Joing the military but will miss my friends

effluent

I'm joing the British military in the near future, but lately the thoughts of actually going have made me feel a little uneasy. I know we all have to leave home and the most important thing is a job and making money, but I think friends are priceless. I've been blessed with having good friends since I was six. I've been to college and haven't meet as good a friend as these people. I know this sounds really silly, but a part of me feels like getting a local job and settling down here for life. It sounds very cossy but there would be many draw backs. I can't obviously do this with my future career either. I'm not sure if these feelings are normal, or if it's just me being nieve.

It would probably be different if I went for the Irish army as I'd be closer to home and could visit home much more. I'm not sure if I should tell them what I'm doing, I was thinking of just saying that I'm going over to the UK for work, I know that good friends should be ok . I could actually tell people that I'm joining the Irish army and could have a little going away party/few drinks before I go. I could also come home and go about my normal bussiness without getting some stick off someone about being in the British Military.

I don't mean to ramble but what I'm getting at is that for years I've really wanted to join the army but when the time actually comes I think I'll find it very hard to say goodbye to my friends and family. I'm not sure how I'll tell them, I really do have to tell because I'd feel awfu if I didn't and just left it like that.

kerryman12

dude that reaction sounds pretty normal to me. you are embarking on life changing path. but that doesn't mean you have to completely leave your past behind. Keeping in touch with people has never been easier so take advantage of all the technology out there.

AS for telling people, I would be careful about who I tell given where you are going. I am not trying to freak you out or dis wade you but being in the British army could make you a target for some people. You could say funk them it their problem, and it is but its something you should bear in mind. If you haven't told you family to date then this is something you should do sooner rather than later I think, they will need time to get used to the idea of you leaving.

Best of luck to you - and stay safe.

effluent

kerryman12 wrote: »

dude that reaction sounds pretty normal to me. you are embarking on life changing path. but that doesn't mean you have to completely leave your past behind. Keeping in touch with people has never been easier so take advantage of all the technology out there.

AS for telling people, I would be careful about who I tell given where you are going. I am not trying to freak you out or dis wade you but being in the British army could make you a target for some people. You could say funk them it their problem, and it is but its something you should bear in mind. If you haven't told you family to date then this is something you should do sooner rather than later I think, they will need time to get used to the idea of you leaving.

Best of luck to you - and stay safe.

Yeah it just seems like I've been thinking/physically training myself about this for years, but when the time com
es to go I start having these feelings (mind you i'll be waiting around a year before I go).

As silly as it sounds I've even thought about joining the FFL, to possibly rule out and trouble that may be directed at me or my family at home and to feel at ease to tell people what I'm actually doing. But my reasons for joining the FFL would be disingenuous. I've told my family, their ok with it just the injury/death part is what bothers them. I've thought about telling my friends that I'm joing the Irish army, I mean what difference would it be two them which one I join, but I'd be lying to them and I don't like lying to people.

kerryman12

Yeah it just seems like I've been thinking/physically training myself about this for years, but when the time com
es to go I start having these feelings (mind you i'll be waiting around a year before I go).

I really think that is totally normal, so dont let it turn you off - provided you are really happy with what you are doing here?

As silly as it sounds I've even thought about joining the FFL,

that is not silly I though about it several times or the USMC.

I've thought about telling my friends that I'm joing the Irish army,

I dont think you should lie about it - leaves you open to getting caught out.

I mean what difference would it be two them which one I join, but I'd be lying to them and I don't like lying to people.

I guess it shouldnt but given our countries history it is bound to happen.

there are often threads on this in the military forum, maybe these will be of help to you

AJG

I had a Canadian friend who joined the British Army in 2002. He was really driven to join some kind of armed force for whatever reasons. He'd even managed to get into the French foreign legion briefly but for family reasons had to leave it after a few weeks.

Anyway after having joined the British Army he immediately regretted it. From his stories it seemed to be full of illiterate, violent goons who had a penchant for drink and drug taking in their down time. As soon as the Iraq/Afghan thing kicked off most of his unit seemed pre-occcupied with the thoughts of going over there and blowing up and shooting people (it kind of made sense to me how you hear of so many troops being killed by 'friendly fire').

He was immediately filled with dread at the prospect that he too might someday during his service have to go there (believe it or not it's much safer watching the carnage on T.V. in your living room). Luckily though if you show any kind of aptitude you can land yourself a desk job since it seemed most of his unit could barely read (his words).

Anyway I'd see him from time to time during his 3 or 4 years service and there were times he was seriously considering going AWOL. Remember that once you've signed on the dotted line they effectively own you for that period of time. He coped by saving money for his holiday leave and traveling as much as he could.

He's back in Canada now and glad to put the whole thing behind him.

Milk & Honey

Most people going off to work on their own early in life feel that way. Apprehension is natural. I know some who were reluctant to go and leave their friends only to find that their friends left one by one and they were on their own at home. I remember the days in the army when a recruit getting a phone call was big news. He would be called down to the orderly room from what ever part of the barracks he was in and would be slagged by all and sundry. Friends can keep in touch across countries nowadays much more easily that they could across counties years ago.
In the army new friendships will be formed. It is impossible to undergo intensive military training without developing strong friendships with at least some of the other participants.

discus

effluent wrote: »

I'm joing the British military in the near future, but lately the thoughts of actually going have made me feel a little uneasy. I know we all have to leave home and the most important thing is a job and making money, but I think friends are priceless. I've been blessed with having good friends since I was six. I've been to college and haven't meet as good a friend as these people. I know this sounds really silly, but a part of me feels like getting a local job and settling down here for life. It sounds very cossy but there would be many draw backs. I can't obviously do this with my future career either. I'm not sure if these feelings are normal, or if it's just me being nieve.

It would probably be different if I went for the Irish army as I'd be closer to home and could visit home much more. I'm not sure if I should tell them what I'm doing, I was thinking of just saying that I'm going over to the UK for work, I know that good friends should be ok . I could actually tell people that I'm joining the Irish army and could have a little going away party/few drinks before I go. I could also come home and go about my normal bussiness without getting some stick off someone about being in the British Military.

I don't mean to ramble but what I'm getting at is that for years I've really wanted to join the army but when the time actually comes I think I'll find it very hard to say goodbye to my friends and family. I'm not sure how I'll tell them, I really do have to tell because I'd feel awfu if I didn't and just left it like that.

I'm in the exact situation as you mate - same job as well! My mates are fantastic, I know most of them since we went to the same playschool, all went to college together, and went travelling etc. I'm finding it hard to justify leaving it behind, but I'm telling myself that everyone will be settling down soon, and I won't see them as much regardless of wether I'm home or abroad. Stick to your guns man, (no pun intended) do your thing in the army and tell them you're starting a new job in england. Just lie

tenchi-fan

A spell away from home never did anyone any harm. On the other hand, as you will gradually grow apart from childhood friends (they might emigrate, marry and find many other reasons to move away). If you don't want to be the one left behind I suggest putting your insecurities behind you and living a little.

As for telling the friends you're joining the british army, i'm sure your friends won't mind but your family home could easily be a target for the unemployed, ignorant and truly despicable drug pushers and murderers commonly known as the rira. Be careful!

Tell people you're working for a security company