White to a wedding

Pandoras Twist

There seems to be a lot of discussion about it lately. The comment below had me particularly baffled

Sibylla wrote: »

OP all the dresses are gorgeous but unfortunately very pale/white which is the one rule you cannot break attending a wedding, I know a cousin of mine wore a very light pink which looked quite white to a wedding the bride never spoke to her again.

If I was getting married the last thing I'd be worrying about is what the guests are wearing. I understand some people might want it to be the "one special day thing" but never talking to someone again is a bit ridiculous.

Btw didn't mean to pick on your comment Sybilla, just thought it summed up some of the things that have been floating around the board lately.


Do you think people react to white at a wedding a bit to extremely? To the point where colours that look even a little bit white aren't ok?

ElleEm

I don't think people over react, to be honest, and I wouldn't care that much about clothes and stuff.
The bride typically wears white on their wedding day. It is NOT cool to show up to a wedding wearing a similar colour dress as the bride.
There are LOADS of different colours that you can wear. Leave white/ beige/ cream alone!
A lot of the time if someone wears a pale dress to a wedding, they are the talk of the day. They can look similar in photos to the bride due to the dress and often are deemed attention seekers, (which I don't disagree with).
I think if you doubt whether it is appropriate to wear to a wedding, it probably is!

Sibylla

There is definite overreacting going on in relation to light blues/pinks. The guest in question wore a one shoulder full length dress very similar to the bride's dress and it did look quite white, I can understand her being upset but never speaking to her again seems awfully extreme. I think it's tradition for a guest not to wear white but light colours shouldn't be a problem. It's the bride's big day so why ruin it by wearing cream/white etc

lainey316

It doesn't really matter what I think personally but if the bride's not okay with it, the bride is not okay with it and that's it. I ended up in a row with a friend who asked me (as bm) if his gf would be ok in a strapless cream prom dress, knowing the bride I said no, really it wouldn't go down well and got the head eaten off me - "well she asked another bride for this other wedding we're going to and the bride laughed that of course it wasn't an issue" - so what, different bride.

I mean, you'd hope they'd only do it the once, let them have it how they want it.

Personally, I think erring on the side of caution is better. If the bodice looks like it could be a wedding dress (e.g. in photos) then avoid.

Dolbert

With all the colours of the rainbow to choose from, I would think someone insisting on wearing a white dress to a wedding to be a bit of an attention-seeker. Can't say I'd notice or care if I was the bride though and I certainly wouldn't fall out with someone over it!

Tayla

Pandoras Twist wrote: »

There seems to be a lot of discussion about it lately. The comment below had me particularly baffled



If I was getting married the last thing I'd be worrying about is what the guests are wearing. I understand some people might want it to be the "one special day thing" but never talking to someone again is a bit ridiculous.

Btw didn't mean to pick on your comment Sybilla, just thought it summed up some of the things that have been floating around the board lately.


Do you think people react to white at a wedding a bit to extremely? To the point where colours that look even a little bit white aren't ok?

Yea it's ridiculous for someone to never talk to someone again, however I don't think it's approapriate for someone to wear white to a wedding,
It sucks I know because most of the time IMO white dresses are the nicest ones, anytime I have a wedding to go to, all the dresses I love are white or very close to it.

Not only that but people always want to wear white because it is such a beautiful colour in particular when the person is after getting dolled up, nothing shows off a nice blowdry and perfectly groomed make up like a white dress.


Also many brides these days have off white or nude colour dresses so it really is safer to stay away from those colours.

Pandoras Twist

Pandoras Twist wrote: »

If I was getting married the last thing I'd be worrying about is what the guests are wearing. I understand some people might want it to be the "one special day thing" but never talking to someone again is a bit ridiculous.

I imagine if someone is that upset. That there is more to the story.
The dress may have been chosen deliberately to cause offense.

Pandoras Twist

I wouldnt wear white/cream and ivory myself.

But as mentioned, light blue and light pink should surely be fine.

Felt so sorry for the girl going to the dress where she couldnt wear red.

lainey316

Pandoras Twist wrote: »

Felt so sorry for the girl going to the dress where she couldnt wear red.

Yep that was mental. I'd love to know what she went with in the end. Scarlet woman MY AR$E. Ahem. Sorry about that.

Dolorous

Dolorous wrote: »

With all the colours of the rainbow to choose from, I would think someone insisting on wearing a white dress to a wedding to be a bit of an attention-seeker. Can't say I'd notice or care if I was the bride though and I certainly wouldn't fall out with someone over it!

Totally agree with you on this. It's just one colour, there are so many gorgeous coloured dresses out there why would you feel the need to wear White? But at the same time, I wouldn't be going falling out with people over it.

Other pastel colours though, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't wear them, BUT, if you think they'll look white in the photos then you might want to reconsider for your own sake

I don't think it's that the bride would be jealous of how another guest looked. It's that weddings are all about tradition. The biggest tradition is the dress. The bride wears a white/cream dress and everyone says she looks beautiful. Everyone knows that white/cream belongs to her and that it's a symbol of the occasion. For someone else to wear white, it's not that she's upstaging the bride, it's that it shows that she cares more about looking good in the dress she wanted than she does about being there for the happy couple. It's a sign of disrespect IMO. Most brides would be pretty cool about it but it shows really badly on the guest in question.

Dudess

Wearing a dress that looks like a wedding dress would be a bridge too far all right (a friend of mine was saying someone who works with him was telling people how she was thinking of wearing her own wedding dress to a friend's wedding... :eek:) but wearing a e.g. short dress or two-piece or whatever - basically something that doesn't look like a wedding dress - that's, ok maybe not white, but a variant on white (e.g. cream, very light pastel) with darker accessories and/or a pattern on it, is not going to cause confusion with/necessarily upstage the bride. In my opinion, to get very upset about that would be ridiculous.

Thought it was a bit strange all right though of Kate Middleton's sis to wear a white bridesmaid's dress.

Orlee

I feel like we are losing tradition in general. What's wrong with letting the bride have her white wedding and pick from any other colour under the sun. I would be pretty annoyed if someone wore white to my wedding, people know that traditionally only the bride wears white so why go out of your way to go against that? I would be especially annoyed if it was a close relative or friend!!!

I was about to start a thread on this myself the other day but I couldn't find the article I was looking for to back it up - I'm pretty sure it was Asos or maybe Next Direct that had an artice on their "White Trend" and how it was so passe to not be allowed wear white to a wedding.

At this stage it'll be on my invitations as a dress code! Ok ... I'm getting a little dramatic here but in all honestly I think it's a blatent act of disrespect to the bride to wear white!

(Wow, didn't realise I actually cared that much! It also really bugs me when people wear bright colours to funerals, if you're not going to wear black at least don't wear pink!!!)

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

Thought it was a bit strange all right though of Kate Middleton's sis to wear a white bridesmaid's dress.

If you look back through the pics of princess diana's and Sarah ferguson's weddings, the bridesmaids and flower girls all seem to wear white, I wonder if it's royal tradition?

Tayla

Deleted User wrote: »

If you look back through the pics of princess diana's and Sarah ferguson's weddings, the bridesmaids and flower girls all seem to wear white, I wonder if it's royal tradition?

It is royal tradition, I heard it on the radio when they were discussing the dresses!

Sibylla

Tayla wrote: »

It is royal tradition, I heard it on the radio when they were discussing the dresses!

I was shocked to see Pippa wearing white had no idea it was a tradition.

Novella

Personally, if I was getting married, I wouldn't care if every single one of my guests turned up wearing white. Surely people would know I was the bride seeing as they're at my wedding? Plus, it being my wedding day, I'd have a lot more important things on my mind and (hopefully!) be too happy to care about what I consider something as trivial as this.

That said, each to their own. If another woman doesn't want anyone in white at her wedding, fair enough. I don't get it, but different strokes and all that.

ElleEm

Sibylla wrote: »

I was shocked to see Pippa wearing white had no idea it was a tradition.

I figured that it must have been... it defo wouldn't be the "norm" at all!! I read on some other thread some posters having a "how dare she wear white" conversation but I very much believe that every minute of that wedding was overseen by a HUGE team of people. It wouldn't have been as simple as Pippa heading into Debenhams and picking out any dress she fancied!

ElleEm

ElleEm wrote: »

I read on some other thread some posters having a "how dare she wear white" conversation but I very much believe that every minute of that wedding was overseen by a HUGE team of people. It wouldn't have been as simple as Pippa heading into Debenhams and picking out any dress she fancied!

:pac:
That's hilarious!

eyescreamcone

Was at a wedding recently in Dubland and one of the female guests wore a white dress.
We refered to her all day as "The Stunt Bride"

If for any reason the bride couldn't perform any of her duties it's important to have a stunt bride to fill in!!!

Tayla

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ac/20110506/lf_ac/8394599_bridesmaids_in_white_its_a_royal_thing

In ancient times, the maid of honor was a sister or close friend of the bride who would help confuse any jealous men of the village or evil spirits who might want to abscond with the bride. By dressing similarly to the bride, these potential abductors would not be able to tell who was getting married. While the presence of royal protection officers nowadays would ward off any miscreants, Pippa Middleton's dress for her sister's wedding may hearken back to that tradition, or it may follow a more modern tradition, dating back to Queen Victoria, in which it is common for royal bridesmaids to dress to match the bride.

Toto Wolfcastle

I'd have no problem with any guest at my wedding wearing white or any variation of it. They'd all have been invited by me so they all know that I'm the bride and it's as easy to upstage the bride in any other colour as it is to upstage her in white. Anyone who gets upset about the fact that someone is wearing white to their wedding needs to step back and remember what the day is really about.

That said, I'd never wear white to a wedding. I never wear white full-stop. I've never ever seen a white dress that I've liked and anyway, I'd end up spilling something on myself.

Dudess

Novella wrote: »

Personally, if I was getting married, I wouldn't care if every single one of my guests turned up wearing white. Surely people would know I was the bride seeing as they're at my wedding? Plus, it being my wedding day, I'd have a lot more important things on my mind and (hopefully!) be too happy to care about what I consider something as trivial as this.

That said, each to their own. If another woman doesn't want anyone in white at her wedding, fair enough. I don't get it, but different strokes and all that.

Bobblehead Panda wrote: »

I'd have no problem with any guest at my wedding wearing white or any variation of it. They'd all have been invited by me so they all know that I'm the bride and it's as easy to upstage the bride in any other colour as it is to upstage her in white. Anyone who gets upset about the fact that someone is wearing white to their wedding needs to step back and remember what the day is really about.

+1. And not everyone considers tradition important. What if a guest turned up in a really eye-catching and revealing red dress? Would that be ok if it diverted attention from the bride because it's not white? Can't see how a woman wearing a fairly simple white dress that doesn't look like a wedding dress (which it wouldn't) would upstage the bride merely on the basis of the colour.

I think some people seem a bit brainwashed re that "rule".

Tayla

Dudess wrote: »

Can't see how a woman wearing a fairly simple white dress that doesn't look like a wedding dress (which it wouldn't) would upstage the bride merely on the basis of the colour.

Maybe the bride is wearing a knee length white dress or a 2 piece skirt suit in white, then the guest in white could end up looking very similar to the bride.

It's the brides day, I would hate if I was getting married and someone else turned up in white and i'm as laidback as they come but I still think it was very cheeky.

The boundaries have been pushed at weddings and now pretty much anything goes, tiny short dresses etc, are all fine but IMO only the bride should wear a white dress.

The thing about it is that if everyone started saying it's fine to wear white to a wedding, the next thing you'd see is women buying white maxi dresses and white long evening dresses and asking 'oh is this ok for a wedding'?

I think it's pretty clear why white isn't appropriate. Many weddings have guests where not everyone actually knows both the bride and groom. My cousin's wedding was pretty big and one girl turned up in a satiny white dress. More than a couple of guests thought she was the bride and she was really embarrassed. It does upstage the bride. I don't know why some people can't grasp that it's someone else's day. So what if all the nicest dresses are white? You're just a guest. Go for any of the other colours, ffs.

Pandoras Twist

I didn't really intend the thread to be about whether or not you can wear white to a wedding. It was more about do you think people massively overreact to colours like light blue and pink, or maybe a dress with a white fringe or whiteish pattern.

And in general about "colour rules" at weddings

Dolbert

Not having a go but you titled the thread 'white to a wedding', that would imply the direction you intended the thread to take...


In answer to your question I think people who freak out over pale pinks, blues, white trim etc at a wedding are a bit idiotic. There are a lot of outdated rules like no green (bad luck), no black (too mournful) or no red shoes (you intend to steal the groom :rolleyes: ) I've never actually heard anyone pass comment on any of these in real life except for when a guest's dress looks any way bridal though.

theg81der

You know normally I would have no problem with this but when I was getting married my friend, who was living with us at the time and isn`t irish so didn`t know about this, was going to wear a white dress - now she`s a size 8, 6 foot model so em... I told her very nicely that if she put that white dress on her I would kick her bony model ass back to where she comes from! Not that I was being jealous or anything

If I was getting married again I`d make everyone wear the same colour, even if it was white, it would look lovely in pictures. Other than being told why on earth would anyone want to put themselves in that position, unless you want to cause a fuss.

DebDynamite

I have to admit, I never actually heard about this rule at all until I got engaged myself and start going on wedding websites.

Perhaps some people you may seen wearing white at a wedding simply don't know about this rule?

Tayla

DebDynamite, although it's possible i'd say it is very rare that guests would not know about the tradition, most people discuss with their friends what they are going to wear to weddings, it's part of the fun of it, so most people would definitely know in advance.

Dudess

True. I hadn't a notion about the rule up to three years ago when one of my best friends got married and I bought a cream dress for her wedding! I wouldn't have bought a white one in fairness, knowing or not knowing the rule, but other people were telling me I shouldn't have gotten a cream dress. I teamed it up with darker accessories though (which I would have been doing anyway) and nope, I didn't get confused with the bride, nor did I upstage her.

amdublin

No no no no no no no no no.

No.

Just don't do it.

Chances are you will upset the bride. And definitely everyone will be talking about you.

I personally think it is the stupidest rule/tradition ever. And I certainly wouldn't care what my guests wore but most brides would (silly!) but there you go.

Best avoid.

Pandoras Twist

Dolorous wrote: »

Not having a go but you titled the thread 'white to a wedding', that would imply the direction you intended the thread to take...

Yeah I know, I didn't plan the title or OP very well. I blame study enduced exhaustion.

I wore a black and brown dress (it had a cream tribal design on it) to the only wedding I've ever had to go to (not my cup of tea at all). Hopefully nobody took it as "too mournful". There really was nothing in the shops that I liked!

I wore a white dress and black accessories to a couple of weddings before, nobody cared

amdublin

bluewolf wrote: »

I wore a white dress and black accessories to a couple of weddings before, nobody cared

As far as you know. I'd bet a €1000 people were talking about you behind your back.

It's a huge social no no.

pow wow

I genuinely don't see the problem with it - clearly those who don't see the problem are in the minority from the responses but even so, I wouldn't care if everyone wore white to my wedding. Thinking about who I'd invite to my wedding I don't envision it ever crossing my mind that anyone was trying to 'upstage' or 'disrespect' me by wearing white. When my sister got married the groom's sister wore a long white dress and the daggers flying across the dining room during the reception were ferocious. So on the basis that I know that virtually everyone else has an issue with it, I don't usually wear white to weddings myself

ElleEm

I just don't understand why someone would choose to wear white to a wedding when most bride's wear white.

If your mate was having a huge big birthday party and said they were wearing a purple dress, would any of you go looking specifically for a purple dress to wear to the party? I think not.

I just think it's safer not to wear white, as it is seen as the bride's colour on the day. It may not be about upstaging the bride, but more about looking similar in photos and having people bitch about you behind your back!

pow wow

ElleEm wrote: »

If your mate was having a huge big birthday party and said they were wearing a purple dress, would any of you go looking specifically for a purple dress to wear to the party? I think not.

No but if I had an awesome purple dress I felt amazing in then I wouldn't think twice about it. Now I might check it wasn't the exact same purple dress but other than that...why shouldn't I wear purple?

I guess some people view it as some kind of intentional slur on the bride/friend at her birthday party if you show up in the same colour outfit. I'm just not one of them.

As for people b!tching about me behind my back, life is far too short to care about that.

Bride2012

There are thousands of other colours to choose from, leave white for any other day of the year. I'd never wear white. I know of a bride's sister in law who did it, she wore a white bodice with a short white skirt and a long flowing white wrap. Could have been a wedding dress.

Aside from the white thing I honestly think that guests' dresses have become too short recently. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I think knee length or just below is most appropriate. It's not a time for guests to flash their thighs.

Tayla

Bride2012 wrote: »

There are thousands of other colours to choose from, leave white for any other day of the year. I'd never wear white. I know of a bride's sister in law who did it, she wore a white bodice with a short white skirt and a long flowing white wrap. Could have been a wedding dress.

Aside from the white thing I honestly think that guests' dresses have become too short recently. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I think knee length or just below is most appropriate. It's not a time for guests to flash their thighs.

Although i'm very against wearing white to a wedding I don't see a problem with short dresses. I was at a wedding recently and I must have searched for months to find a dress, I'm kind of an awkward height.....5ft 7 and a half so most nice dresses are very short on me but yet i'm not tall enough for the taller ranges.
I looked everywhere, literally everywhere for a nice knee length or above the knee dress but I could not find one and in the end I did get a short one but it was one shoulder and so didn't show off any cleavage so it still looked like a nice classy dress even though it was short.

ams

Is this tradition an Irish thing? Its just that Ive seen a lot of UK fashion bloggers recently posting pics of dresses that they have bought for weddings and they've all been creamy off/white colours!

Aprilmay

amdublin wrote: »

As far as you know. I'd bet a €1000 people were talking about you behind your back.

It's a huge social no no.

I agree 100% I'd say people were talking about it- Major faux pas wearing white to someone else's wedding- I was at a wedding where someone wore a long white dress everyone was talking about it and someone in the hotel not with the wedding party asked this girl if it was her wedding that day.

Pandoras Twist

Calling mods...Can I get a thread title change to "People over-reacting certain colours at weddings"

Really should have phrased it better

LizT

I wouldn't do it because I'm very self conscious as it is, someone only has to look at me and then I'm paranoid about what I'm wearing.

Having said that, I think a bride should be focusing on enjoying her wedding day, not the fact that someone wore a white dress to their wedding.

dudara

Bride2012 wrote: »

Aside from the white thing I honestly think that guests' dresses have become too short recently. Maybe I'm just old fashioned but I think knee length or just below is most appropriate. It's not a time for guests to flash their thighs.

Have to personally agree with this. Dresses in general are short at the moment, and a lot of dresses that have appeared here recently in threads are far too short for a wedding (in my view!). A lot look more suitable for a nightclub, rather than a church event.

But there you go, maybe it's the fact that I'm not in my twenties anymore

Aprilmay

dudara wrote: »

Have to personally agree with this. Dresses in general are short at the moment, and a lot of dresses that have appeared here recently in threads are far too short for a wedding (in my view!). A lot look more suitable for a nightclub, rather than a church event.

But there you go, maybe it's the fact that I'm not in my twenties anymore

I know this is off topic slightly but reading your quote just reminded me of a FUNERAL I was at :eek: A lot were dressed like they were going to a club (lots of leopard print and while I like it -it would have made Bet Lynch from Corrie blush)and I'm not only talking about the younger crowd but some of the older women who you think would know better

LizT

dudara wrote: »

Have to personally agree with this. Dresses in general are short at the moment, and a lot of dresses that have appeared here recently in threads are far too short for a wedding (in my view!). A lot look more suitable for a nightclub, rather than a church event.

But there you go, maybe it's the fact that I'm not in my twenties anymore

I'm only 21 and I think I dress should be a certain length. A wedding is a formal occasion and I don't think what you'd wear to a nightclub would be suitable. Even though some people got it very wrong for the royal wedding (Beatrice and Eugenie, I'm looking at you), it was nice to see everyone dressed up really formally.