Anybody have any tips for "keeping" confidence?

LegacyUser

Hey so, like so many posters here , I have confidence issues when it comes to meeting girls. I'm in college (22 male) and I'm generally quite positive and outgoing. I've got a good sense of humour and I'm not up tight at all. I get on great with everyone I meet and, from the outside, it seems like I'm quite confident.

On the inside however, its rather choppy. I go through patches of high and low confidence. Depending on how I'm feeling, I'm either great at everything or crap at everything - with no "grey" areas. Right now, I'm feeling pretty confident yet there's always something that pops up to drain this confidence from me - be it exams, assignments, rejection by a girl I like or something else - and it usually takes me some time to regain this self-belief (although I am getting better at holding onto it ).

Anyway, what I'm really posting here is that I find it very difficult to talk with girls I find attractive. And I mean super difficult - I can talk to them but I find myself not being "myself" and talking about really boring things with them. I talk to them differently than I would to someone I don't find that attractive which is kinda weird I think yet I can't seem to stop myself. The problem is, I don't know how to talk to a good looking girl (embarrassing I know, seems like I should have grown out of this at 16 but hey what can ya do?)

I might sound like a clueless frigit here but I've actually been with some stunning girls in the past and what's so frustrating about is that I don't know how I've "pulled" them. Btw, I'm not one of those guys who thinks "any night out where I don't score is a sh*t night" but on the occasions that I do see a girl I'd like to at least try chatting up, I have no idea where to start with them. My mind goes blank - I'm like a deer caught in headlights. In my head they're better than me because I think they're good looking and I seem to automatically assume that "they're going to have no interest in me so why try?".

How can I change this mindset? I'm not asking to turn into some ladykiller-style guy who picks up everyone he lays eyes on but I'd like to be able to "hold my own" so to speak.

LegacyUser

Im a girl, the same age as you, and im telling you most girls that you chat up will more than likely have confidence issues. i have been told alot that i am good looking (sure isnt everyone with drink:) ) but honestly id rather talk to the wall or anybody than a guy because i am so shy, awkward around guys.. this forces me to reject them (in a nice way) because i simply cant talk to them. so dont let it knock you!!! i really wish you didnt let the exterior appearance of a girl throw your confidence, you sound like a sound enough guy. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..what you see in them they might not even see in themselves. If you perceive them to be better than you, then it is your attitude which needs refocusing. Im serious when i say it is what is in the inside that counts...get chatting to a girl and find out whats shes like. she will give off vibes that will make you uncomfortable or comfortable, and then you can be confident self. Best of luck, the dating scene is just a whirlwind that can blow you away one minute, or leave you lost in the middle.

LegacyUser

Hey thanks for the advice, haven't checked this in a few days. I'm trying to change that attitude but it's taking some time to do so (although I can definitely see a change in myself so that's good).

This might sound silly, but does anyone have any conversational tips? Not just for talking to girls but to anyone. I always run out of stuff to say and I "panic" and say whatever is on my mind without even thinking about what it is I'm saying. I've asked so many stupid questions this way and it's rather embarrassing when it happens....