How to ask someone to the Debs

LegacyUser

I have finally gotten the courage to ask this guy to the debs but he is this other girls second choice (complicated story) but hopefully after I chat to her I'll get the all clear!

Anyway, me and this guy are friendly enough but I'm still worried he might say no. We're in the same group of friends so theres no reason to say no but it's still a worry. I'm not the prettiest girl and I don't have a nice body, but we do have a laugh together. He just seems out of my league for some reason, though it's probably in my head!

I can only ask him after school, and even then I'd only have a minute to ask him. Otherwise I'd have to call him, but I'd prefer to do it face to face. The next time I'll see him outside school is at the end of May, and he will probably be drunk! :L

Any advice on how to ask, as well as what to say to the girl?

Well firstly definitely ask asap. There was a guy with a similar question to yours a while ago. Ended up leaving it too late and was in a bit of a pickle.

Say to the girl I know you have X as your backup but I'm in need of a +1 and I'd love to bring him with me. I was wondering if you'd be ok with me asking him since you probably wont be taking him?

As for the guy, if you're worried he's "out of your league", you can always say mate-date rather than date-date. If you go purely as friends, you could still end up having a great time, and something may come of it anyway.

LegacyUser

true-or-false wrote: »

As for the guy, if you're worried he's "out of your league", you can always say mate-date rather than date-date. If you go purely as friends, you could still end up having a great time, and something may come of it anyway.

I'd be bringing him as a friend, I know nothing would come of it, and to be honest I don't think I'd want anything out of it.

He should know it's as friends when I ask him, or should I tell him? I'd feel silly telling him it's as friends?!

karaokeman

I'd say it would be better to just ask and not to mention anything about friends or whatever.

He might think its a bit awkward unless you've ever confessed that you have feelings for him.

X in my quote is for whoever your friends name is.

Just walk with him outside school someday and say.

"Hey X I was wonderng would you like to go to the Debs with me?".

Simple as, if he says no you can always ask someone else.

Just make it casual, don't put yourself under pressure to say "as friends".

When is your Debs? If its in september I'd say anytime before early August would be fine for asking.

raveni

datelessdebutante wrote: »

I have finally gotten the courage to ask this guy to the debs but he is this other girls second choice (complicated story) but hopefully after I chat to her I'll get the all clear!

Anyway, me and this guy are friendly enough but I'm still worried he might say no. We're in the same group of friends so theres no reason to say no but it's still a worry. I'm not the prettiest girl and I don't have a nice body, but we do have a laugh together. He just seems out of my league for some reason, though it's probably in my head!

I can only ask him after school, and even then I'd only have a minute to ask him. Otherwise I'd have to call him, but I'd prefer to do it face to face. The next time I'll see him outside school is at the end of May, and he will probably be drunk! :L

Any advice on how to ask, as well as what to say to the girl?

Seeing as he seems to be your first choice I don't really see why you should need to clear it with the girl who has him as her 2nd choice, though I understand you might want to avoid any friction if you're good friends with her but I think it'd only be necessary to mention it to her if she's a close enough friend that you would have anyway if it was a different guy that was your choice.

Don't be thinking he's out of your league, there's no such thing, if you get along and have a laugh that's more than enough and there's no harm in asking at the end of the day.

About the time to ask him I can see how that might be tricky especially if he's always around others. But really any chance you catch him even between classes when he's on his own would be a grand time to ask, don't overthink it. Also, there's no rush but at the same time I wouldn't leave it too late though if your friend who has him as her 2nd choice's 1st choice falls through and he would become her 1st choice it might be a bit awkward. But that's just how I'd go about it.

LegacyUser

Seems a bit unfair that your friend gets 2 choices, and you get none?! Also seems v disrespectful to the guy, not very nice in my opinion!