Regrets about when you were young?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm a guy and in my late teens and I always feel really stupid when I think of things that I did a few years ago.

Some of them are more serious than others and then some of them were just me being a foolish and naive youngster.

When I was younger, in my mid teens I never felt like ANYBODY would ever like me and I used to try and use online sites to contact girls, get their numbers and see them on webcam, things like that with other teenagers. Stuff normal people would have done in person but I had no confidence to talk to actual people as I used to always get slagged in school for how I looked and acted, I also used to be scared of any confrontations and would let people just walk all over me. When I think of things like this now I just cringe as I realise how dumb I was but it was honestly the only female contact I thought I'd ever have.

I also had very few friends. In the whole of 4th year I would say I could count on one hand the amount of times I had contact with people my age outside of school. I was always so lonely and the only thing that would keep me going was sport, I really think I would have lost my mind if I didn't have at least that to focus on. I'm pretty sure that I was depressed during this time and it really was one of the most difficult times of my life.

When I was around primary school I was always very trusting of people and I never really had any problems until I moved school in 6th class. I didn't play rugby in the school, I was new, people used to slag me all the time and I must say I was quite shy and reserved which made it even harder. I used to cry a lot which would bring even more abuse out, as dumb as their logic must have been.

Thing is that as I got older, I did get wiser. I no longer cry all the time, I'm not as naive (although I can be a bit oblivious at times and I get some stick for that), I have become friends with people that used to be enemies and I'm able to approach girls without much problems and I wouldn't change anything about my life to date as it's made me into the person I am. And I'm proud of who I am. I honestly find it hard to believe how I evolved through the years and changed as a person.

But every so often I just feel this bout of feeling really stupid about things people did to me, stupid things that I did in the past that brought it on and I especially regret that I never reacted in any way as I was very placid person. This is one thing that has changed, although I still would never hit anyone I do get easily angered nowadays, something that would never happen in the past as I'd probably have cried as opposed to getting riled up.

I have got beyond what happened in the past and how upset I was back then and I am very happy with my life at present but I was wondering does anybody else feel ashamed about things that happened to them, getting bullied, being foolish and naive.

I don't know what my purpose of this post was, I just wanted to get that out there, to see if anybody else has had a similar experience or still thinks about things that they regret doing/or not doing in their past.

Thanks for reading and I hope it helps people see that difficult periods in life do end, or that someone can at least relate to it.

ekav

Hi there
I reckon there are loads of people who feel like you, its not really something people talk about though. I've had thoughts like yours and sometimes still do, I've done a good few things i regret for sure. Like you said it comes in bouts and my way of handling it is not to let the regrets eat me up, I rationalise the runaway negative thoughts in my head & try to learn something about myself in the process so that hopefully I can move on a bit, or even move sideways!
I was well into my 20s before I started thinkin about any of this stuff, you sound like a pretty mature guy. Anyway cheers for your post, its good to know other people are only human too!

greenprincess

we all have regrets. You are still really young. A fair amount of people dont look back on their school years as a great time. But you seem to do doing really well with your life now.

Soon you'll hardly even remember school and the 'past' will be these times so just enjoy it

Firetrap

I'd imagine quite a few of us look back on our younger days and cringe. I know I do which is why I don't look back on the bad stuff too often. It is better to file it all under The Past and leave it there. Learn from these experiences and use them to make sure you become a better person,