food though,
it's a wonderful gift to be able to give them. I've been vegetarian myself since very early childhood, so I probably have a quite different perspective on it than most.

Washout

I was vegetarian since birth as are my 2 daughters who are aged 6 and 2

maameeo

my daughter says shes 'a vegetarian and a meat eater'

I had her when i was pretty young and still lived with parents, they wouldnt let me raise her as a veggie, they knew better and i was being a bad parent blah blah blah...

but now i live away from home and I let her decide. i dont cook meat or give her meat in my house. but she can get it from my parents (shes there everyday)

but she loves veggie food, ask her whether she wants mcdonalds or govindas, itll be govindas everytime! lol

I've had friends that raised their children as veggies and they are super healthy. I think if you make sure they are getting all they need then go for it, she can decide when shes older which way to go.

--LOS--

Hi Lolli, not that I have kids or ever would have lol but if it was me in your position I would raise her vegetarian and let her decide when she's old enough to make her own food choices. I'm sure you know it's not a bad/unhealthy thing to raise her vegetarian, if anything it is worse to give her meat. I'm sure many of us who are vegetarian here would love to have been raised vegetarian, I certainly would have. Ofc it is a personal decision. Even if she is raised with meat she is growing up surrounded by vegetarianism from you so may well decide later that it is for her too.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Well I don't have kids but I as my parents were veggie when my sister and I were born we were both raised vegetarian. I've stuck with it but she hasn't, even as a little kid she was always trying to steal people's burgers and stuff. I never had the least interest in it really, but I always had the choice to be vegetarian or not, as in it's not like we weren't allowed meat, it just wasn't cooked in the house when we were young (though neither of my parents are vegetarian any more, my mother doesn't eat much meat though).

I never had any health problems as a result of being raised that way, in fact as a kid I was very rarely sick and still don't get sick very often now, also I was never one of those kids who was fussy about eating vegetables and healthy food so I'd say if anything it had a positive impact on my health. Also, my growth wasn't stunted or anything, it doesn't seem to have affected my brain development or any of the other silly things people seem to expect of veggie kids. You're not taking the choice away from your daughter by not feeding her meat any more than you are by feeding her meat though, she can make the decision to opt out of vegetarianism after all. Good luck with whatever decision you make though

lolli

Thank you all so much for your replies.

Its not just a case where I can decide myself. Her Daddy doesn't want her to be a vegetarian. He said he'll feed her meat behind my back if I do this. I'd rather cook good quality meat myself than knowing hes bringing her places giving her burgers and chips.

He has no problem with me feeding her vegetarian food, but also wants her to have a choice of eating meat. I guess its something we aren't really going to agree on.

Thank you all for your advice. I do all the cooking anyway, so I might just give her a good quality vegetarian diet for the moment. He wouldnt even notice what I feed her

She loves beef stew and chicken casserole though. I'll play it by ear i guess.

strandroad

FYI I was almost a vegetarian when I was a child. I never liked meat and was literally running away from it; they tried to make me eat it at first but since I liked eggs and dairy I was mostly allowed to skip meat. I always loved veg and most meat products I have never tasted! Well and the bottom line is I turned out just fine

lolli

I'm a vegetarian since I was a child also. My parents always respected my house and never tried to force me to eat meat.

My daughter has had a lot of medical issues since she was born. I just want to make the right decisions for her.

Thankfully she loves vegetables so shes very good at eating her dinners.

RussellTuring

To be honest I think I'd be a bit ticked off with and think it was hypocritical of one of my parents raising me to eat meat even though they didn't do it themselves. Like most other vegetarians in this part of the world I wasn't raised vegetarian but now wish I had been. As mentioned earlier, you can always raise your child without having them eat meat and let them make the decision when they are mature enough.

I think the least you could do is explain to the child in no uncertain terms what meat actually is: it's all well and good saying you're giving them the choice but this means very little if it's an uninformed one. Also, try explaining to your husband that while eating meat may be a culinary issue for him, not eating it is (presumably) an ethical one for you. Of course if it's not an ethical issue for you, just ignore that point.

Neuro

Hmmm, it's a tricky issue alright - you have to balance your own beliefs with those of your partner while also promoting the wellbeing of your child. The following are just some thoughts I had while reading the thread:

- Paradoxical carnivores
Some have commented that you should raise your child as a vegetarian and let them decide later in life if they'd like to eat meat. But, in my opinion, this is more likely to turn them into meat eaters later in life - someone commented earlier on their vegetarian daughter turning to the 'darkside' once she grew up. Food is a lot like religion - if a particular approach is foisted upon a child when they are young, they're more likely to reject that approach later in life. This is not a reflection on the correctness of the approach per se, but simply the young person attempting to forge their own identity, particularly in ways that differentiates themselves from their parents. Think of all the sixteen year old children of meat-eating parents who suddenly turn vegetarian; now think of the opposite.

- External social pressures
Now, I'm not a parent, but I believe that most parents hope that their children will be strong-minded, independent, and completely oblivious to the irrelevant opinions of others. However, school, particularly secondary school, is, to put it bluntly, a Macheavelian cess-pit. To stand out in such a setting, particularlay when the difference (vegetarianism) is relatively arbitrary, and not of your choosing, can lead to a lot of resentment from your child, which can then lead to the paradoxical meat-eating described above.

- Meat eating can lead to vegetarianism
The best approach, in my opinion, is to raise your child as a meat eater, but continue to be a vegetarian yourself. As the child grows, they'll question why you choose not to eat meat. By explaining your reasons, and by parenting by example, you allow your child to come to their own conclusions. And, if they do decide to follow your example of their own volition, they are far more likely to integrate vegetarianism into their own self-concept, and are consequently more likely to be lifelong vegetarians.

seamus

Neuro wrote: »

- Paradoxical carnivores
Some have commented that you should raise your child as a vegetarian and let them decide later in life if they'd like to eat meat. But, in my opinion, this is more likely to turn them into meat eaters later in life - someone commented earlier on their vegetarian daughter turning to the 'darkside' once she grew up. Food is a lot like religion - if a particular approach is foisted upon a child when they are young, they're more likely to reject that approach later in life. This is not a reflection on the correctness of the approach per se, but simply the young person attempting to forge their own identity, particularly in ways that differentiates themselves from their parents. Think of all the sixteen year old children of meat-eating parents who suddenly turn vegetarian; now think of the opposite.

While I'm sure this is the case sometimes, I doubt that raising them vegetarian is more likely to turn them against it in future, unless it pervades every aspect of that life.

That is, if a child's life is filled with the do nots and may nots related to living a vegetarian life, then I agree that they are more likely to rebel. I imagine that very strict vegans find it difficult to "enforce" veganism on their teenage children, if they even try.

- Meat eating can lead to vegetarianism
The best approach, in my opinion, is to raise your child as a meat eater, but continue to be a vegetarian yourself. As the child grows, they'll question why you choose not to eat meat. By explaining your reasons, and by parenting by example, you allow your child to come to their own conclusions. And, if they do decide to follow your example of their own volition, they are far more likely to integrate vegetarianism into their own self-concept, and are consequently more likely to be lifelong vegetarians.

It would seem to me that explaining your reasons for vegetarianism should have the required effect regardless of whether your child does or does not eat meat

The approach that I will take with my children and that my brother takes is that they will be fed vegetarian at home, and when sent somewhere that someone else will feed them, the person doing the cooking will be told to cook veggie for them.
However, if the child asks for a burger or chicken nuggets or a ham sandwich or whatever, they won't be denied. Likewise I wouldn't stop them from going to a party because it's being held in McDonalds, and I wouldn't tell that parent to insist that the child only gets a veggie burger.
In that way, you allow the child the freedom to decide themselves if they like meat but at the same time the "why don't mummy and daddy eat meat" question will come up, and the hope would be that through our example and by virtue of us being role models, the child will naturally choose vegetarianism.

The issue with religion is that it's never portrayed as a choice. I agree fully that if you do not present vegetarianism as a choice to the child, then they are more likely to rebel against it in later years.

Slaphead07

Neuro wrote: »

... someone commented earlier on their vegetarian daughter turning to the 'darkside' once she grew up.

Quoted out of context. I said it was her phrase - she has a sense of humour. It's as much a rebellion thing as anything else, she also smokes... go figure. You failed to mention my 18 year old son who is still a veggie and has no interest in changing.
My point is that sweeping generalisations don't help and shouldn't be used as evidence of anything.

Absurdum

My 15 month old daughter is vegetarian, my home is meat-free, the end.

If the choice was just up to me. I'd chose a setup like the one Seamus describes.
Veggie food at home, no criticism for wanting to try meat if it is available elsewhere. However I would be very upset if I found someone was forcing meat on any child of mine.

If there is a co-parent on the scene. The would have to have an equal say in the matter.

Slaphead07

just to be clear... both myself and my wife are vegetarian. I am not going to buy meat, I am not going to cook meat and I'm not on a crusade to convert anybody to vegetarianism. My daughter choosing to eat some meat was just a young adult making their own decision - it didn't imply a defeat for us as parents no more than having a vegetarian son is a victory.
All parents have their values and they pass them on to their children for better or worse.

Whispered

My OH eats meat - but will just as happily have a quorn dinner or just veggies. The compromise we have is that I will cook meat for him so long as it's free range and as local as possible. He'll still buy tesco chicken burgers etc. I just wont cook them.

If we were to ever have kids, they will have a mix of the two. Just like my husband does. Veggie meals sometimes and good quality meat occasionally. If the child wants a take away, well I think I'd encourage beef (I have a huge problem with intensive farming of chicken and pig) but I wouldn't make an issue out of it.

When the child is old enough to ask questions, we will be open and honest about where meat comes from, why it's good to eat meat and why it's good not to eat meat. I'd imagine I might have a child which flip flops with vegetarianism for a few years before settling one way or another.

Either way - our children will be aware of where their food comes from.

Looking Glass

If I were to have children, then I would want them to be vegetarians. Want being the key world here. Growing up in a house devoid of meat would probably drive the children insane once they get older, and even crave it. Sneaking off to McDonald's with their friends would be a sneaky guilty pleasure, for example. My mother has already 'jokingly' said that I didn't feed them meat that she'd feed them it herself!

But I like Whispered's approach. If my husband weren't a veggie and ate meat, then a balance between meat and non-meat products for them wouldn't be that bad.

Kruk

My entire family is vegan including children. It works perfect for us

axel rose

I'm veggie and my husband would have eaten the animal when it was still in the field. When I got pregnant we decided that a compromise of chicken and fish only. I kind of wish that I pushed for fish only but too late now I guess.

I would love to say that I would be cool if someone offered my now 3 year old beef/pork but my instinct shouts NOOOOO! He eats chicken once/twice a week, and a mixture of fish and veggie for the rest. However I think that its more important for me that he understands the journey from the field to the plate.

Apparently I won't be allowed to bring him to see sheep being slaughtered .

lolli

Hey thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and advice.

It isn't just my decision to make, if it was i'd make her a vegetarian. My partner is not a vegetarian and hes her father so the decision is 50% his! I can't just make this decision without him agreeing to it.

He has refused point blank that shes going to be a vegetarian. We are going to let her know as she gets older that she has a choice. For the time being we are going to feed her fresh, healthy foods be it meat or vegetarian food.

If he were also a vegetarian it would be so easy to decide but thats not the way it is.

Thanks so much guys I am happy though because she loves all vegetables and had no problem eating it. Mostly shes eating vegetarian food unless theres a stew or something for dinner.