My mums a bitch

LegacyUser

Ive been dating a girl for the last few months and I genuinely feel that I am in love with her, its the greatest feeling ever!! Problem is it's about time to introduce her to my parents but I don't really want to! The thing is my mum is an absolute bitch! Not to your face or anything like that but if she's on the phone to her friends she'll spend hours picking every little fault she could possibly find! She always does it, my brothers girlfriend, my uncles wife, pretty much anyone!!! She has always been a great mother and I don't think she realises she does it but it would kill me to hear me speak about my girlfriend like that!! I don't want to say it to her cause I know if I told her it was because of her that they (my parents) weren't going to meet my girlfriend ir would upset her no end which I don't want to do! I love her and she's alway been a great mum apart from this!!

Fentdog84

Wouldnt worry too much about it. Its just something she does with her friends when she's run out of stuff to talk about. Just bring her home, introduce her and hold your head high. If you hear her making comments just say you wont have her saying stuff about your gf.

thecookingapple

lots of mothers do this, the only problem i see is why you need to call your mother such a degrading name on a public forum.

thecookingapple

There are other words to describe someone to in his own words he describes as a great mum. my mother is a gossip for instance, maybe its just the irony of the situation.

thecookingapple

I just think there are better ways to define her, calling his mother a bitch is no better than her gossiping about people via a phone.

thecookingapple

sunflower27 wrote: »

We are going off topic here, sorry OP. She bitches constantly, she is a bitch. She has no problem insulting anyone else by the sounds of it, so I don't see why anyone should take mercy on her.

She gossips and judges, 90% of the world does this, we are doing it now, because we do not know the extent of whats real and whats exagerated, the cycle is never broken when its treated with such contempt (bitch) i dont see this as of topic because in my opinion the op is judging his mother in the harshest of terms that she probaly judges other, sometimes its better to understand ourselves and then we can better understand others and resolve issues, in reality all he has to do is sit his mother down and say that he feels uncomfortable introducing his new gf to her because he realises that she can be very negative towards people and that he likes this girl and it is stopping him from introducing the two of them to each other.

calling his mother a bitch on a public forum is no better than his mother being nasty about other people via a phone, different means, same meaning.

thecookingapple

If everything was aggreable, life would be unbearable.:)

your last sentence was insigtful and something that did not occur to me.

I am not saying his mother is right, indeed she is not, but with calling her a bitch nothing will be resolved.

Esel

The OP should have described his mother as a bitcher.

Skuxx

sunflower27 wrote: »

She is what she is and I think it's admirable the OP is actually thoughtful enough to be wary of putting his gf through the usual scenario of his mother's nit-picking and insults.

I agree with this, its obvious that the girl means a lot to you OP and you are trying to protect her!
I don't know your situation but maybe you could talk to your dad about it and tell him that if your mum doesn't cop on then they aren't going to get to spend much time with your girlfriend! I'm sure that she just needs to be woken up to the fact that what she is doing is affecting you. She probly feels that its just her and her friends having a chat and its harming no one!

Kevin Duffy

Maybe trust your gf to see for herself what your mother can be like and trust all the people she bitches at to see what she's like. I'll bet people nod along and don't take it in anymore if she's been at it for a while.

Neyite

Mumsabitch wrote: »

The thing is my mum is an absolute bitch! Not to your face or anything like that but if she's on the phone to her friends she'll spend hours picking every little fault she could possibly find! She always does it, my brothers girlfriend, my uncles wife, pretty much anyone!!! She has always been a great mother and I don't think she realises she does it but it would kill me to hear me speak about my girlfriend like that!! I don't want to say it to her cause I know if I told her it was because of her that they (my parents) weren't going to meet my girlfriend ir would upset her no end which I don't want to do! I love her and she's alway been a great mum apart from this!!

Firstly, you say that it is maybe she does not even realise she is doing it, so its probably habit. She might be a great mother, but this is cruel behaviour - especially if it involves loved ones. You have two options:
1. Talk to her about it - which you say you dont want to do, or
2. Dont bring your girl home.

There comes a time in all our lives where we realise our parents are flawed humans, just like us. Some of us are unlucky to see that at a young age, others need the benefit of maturity to see how childish a parent can be. It sounds like you have a decent relationship with your mum, and this will not resolve itself unless you speak to her about it - or could your dad do it? Upsetting her will be a short term event - if you make her aware of her bad behaviour you might be doing her and everyone else a favour in the long run.

IrishEyes19

alan1990 wrote: »

I agree with this, its obvious that the girl means a lot to you OP and you are trying to protect her!
I don't know your situation but maybe you could talk to your dad about it and tell him that if your mum doesn't cop on then they aren't going to get to spend much time with your girlfriend! I'm sure that she just needs to be woken up to the fact that what she is doing is affecting you. She probly feels that its just her and her friends having a chat and its harming no one!

Good point there, just give it a shot and talk to her about it, you never know what could happen

I am a friend

Ok have a chat with your mum before you bring over the girl and say that you really like this girl and you want her to give her a chance..

Tell her you know she is very critical of people but you wont stand for her talking about your gf like that on any level.

Speak to her adult to adult and if she doesnt play ball then she doesnt get a second chance...