she happened to have a kid!!

LegacyUser

I went on sat on my own to the downtown for a drink, and I met a girl (who looks 16!!) but shes 22, and we had our share of talking, and both had only 1 pint, so we were coherent enough!

we talked about almost everything, and she was fairly open and blunt in everything, and one thing i noticed and didnt like, that while walking in the city she got stopped (or she stopped guys) by guys she know and everyone she spent around 5 mins with! it almost drove me crazy the amount of guys shes knows.. it reminded me by old female friends who are called "bitch" according to girls standards.

Now, shes your 8/10 lady, and I think physically, (according to guys) 9.5% so things lead to leave to my house, where we watched a movie before we began to foul around.


Anyway, we soon ended up in the bed room, and later after an hour she went into panic mood that she want to go home, and when i asked why, she told me that she has a kid!!! i thought shes liying and want to get rid of me.

however, during that she began to give me the "guilty feeling" for not telling me before, and she began to say nice things about her son, which i totally ingored, because my head was in my dick that time.


anyway, today is a new day, and there is a mixed feeling, a part of my brain say: keep her as **** buddy, and other part says totally ignore not only because she has a daughter, but also because she has a lot of guy friends, who may play a good role in everything!


whats your advice on that? is it appropriate to ask her in a professional way or act at least like we can have sex from time to time and she doesnt expect anything in return (a relationship, amrriage,...etc).. or just stop the whole thing?? or persue her (though im very affraid of being with a single mom due to many facts and complications based on friends and ppl experiences) ...Im lost and need your help pllllsssss.


she's nice person, but after hiding that she has a kid, i felt insecure about many other information that might be lies (including being nice!)

Acoshla

For both of your sakes just leave her alone and don't pursue anything with her. You don't like that she has male friends, you don't like that she has a child and that she didn't tell you outright, you don't want a relationship with her, really all you like is her looks, would that be fair to say? And to be honest I don't think you're the right kind of guy she should be having any sort of relations with if you think these things about her, I don't mean that in as harsh a way as it might sound, I just think neither of you will benefit from this if you pursue her.

LighterGuy

op,
you're going to get everyone coming out of the woodwork saying why she didnt tell you why she had a kid, its ok, etc etc etc :rolleyes:

fact is, you have your reservations about not wanting to have anything more than sex with her. So stick to your instincts. Despite what people say.

But as it stands you dont know where things are right now. For all you know she might never want to contact you again/or send a few texts then stop contact (ie, it was just a one 1 night stand for her) ... So just text her sometime, see if you and her are still in contact by the weekend... if you are meet up and just use the classic cliche "i'm not looking for anything right now but i like being with you" ... aka f**k buddies. Then just see where things are at.

banie01

going un reg! wrote: »

and she began to say nice things about her son, which i totally ingored, because my head was in my dick that time.

going un reg! wrote: »

and other part says totally ignore not only because she has a daughter,

Yeah its easy to see you were thinking with your dick ^^^

Seriously though i'm at a loss to see how she 'hid' anything from you!

From my reading of your post you met her for the 1st time on Saturday night?
Yet you already have issues that she spoke to other guys while she was with you?
In the couple of hour's that you were speaking to her, you feel that because she didn't disclose her family situation immediately that she misled you?
And then because she had to go home and take care of the kid( son? Daughter? 2 for all the attention you paid) She was putting you on a guilt trip?

Now to top that off, your wondering about persuing a relationship with a girl in case you become a 'role model' after one date???

OP relationships take time to develop, not every single parent out there is in a race to catch a new mam or dad for their kid!

If the way I understand your post is correct, just enjoy the fact that it happened at all and leave it develop(assuming she even wants to see ya again)

But I'll be honest with ya, if I was a mate of the girl who read your post(just the way it comes across).....
I'd tell her not to bother with you!

LegacyUser

Er......why have you got it into your head she would expect marriage/relationship 'in return' for sex ?

Getting a bit ahead of yourself aren't you? And why do you assume you can keep her as a f**k buddy? It doesn't sound as though she's stuck for male company to me.

Has it occurred to you that she just wanted a one night stand and that's it?

I'd leave it well enough alone. I think she just wanted sex.

Firetrap

Is this story for real?

If it is, I don't see what exactly it is that the OP wants. It's a classic one night stand, albeit with the shock of the woman having a kid thrown in for good measure. His brain was in his pants and I'm not sure it has left there since then.

IrishEyes19

Id say this young woman doesnt want to be messed around, OP, and you've made it clear here its all you want, so dont use her. I doubt her child deserves that either even if the girl agrees. Her commitments will be to her child as they should be.

LegacyUser

thanks guys.

to make this clear: Im NOT here to hear lessons and rants about what happened or about how Im mentally ill. Im here to hear a clear answer to my question at the end of the story.

Thanks for everyone contributed here. in fact my question - and i should have be more clear, is according to her implies about relationships and on how she was eager to settle down with a man before its too late. I avoided answering her at all, and even avoided to say: lets make it open relation or any sort of friends at all! i just kept silent.

shes just very into me, abvously not because im brad pitt, the irish version! but because Im in great financial position, great life, great everything! and i could see her eyes rolling in my house parking looking at my cars! - Im not braging, Im just saying an example.

Now, I felt like at least we could be friends - To the guy/lady who said that i dont like her having friends, no i dont mind that at all, but I mind being out with her, and she just spend 90% of the time intrupting our speech to talk to her friends she meets while walking! - now, I can tell, that non of the guys looked smart, all looked scums and all looked very dodgy.

LegacyUser

LighterGuy wrote: »

op,
you're going to get everyone coming out of the woodwork saying why she didnt tell you why she had a kid, its ok, etc etc etc :rolleyes:

fact is, you have your reservations about not wanting to have anything more than sex with her. So stick to your instincts. Despite what people say.

But as it stands you dont know where things are right now. For all you know she might never want to contact you again/or send a few texts then stop contact (ie, it was just a one 1 night stand for her) ... So just text her sometime, see if you and her are still in contact by the weekend... if you are meet up and just use the classic cliche "i'm not looking for anything right now but i like being with you" ... aka f**k buddies. Then just see where things are at.

LighterGuy! Thanks a million! you read my mind man!

the thing made it complex (as in making me think about the thing) is her keeping in touch and texting after the sex and early morning and until this moment!

the last passage is brilliant - will text her now and see what she will answer!

cheers!

IrishEyes19

I'm sorry but you just come across as bragging and so on, she can talk to who she likes and you dont know her, so dont assume her eyes will be rolling when she see's ALL YOUR CARS either. Not all women are born with dollar signs in their eyes :rolleyes:

Id say just leave her be.

Firetrap

You're jumping an awful lot of guns here. You don't know the first thing about this woman. She could be the local bicycle for all you know. She could be a gold-digger. She might have just wanted you for sex because you had a pulse and were male. How do you know she doesn't have a boyfriend already? Or perhaps she does like you. My point is, you're coming up with an awful lot of scenarios after just one evening. Half of which would have been coloured by the prospect of the pair of you bumping uglies at some stage.

It's up to yourself how to go from here. I'm sure she'll let you know what the story is from here.

LegacyUser

Firetrap wrote: »

You're jumping an awful lot of guns here. You don't know the first thing about this woman. She could be the local bicycle for all you know. She could be a gold-digger. She might have just wanted you for sex because you had a pulse and were male. How do you know she doesn't have a boyfriend already? Or perhaps she does like you. My point is, you're coming up with an awful lot of scenarios after just one evening. Half of which would have been coloured by the prospect of the pair of you bumping uglies at some stage.

It's up to yourself how to go from here. I'm sure she'll let you know what the story is from here.

Its clear now that the lady is accepting the fact that Im not looking for anything - but sex if possible - no clear answer on that yet, as i told it may develop over time, but I cant see it developing, but who knows.. will give it a shot and see.

dublin daz

The best thing for you to do is leave this girl alone and count your money.

When she talked about settling down, maybe she was talking about the future, which most normal people do.

Most people want to settle down, this lady has a child and so the mother instinct is to settle down more than someone without children.

I think you're reading too much into this. You've also a major chip on your shoulder, referring to her friends as scummer types!

Best keep away from this girl for her sake. She doesn't need someone so judgmental in her life.

Also, her first priority will always be her child. You showed your selfish side again thinking with your dick.

You're the wrong type for her and she could really do without negative people like you around.

Ickle Magoo

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Many thanks.

LegacyUser

I began to regret opening the topic here. All what I see is dentists blaming the patient for not brushing his teeth - while their job is to fix the teeth not to curse the dark.

I will really appreciate if the moderator just drop the whole thread. I will find some where else where there is no hate and destructive comments. thanks