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friends after break-up?

  • 06-05-2011 2:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ive recently broken up with a guy I was friends with for years and seeing for a few months. I would consider him one of my best friends. He initiated the relationship shortly after breaking up with someone else and I was delighted. We were taking it fairly slow but I started to notice him getting more and more distant. When I brought it up he said he wasnt ready for a relationship. I was upset at first but the more I think about it, we are better as friends, and I dont want to go down that road again with him.

    He is keen to keep spending time together as we did when we were together (obviously without the physical side). I dont really have a problem with that, but is it a good idea? He is happy to be single for now, and so am I for the time being but I would like to meet someone eventually that wants a romantic relationship with me. Im aware it might seem fine now to be 'friends' but human nature being what it is, Im concerned this is dragging out eventual heartache when one of us meets someone else and no longer wants to spend so much time together.

    He was my friend for alot longer than he was my boyfriend, it seems overly dramatic to do the usual post break-up no contact thing. Has anyone gone through something similar? Id appreciate advice.


Comments

  • #2
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    I'm friends with a few exes, and why not ?

    Just because something doesn't work out for whatever reason doesn't mean they're not worth knowing or having in your life.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Im not disputing that its possible to be friends with an ex, but is speaking every day and making an effort to spend time together regularly a good idea?


  • #4
    inexperienced
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 76 ✭✭inexperienced


    hi, i suggest you talk with him about your concern you wrote here.

    i agree with you the frequent regular contact with the ex. is not necessary and is a hindle for you two to move on.

    you need to also consider your own feelings as well. how would you feel if he introduces his new dates to you? can you be geniunely happy for him atm and not a bit of sore when you meet the new she? if not, then, well, keep a distance and use your time you spend with him for own self exloration. or even use the time you spend with him to date other men who are ready and willing to love you.

    im not saying not to be friends, but just be careful not to get into a too deep emotional dependency and bonding between you two that would just make things too complicated and confusing.


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