Affording college or a fresh start

LegacyUser

Hi guys

Im a 2nd year in college studying computer science and I have ran out of money. Long story short my parents have their own financial difficulties and I have been paying my own way through college. I havnt been able to find work and TBH I am not happy in college at the moment.

The thing is I always wanted to be a game designer and always wanted to go to this college in the states called Digipen. Its supposed to be an amazing experience for anyone passionate in the field. It also costs around $40,000 a year. To work with people as passionate about the same things as myself and from a career point of view many of the most successfull gaming startups have come from graduates who met there.

Although the stuff I am studying at the moment is very similar and the degree is probably a better one in the sense that it doesnt just cover games I have been miserable there. I enjoy the course but between affording college, the 4 hours a day travelling to get there and the lack of a social life on campus and the fact that I have no money to do anything ever, I just cant stand it. It shows in my grades too. Things are a lot more stable now and Ive returned to getting Bs and Cs but my previous poor grades and lack of knowledge because I did poorly in those earlier courses is really holding me back and even though I have made great improvements I am still behind (because I transferred from a non related course I was also already a years experience behind everyone to start with)

Things at home have been pretty bad, my parents are married only in the legal sense. For years my dad has slept in the same room as me and the tension in the house is getting pretty unbearable. It boiled over a few weeks ago when my dad grabbed me and In anger I punched my hand through a mirror (not the smartest move I know). The house is a bad environment to grow up in and has left me with a slightly warped view of how people treat each other. I am often times surprised when I hang over at other peoples houses or crash on campus by how everyone treats each other. Its so much better. My parents arnt bad parents, they're just incredibly cold and far too busy dealing with their own problems to notice us. They're stressed and it explains a lot of the passive aggressive behaviour I receive from them.

I really just want a second chance. I've learnt a lot from my mistakes, have become a more mature and focused person and would love to find a way to get into a good game design college, create an environment for myself that would help me grow as a person and work hard. If the fees for digipen were somewhat more realistic I would consider dropping out and finding a job to pay my tuition. From my previous experience I've realised that working during college affects my grades very badly. I havnt met a student who did'nt have there grades affected in some way but this seems to affect me more. It's probably because the constant repetition of college,work and going home to that stressfull environment does'nt give me much relief.

I dont know what to do. Am I just being a foolish dreamer? I feel really bad having these thoughts about college. Ive tried to just carry on with things but I cant deny it anymore, im miserable there and the thought of a two more years there is unbearable. I feel like I will have a breakdown if I continue with the current routine.

If anyone could help advise me on finding my second chance I would really appreciate it.

The_Conductor

40k a year for the course in the states- versus whatever the current course costs? You're going to pull yourself up in your current- as you've said yourself- you're back to getting Bs and Cs- which while not the most amazing results under the sun, are reasonable enough grades.

I'm inferring that you've got siblings living in the same conditions as you with your parents? Do these feature in any of your plans?

You don't really have a roadmap at the moment- you are unhappy doing a course in Compsci- and looking at another, by your own admission, less attractive, course, as an opt out- but with no idea how to fund that course.

40k a year to do a course is a shocking amount of money- if you're having financial problems at the moment doing your current course- how on earth do you reckon you'll somehow magic up this 40k + living expenses?

Lots of people are in the same boat as you- I used have labs until 8.30PM 3 nights a week, and 9AM starts every single day- my friends who were doing arts degrees were simultaneously amused and startled at this.

While home life may be crap- it is a roof over your head, and while you may feel you've got problems with your current course- if the only alternate you have is one which is going to cost 40k+ per year (I'm guessing its a 4 year course- so allowing for living expenses you're looking at $200k+ in debt- money you simply don't have).

Living the high life is all well and good- unfortunately it has to be paid for though- and until such time as you get a job or some other means of supporting yourself- the course in the states at 40k a year, is a pipe dream.

Looking away from games design- your current course is much broader in nature- and far more likely to result in a job at the end of the day. I'd much rather to do game design myself- instead of database maintenance- however my current job pays the bills, and in the current climate, that is as much as any of us can wish for.

Regarding your current financial crisis- all of the colleges have hard-ship funds which assist people in situations like you. If your parents are in financial difficulties- its highly probable that you'd qualify for the student grant too- and then you have student loans from AIB/BOI etc- all of which can be leveraged to provide the necessary cover for you.

You need to sit down- and do up a roadmap. Whats feasible, what isn't feasible. Forget about feeling sorry for yourself because other students have a social life- you need to make the most of the cards you currently have, and leverage them to ensure you get value out of what you're doing.

Computer Science is a good degree- and there are good prospects in IT- despite the appalling state of the world economy. Talk to a guidance counsellor and perhaps sign up to some of the websites to get a feel of which areas have the best employment prospects- whatever that may be.

Games development is all well and good- and its good to have dreams- however you really will be throwing the baby out with the bath water if you toss your current course in the hope of doing that course in the states.

tenchi-fan

Op, first up, the reality check.

You won't be going to that college in the US. The fees are ridiculous and even though it turned out a few successful graduates, chances are most of their graduates will be struggling with their student loans for the rest of their lives. I think it's also a case of faraway hills are greener. You need to make the most of your current situation.

The commute you're doing is crazy and your home environment sounds rotten. I certainly couldn't take myself seriously in college first time round as I was living at home like a child in a close to unbearable domestic situation!

But your grades... that's all you, I'm afraid. Everyone has their issues and everyone can blame something for their bad grades. "i was sick; i suffered depression; i was fighting a lot with my girlfriend; my granny died; i had to work part-time because i didn't get the grant; i didn't really like my course but my careers guidance counsellor told me to do it; my lecturer's no good."

I think you'd be happier if you moved out of home and closer to college.

You will need to, (1) maximise your income and (2) minimise your expenses.

(1) part-time work ; give grinds to secondary school students ; student loan (not really income but treat it like a weekly allowance) ; ASK YOUR PARENTS for an allowance or for money towards books (hard to do, but every little helps) ; see if student grants are available
(2) no beer ; don't buy newspapers or bottled water ; pack a lunch ; eat a lot of rice and/or pasta ; get involved with clubs and societies (not necessarily in your college) , join the college gym and do some evening classes - these can be low cost compared to drinking and other hobbies; you'll also be saving on transport costs by moving closer to college

LegacyUser

OP here
Thanks for getting back to me.

You guys are definitely right about not being able to afford it. Heck I cant even afford college here. Its just a dream ive always had.

As for the college grades, Im aware I am in charge of how I do and am trying to create an environment that will better enable me to get better grades and be more motivated.
My energy levels are really low these days I am struggling to find the motivation to do anything. This often happens to me around exam times and I have yet to find an effective way of snapping myself out of it. Bs and Cs are a large improvement over the horrible grades I got in easier courses in the first year (didnt count towards my GPA thankfully).

I hope to build upon this and improve even further by improving my environment and developing better study skills. My study skills are really poor. I just cant focus when Im by myself and start to feel really lonely. I could spend hours studying and just procrastinate the whole time. I learn great in a group but study groups rarely happen. I plan to use the summer to work on my programming. I spend far too much time doing assignments relative to my class and if I can get more efficient with my time it will free up time to relax.

I need to get a social life again, even if it's not much, it would really help me blow off some steam and feel more relaxed.

As for moving out I cant afford to do so. TBH I spend almost all my time in college and just come home late to sleep so I have learnt to avoid home unless it's the weekends and most of the time things are fine there since everybody is doing there own thing in seperate rooms. It would be nice to have a room to myself or a quiet place to study but I can get by. Any way to reduce the commute would be great but since I dont own a car im unsure of what to do to fix this.

Getting a loan may be an option if anywhere would consider me. It would allow me to focus on college and have a social life at the same time. Other possibilities include taking a year off if I can find work and saving up the money I need.

bobdole968

40k a year to learn how to make computer games is absolute madness. you have started your course try to finish it and get a good feel for computers programming etc.
all you need to make computer games these days is a computer and a room. try the modding scene and work with an online team and get a successful mod made.
this can all be done while still doing your current course.
go to events and meet other people that are into making computer games. its hard these days to do it all on your own but if you can get working with some like minded folk you might stand some chance.

LegacyUser

I'd agree with the other posters; the matter of the fact is is that you cannot afford U.S. fees, and I'd leave it at that. However, don't lose all hope. What I would do in your situation is what some of the other posters were suggesting - try to move out for the next academic year. Move in with friends in your course or randomers (that can work out very well!).

The other thing I would do is talk to one of your lecturers. Tell them that from a young age you've been interested in Game Design and would love to use C.S. to get into the field. You could then look into postgraduate courses in that University (Digipen?) and see if you can do a graduate course in Game Design for C.S. graduates. They could possibly give tuition bursaries to international students who achieve good grads. A B and a C standard is good but is on the high end of average (let's be very honest about it). If you want to really do this with your life you're going to have to compete with the big shots. Try get your standard up by a whole grade to A's and B's. Take every single assignment you do seriously, as if it were a small but important step into your career path. This will let you continue to be interested in your degree while improving your overall standard.

Yes, forget about doing an undergrad here. You are not your parents and you can build an independent life of your own and let them to it. Start making decisions that will make you happy and start sticking up for yourself. No father should sleep in the same room as his son, simple as that. You deserve your own space.

My parents are in a similar situation. My father is the crazy one and my mother is overbearing but a great woman. I can't walk as easily away from this situation as you can (it seems). So get up and leave.

LegacyUser

OP what game design have you done up until now? Any ideas/sketches/scripts? It's a ridiculously hard industry to crack into, and it really has to be something you think about all the time. If you're not losing sleep over game ideas right now then stop fantasising about the $40k a year course. Development houses don't care about your college, they care about your work, your experience and your grades.

In addition to the advice given earlier in the thread to try move out to somewhere near college, I would urge you to finish your degree while doing game design in your own time on the side. The skills you learn in a computer science course are the same skills used in creating games. You don't walk into a job designing Bioware's next RPG, you get in as an engineer soldier and work your way up. Sounds bleak but it's the truth.

What is it about your course that you don't like? Do you have the option to finish in third year and take an ordinary degree?

Also there are numerous colleges in Ireland that offer courses in game design now, they're only a year or two long and a damn sight cheaper than the American one. Plus there are quite a few gaming devs in Ireland nowadays.