Osama - The Movie. Who would you cast??

ForceOfNature

For the inevitable summer blockbuster, who plays who??

Osama Bin Laden - Dustin Hoffman
The Woman He Loved - Geeta (from eastenders)
President Obama - Sam Jackson
President Bush - Steve Martin
Hillary Clinton - Cameron Diaz
Henchman 1 - Ross Kemp
Henchman 2 - Kevin Costner
Henchman 3 - Sanjay (from eastenders)
Goat #1 - The dog from Frasier

TeddyTedson

Bin Laden could play himself :pac:

Wolfe Tone

ForceOfNature wrote: »

For the inevitable summer blockbuster, who plays who??

Osama Bin Laden - Dustin Hoffman
The Woman He Loved - Geeta (from eastenders)
President Obama - Sam Jackson
President Bush - Steve Martin
Hillary Clinton - Cameron Diaz
Henchman 1 - Ross Kemp
Henchman 2 - Kevin Costner
Henchman 3 - Sanjay (from eastenders)
Goat #1 - The dog from Frasier

I would prefer Shatner as Bush, so he can shout Bin LAAAADIIIINNNN

The_Kew_Tour

Santa and a few virgins

lastlaugh

Arnie, in his final movie would play the Navy Seal who 'got' Osama.

blackdog2

Joe Duffy as Bin Laden, Tubridy as a human shield and Miriam O'Callaghan as something soft to land on when they jump out of the helicopters.

Anne Doyle could play herself

My name is URL

Osama Bin Laden - Eddie Murphy
The Woman He Loved - Eddie Murphy
President Obama - Eddie Murphy
President Bush - Eddie Murphy

Pauleta

Osama Bin Laden - Mel Gibson
The Woman He Loved - Megan Fox
President Obama - Chris Tucker
President Bush - Rory Bremner
Hillary Clinton - Helen Mirren
Henchman 1 - Tamir Hassan
Henchman 2 - Danny Dyer
Henchman 3 - Joe Pesci

Thrill

Mel Gibson as Bin Laden........

http://www.gossipbeast.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/mel-gibson-beard.jpg

superelliptic

+1 thread.

Osama Bin Laden - Joaquin phoenix (in long-hair mode, with fake tan)
The Woman He Loved - Troy, from Star Trek TNG (the one everyone wanted to royd)
President Obama - Dave Chapelle
President Bush - Josh Brolin (well, he did it before)
Hillary Clinton - Charliez Theron
Henchman 1 - Jason Statham
Henchman 2 - Vin Diesel
Henchman 3 - Jessie "The Body" Ventura ("Come on in you f*ckers - ol painless is waitin'")
Goat #1 - Bill O'Rielly

KeithAFC

Osama Bin Laden - Ian Paisley
The Woman He Loved - Iris Robinson
President Obama - Sammy Wilson
President Bush - Gerry Kelly
Hillary Clinton - Dawn Purvis
Henchman 1 - Martin Mcguinness
Henchman 2 - Gregory Campbell
Henchman 3 - Peter Robinson
Goat #1 - Wayne Rooney

pow wow

Cameron Diaz????!!!! Hate to think what you get up to on the quiet nights at home :eek:

Osama - Tom Cruise
The Woman He Loved: Sarah Palin with a dye job
Obama: Homeless radio voiceover guy made famous on youtube
Hilary Clinton: Martha Stewart
George Bush: Jon Heder or Robin Williams
Henchman 1: Ross Kemp
Henchman 2: Colin Farrell
Henchman 3: Sylvester Stallone

Jesus Wept

Osama - Daniel Day Lewis

He would be amazing tbh.

squod

Toy story 4 Obama strikes back.

Graham Norton as the voice of Obama

Bubbles

plays his wife.
Pinochio plays the George Bush character
Buzz Lightyear plays Donald Rumsfeld
Woody plays Dick Cheney
Mr Potato head plays Osama

FortuneChip

lastlaugh wrote: »

Arnie, in his final movie would play the Navy Seal who 'got' Osama.

Oh, so it's going to be an accurate account of what happened then?


I just hope Michael Bay directs, then you don't need to waste time on script etc, so cast won't matter.
Explosion, dramatic music, explosion.
Rinse and repeat

ejmaztec

Osama Bin Laden - Peter Dinklage (the "short" guy in Game of Thrones)
The Woman He Loved - Rupert Everett
President Obama - Snoop Dogg
President Bush - Graham Norton
Hillary Clinton - Jackie Stallone
Henchman 1 - Mary-Kate Olsen
Henchman 2 - Ashley Olsen
Henchman 3 - Dustin "Screech" Diamond.

shadowninty

What??? no place for Glenn Beck?

orourkeda

Pauleta wrote: »

Osama Bin Laden - Mel Gibson
The Woman He Loved - Megan Fox
President Obama - Chris Tucker
President Bush - Rory Bremner
Hillary Clinton - Helen Mirren
Henchman 1 - Tamir Hassan
Henchman 2 - Danny Dyer
Henchman 3 - Joe Pesci

Were you watching football factory recently?

Bucklesman

Osama Bin Laden - Cillian Murphy
The Woman He Loved - Irina Shayk
President Obama - Chris Rock
President Bush - Gary Sinise
Hillary Clinton - Brenda Fricker

orourkeda

Osama Bin Laden - Russell Crowe
The Woman He Loved - Jenna Jameson
President Obama - Halle Berry
President Bush - Danny DeVito
Hillary Clinton - Michael Douglas
Henchman 1 - Cathy Bates
Henchman 2 - Jack Nicholson
Henchman 3 - Charlie Sheen

punchdrunk

on a serious note I'd cast seth Gilliam (Sgt Carver from the wire) as Bin Laden

with a bit of make-up he'd be perfect and he's a great actor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0kASxEyWNo

Adamantium

The-Rigger wrote: »

Osama - Daniel Day Lewis

He would be amazing tbh.

Unfortunately his type of "method acting" and immersion in this role could lead to forms of extremeism!!

We'd never get lewis back!

DonJose

President Obama - Don Cheadle
Osama - Danny Trejo
Hilary Clinton - Judy Dench
George Bush - Lee Evans

fee fi fo fum

ForceOfNature wrote: »

Goat #1 - The dog from Frasier

Best laugh all day , thank you OP :D

ForceOfNature

ForceOfNature wrote: »

Osama Bin Laden - Dustin Hoffman
Goat #1 - The dog from Frasier

Good call on both counts there, I'd love to see that.

Will Smith as Obama. Would have to include obligatory topless work out scene at the beginning. Not that I'd drool over Will Smith, but I'm not sure I'd recognise him otherwise.

Any suggestions for Sarah Palin? I'd say Willem Dafoe would do a good job if we put some lipstick on him...

rednik

Osama - Michael Fassbender
Obama - Will Smith
Hilary - Meryl Streep
Seal 1 - Benicio Del Toro
Seal 2 - Michael Biehn
Seal 3 - The Rock

orourkeda

punchdrunk wrote: »

on a serious note I'd cast seth Gilliam (Sgt Carver from the wire) as Bin Laden

with a bit of make-up he'd be perfect and he's a great actor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0kASxEyWNo

Omar Little would have to be Bin Laden

mattjack

of all the films, this is the one I want to have a part in...maybe the helicopter pilot who falls in love with GEEEEEETA ....

Jesus Wept

Adamantium wrote: »

Unfortunately his type of "method acting" and immersion in this role could lead to forms of extremeism!!

We'd never get lewis back!

Would be worth it.

Oranage2

Director - Guy Ritchie


Osama - Danny "Put the beans on toast, the car into the bar, smash the granny in the box...and BOOM goes the towers" Dyer

Emma watson - as his wife/Human Shield

Vinnie Jones - Osama's son

Clive Owen as Obama

Michael Caine - george Bush

Helen Mirrian- Hilary Clinton

Jason Stathan as the Marine transporter who needs adreline every hour or he dies


The straight to Video blockbuster coming this summer.

RDM_83 again

Without a doubt Osama would have to be played by Christopher Lee, he's also massively tall, looks great in a beard with robes combo and is always Eviiiiilllllll...*

*though hollywood being the way it is these days the Al-Quida would have to be vampires (which explains their love of caves)

blackdog2

Have some muck about a group of men running through the desert, then splice in the ending from Gran Torino

Job done

weldoninhio

FFS Denzel would defo have to play Obama!!

JupiterKid

Osama Bin Laden - Johnny Ronan (developer with the beard and the slicked back hair)
The Woman He Loved - "Journalist" Alison O'Riordan
President Obama - Paul McGrath
President Bush - Colin Farrell
Hillary Clinton - Anne Robinson
Henchman 1 - Danny deVito
Henchman 2 - Russell Brand
Henchman 3 - Brendan O'Connor

Wooden Jesus

I would say the expendables 2 is going to be loosely based on this story.
If not then it should be

Saila

Obama as bin laden, just needs a fake beard and scraggy clothes

grenache

ForceOfNature wrote: »

For the inevitable summer blockbuster, who plays who??

Osama Bin Laden - Dustin Hoffman
The Woman He Loved - Geeta (from eastenders)
President Obama - Sam Jackson
President Bush - Steve Martin
Hillary Clinton - Cameron Diaz
Henchman 1 - Ross Kemp
Henchman 2 - Kevin Costner
Henchman 3 - Sanjay (from eastenders)
Goat #1 - The dog from Frasier

I hope you've been drinking because that is
possibly the worst casting ever thought up! Hoffman is 20 years older than Bin Laden and looks nothing like him. Unless you want him to wear face paint ala Team America style! Clinton is also much older than Cameron Diaz and there is little resemblance in looks or character. Somebody like Meryl Streep would be a much better choice. As for Costner and Kemp playing Arabs, its hardly worth thinking about

I also doubt very much they would choose Pakistani actors from an average English soap when there are hundreds of better ones in Bollywood and the States to choose from.

Keanu Reeves.

C81

Nicolas cage as Osama. -- with some tan and a fake beard and turbin!
G. Bush -- as G . Bush can't get anyone as stupid
Obama -- Bertie ahern
Osama wife 1 --- Kendra ex playgirl.
Osama dead brother-- Abu hamza
Seal team--- stalone, arnie S. ******,Bruce willis,eddie Murphy.

Director-- Quentin Tarintino.

superelliptic

shadowninty wrote: »

What??? no place for Glenn Beck?

Has the position of "Love interest for Goat #1" been filled?

Remmy

Deleted User wrote: »

Keanu Reeves.

I'd love to see that guy getting two in the head..

lolie

Osama bin laden -- Eamon from the bulmers add?
http://www.marketingweek.co.uk/sectors/food-and-drink/alcohol/magners-man-has-a-beard-of-bees/3025602.article

Oranage2

Cheap joke but hey:



Mary Harney as the twin towers!

tricky D

Osama Bin Laden - Yoda
The Woman He Loved - Miss Piggy
President Obama - Kermit
President Bush - Swedish Chef
Hillary Clinton - Big Bird
Henchman 1 - Bert
Henchman 2 - Ernie
Henchman 3 - Oscar the Grouch
Goat #1 - Animal

WindSock

There's a film about Osama out already but he is played by a little girl.

ForceOfNature

Ok after much consideration of all the input , here is the revised OFFICIAL line-up :

Osama Bin Laden : Dustin Hoffman
The Woman He Loved : Geeta (eastenders)
The Other Woman He Loved : Rupert Everett
President Obama : Paul McGrath
Young President Obama : Phil Babb
President Bush : Steve Martin
President Bush Senior : Rory Bremner
Hillary Clinton : Anne Doyle
Henchman 1 : Danny DeVito
Henchman 2 : Sanjay (eastenders)
Henchman 3 : Eddie Murphy
Henchman 4 : Dev (coronation street)
Henchman 5 : Mary Kate Olson
Goat #1 : The Dog from Frasier
Goats Ass #1 : Bill O Reilly
Narrator : Graham Norton


Dvd Extras include :
- Danny DeVito Pencil Case
- Season 1 of Faulty Towers
- Interview with David Schwimmer
- Oasis : Live from Maine Road (1995)