been here ever since (short story/prose)

limra

"have a cup of coffee!"

"have a god damned cup of coffee!"

the menacing drunk lady threatened from the other end of the log. I knew if I refused I would be murdered in cold blood so I poured myself a cup and relaxed. suddenly the forest erupted with naked people of all shapes and sizes, genders and colours, revelling and playing some sort of strangely serious game with the leaves and the seedlings.

"i speak your language dreamwalker"
she said amongst the foliage and nudity

then she transformed me into a root and i've been here ever since!

"i like the tall trees and possess the power to time travel
i am the weaver of all fate" she explained later

what? i said,
is it true?

oh yes
though its smart for you to ask because there are many imitators
as you have come to realize in these past few days
but i have woven them as well and perhaps in a way they have woven me out of their own times and threads from the manna
also have i woven you
and woven your conundrum
and its resolution

i weave because im empty
thus they are only dream webs
a dreamer like you can catch yourself in one, and not know it,
not even realize ive been talking to you
not even realize theyve died and gone to the oneness of heaven
long ago
but its true, and now you're stuck in my web and im going to love you

who am i?
i am the Anomon

why do i experience myself and the universe
because i long for a passion untold, i long for the meteors flight
and the ghost cat's wafer in the willows

because i echo with the feeling of drinking from rivers

because im the only one left, foolish enough to carry on
against the nihilists..


because of sex, i am still alive, damnit, never let them tell you otherwise
never let them effect you, or your chaos, revel in it, and it will grow, it will protect you and all of nature, its the best thing, in the world... mystical ecstasy, a pocket full of bird seed... rebel, rebel against everything, even yourself, only then will you know the truth
and you will laugh because you will see that it is and has alway been at the core a lie.

muahaha!

i am no ordinary root


i'm polymorphic



a kind lie but a lie none the less

only hemp and love and stories, little flickers of feelings from when things were simpler
i sing the universe a lullabye
blind it with muffins and somatic makeshift alcohols
then steal away on a rainbow across the planes with my beloved
collecting mushrooms and friends
until we fall still again at dawn, like crickets



still my heart rings with the wonders of the night and we join hands around the campfire as the sticks have been broken
the onion grass unsmothered, the unintended evil undone, mushrooms shaken and settling to rise again,
i look at the sky and it is there, like its always been
i touch everything and it touches me
i remember the cows..
suddenly we are all eaten in a moment of peace by something large and unforeseen
amen


as we disintegrated we made love, perhaps one last time in the belly of the giant thing, floating around, the acid eating away at our brains all the while, causing us to go insane in our wild and orgasmic humping frenzy, it was disgusting but somehow satisfying, the being was large enough and a healthy enough eater, that the waters were actually not bad smelling or so much different than water, there was even some seaweed growing in there

after we had exhausted ourselves, we rested in one anothers caress on an island of some amazingly well placed organ which was conducive to all life, and made soft sounds.

we were glad the cool thing which saved the world started in maryland, then we simply summoned a portal back out to daylight.



nothing exists, nothing matters
life is the watch of the play of hallucinations
and their delusional logic in tides rising and falling
as it destroys itself
in the love of the ever changing
again and again
breathing




everything is air
life and light flow through it and each other
a strange visionary mystical miracle
rose carrying the torchy candle of beat to ranger and stranger ranger to beat
and beaches where the sun seeps in
holy blessed one
selfless source of all love
sorcerer
shaman of the days, wise one friend of many
our gaze away even we know you everywhere
your likeness in us
every awareness
the sage is a language a tao
the earth is a computer and a child
of the universe we are the cells working together
knowing another and thte universe, spirits work through
yomo, love is deep like the pine roving climbing my back is the trunk above the moon bright and curved resting in quilting stars
silence vibes, rocked by it like a deep groove
grove song
so deep meanings of the universe itself
being ever born into it
like the pinecones and the rings of onion grass
in a starry one, where a watery renaissance
relayed in lilies deep soft wild thicket the deer land
the earth, and fae mounds come a walking that land wrapped around us and everything
we are it
bouncing one little light
paddling through, boat journey
the universe, the constellation
the spirit moving, shaking the creation
for the feeling can come through then, out there, and ripple all the way through
to where the words fall
the jnani
drunken moon
cows flying through the astroglyphosphere
i dont know what it is im rebelling against
i dont know if it is at all
so sometimes just falling you seem pulled through
guided by intuition
or a force a magnetism of good,
bless that force, because wow, has it brought it along unimaginably
the unconscious is the true magic, let it happen on its own
its always happening set so long ago, yet we were there
in one and all, the same

there in the trees, and refracted out, the dutch folk tale spoke to me
it was the tree calling me, out there, all were, us fairies
and all things of a plenty in truth, a rare moment, unto the golden realm
a leap
in golden time
in dandelion
and teaching rhyme among the silent things in time
as life does bounce across the mind
not blind the heart doth blossom sweet
in enigma, sorrow's creek, lay hallowed by leaf stick, rising seed of the spring
so in we rising
everything
is the very season not a heaven, suspended in time
yet compassion in us visits all around, thus is tao, thus is wisdom
thus is the health of all things
friend we go on forever, we are like water the spirits
it rains love its all changing im gone
love its all gone no words can hold but they all run forth
i am the river, the cow and the endless phenonemon
give me rest awaken me from the wheel of doing
how does this come about?

through really loving, love draws us to the center where all action is immediately alleviated, where there is spring and within the moments all the seasons, or the realm of whatever season we like, and within all people, plants and things of the world we resonate and build energetic planes with these vibrations

who knows what love is? endlessly love is a teacher
in whatever forms in a thousand form
in every form it will come endless
is the lesson and more blissful and fruitful at every turn
i have truly found the meaning of life
and existence even in its unreality
there is justice and love does not corrupt this practice
is the fruit of every practice
is the true fruit, which is what we eat, what nourishes us and all things, the most important energy healthiest and most universal and efficient fuel,
saver of lives healer of wounds, bringer of peace and new joys
revealer of mysteries, creator of life, self
we are love, everything is love
that is the true original and eternal nature of being
love sulos, adawapayo is the outburst of love is it a tree or fountain are they planets or strange dancing rivers molecules in a celestial sea
we are just bacteria deep in some ocean
yet the spirits are here just the same
speaking the same truths, the mystic passes through all the realms, and knows them deeply as the tree, reveals, in its growing, and the knowledge of the ancients, so this is why these images appear
and the world as it does, its a mandala, from long ago, so much forgotten and to rise
awareness the devas dakinis dance through it, we are like cores stones but astrally we are many things we can change the shape of our bodies and energy flow and become fluid in definitions seeing simply the vibration and imagination dreaming offering to the gods,
this is all that life is, everything is crazy, the wise say let it be crazy, there are mysterious workings in it all, if the humor does what it will, and it shall, like the rays of the day pour over every hill and everywhere, with the dawn, that daily awakening, in a small circle,
the tao, merely symbolic but still happening
maybe signifying some happening elsewhere
meditating on increasing and increasing smallness
behold the bounty of all things
the magic of the fairies, we share with all
in the cannabis nation, the mushroom nations, tree nations of all kinds, grass and flower nations, hippie nations, stoner nations, anarchist nations, meditation nations, waiting at the train station, i had one leaf and a bottle of air, the river nations and fish nations, came with their fish tunes, we live with all reality in harmony, nature is bestowing us and we nature, such great truth, know a place anywhere cross the horizon points the rake or the branch or whatever it was branching out and then the lights the stars the candles, the crashing trains, all in peace, all in harmony, oh now this is just crazy talk man, for there are only places, and all places are here, i dont know why i write, i just want people to see, and hear this message, the message of wanti, this was my purpose, and so i look through my life, my message runs clear like a river, grows like a tree, what is it? it is something of the soul, so that can't exactly be said in an instant, like the Goddess takes all the seasons to truly comprehend, passing through everything, travelling revelling, the plants gathering and nature magic strong,
like the original wooded ones,
like the great deer
celery love
history mystery
the spirit
goes in every way, when you just lose yourself in something
exercising, its beautiful, its love
its amazing hearing the air move, and breathing, feeling your body move, feeling infinity, on the edge, me and you, the seen and unseen, self and other.
they are one, all these things are one energy again and again he bursts up there with this, yet how true it is, is he not that same energy, in all the ways it comes through, what is this, this yoga
i still surprise myself sometimes, which is good, i dont know anything probably less than most funny how confused i am, on the outside but at the core, i am focused, i love the goddess with the all of me, and these are the transformations, life is so beautiful, everything always changes, every part of everything, goes into this, which is already a piece of it all.
chi
thats all it is there are in truth no forms
getting over forms is the entire meaning of the way
they say they tree of life is everywhere
lately flo and i are close in our talks through life we travel our two spirit adventure band is the stuff of legend yet the Gods are there, they are the ones preventing anything from happening, the garlic mustard says, i ricochet to the highest branch of a nearby tree and fall in centimenters slowly and spiralling gracefully dipping up and down.

i am not myself i am everything thats every been its all spilling through me and all the people just take it in strange ways and it comes again and around and everything comes back in some form its so simple but so true, its good to appreciate this and we see its ourselves cycling through, we know it all already, its that familiar they all ring up like an eternal chorus, sweeping through everything with intention with spirit, the language, shapeless language, deep inside the shamans speak it, this is we, love is a high branch and a low wing to follow, learn to fly, keep dreaming and never give up, i'll always love you, you inspire me i burst with joy, the earth is growing, it means something, heaven life peace growth shakti, is hear amidst with christ, in every seed, growing, wild, within it all ancient as the first day and the blessed are our random wallopings and thinkings, through which God comes flying and the great existence, the Yomo says that all things are manna ever dissolving in the translator of the heart into the sacred lights, the angels read, when it come to earth it joins with a firmness a realness a lovingness, a spirit, earth is a spirit, the manifestation of the mother, Goddess who is the silent one, but much loved and needed, for her nurturing care and compassion bring great peace, and settle much, everywhere the truth, the spirit comes and dwells equally teaching through all the happenings,be just the listener, the one lived through and be wise react never lose the self all medicines come together, all worlds to one plane wanti, wakan tanka and the faery realms of naola, heaven, hell, all one place? all one place, all one being, all one ocean,I was that ocean, the largeness the breathe, the yin and yang, I was sex but even more than that, more unnameable, more pointless, yet somehow more integral from a part of the self we don't talk about, so its alone we go as the spirit of sexuality, i live this life everyday, going forth, bestowing love and vibes, wanti priestess digging it, the magic had found a new peak at this point, and again they sprang up and again harmony set through, cha
for it was the yomo's wisdom and harmony, it was the self finding the self again in the self
it is the moment, climbing a staircase of musical strings
nananananana
you elfwort song, intertwined among the trees we are and jumping through ah the ways of the astral sea, surfing in arlifandel the field of the real, long walks on the beach,
nature spells, working with flowers, calling from nature, calling from nature
jumped in gracefully, grooving leaves are so great, why have branches been cut?
as sexuality grows we see we must respect our bodies and ourselves, and the great thing is the moment is ever new, we can always change our image of ourselves, especially with the blessed cannabis, the yomo explained that cannabis was bestowed upon this planet for the grooviness which had transpired and made the cows and the trees and the ancients so happy, just chilling and basking in one love, the unity of all energies, digging that in themselves and it all, it was two sides of the same spirit, and it needed no heralding or appreciation, it simply lived, these two sides were actually deeply in love and resonant with eachother, making complete all things held together by something we can't understand but all feel intuitively in the things which keep us together, shiva and shakti, yomo and yaveyetta, agni and soma, dana and dagda, jah and sophia, even just by remembering their names we open up a channel and connection to them and the virtue they represent, what does this have to do with living life?
everything because by meditating and seeing all thoroughly as ego entrenched delusions of the psyche and having compassion for their arisal and joy at their true emptiness we can fully without distraction set upon the path of dharma in a selfless manner.
"I" don't believe they understood my humor when I said I had schizophrenia, which we all share
"schizophrenia is a spontaneous ritualistic healing dance of my people"
said the deer, and the cutters left the trees alone after that in the forests and elsewhere
trees were holy, the same as our towns, but they just slip themselves in and become part of the ecosystem
they have a poem for us a message and they speak wait until the plants begin to speak
then the spirits are really there, there is not much that can't be done, the earth is a resonator crystal, it is so infinite, teaching in ways we do not realize, for each of us, giving the space, the room we need, trust the universe, things are getting better all the time,
the parts we dont see of everything is a beautiful realm, unseen, WE MUST MAKE LOVE TO OUR WRITING



words are fickle




distractions, squiggles, qualities, friends, gods; the words