Alcoholism-AA other support groups?

Seedy Arling

ve been drinking for just short of twenty years now. I'm 33 and have come to the conclusion that drink is ruining my life.

I'm not what one would call a stereotypical alcoholic, if there is such a thing, i drink once a week. Its very, very rarely a few pints and it's usually an all night affair.

I get severely depressed after these binges. I dont believe that i can just reduce the amount i drink. The few friends i have are serious drinkers. Lovely people, but heavy drinkers. I think i just have to cut it out totally.

In the last two years i have been through a lot in terms of personal relationships and my own health. As a result of the things i have been through i have been suffering from depression and am on an anti depressant.

My life has fallen apart, or rather i have let it fall apart. I have a good job and own property, but the cycle of drinking at the weekend and then being depressed for days after wards is really fecking things up for me. I am recently single as well, drink attributed to that also, i need to be a better person and its hard to improve myself when i'm going around like a wet blanket all the time.

I know what i want, but i'm not too sure what to do. Directly, or indirectly drink is influencing my life in a negative way. I had a look at the AA website and they had a list of questions that you have to ask your self to see if you are an alcoholic, if you answered one of more, it was indicative you were an alcoholic. I ticked nearly all the boxes.

My father is a reformed alcoholic and my mother is a closet alcoholic. I had a discussion today with my father and he recommended that i go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Galway, with him, or on my own. He discussed how it benefitted him and the relationships that he made through it have helped him deal with the bigger issues in life. I'm unsure about attending meetings or even the AA as an organisation.

Is it a semi cult on its own? What support groups are out there? I need to branch out my life and diversify, i used to play a lot of sport but cannot anymore due to illness, this has contributed to my isolation during the week. I've become a hermit in myself and have isolated myself from my family during the week only to go and get ratarsed every weekend, and the cycle just goes on and on...

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

This will not be a long post, I can only tell you of my indirect experience with alcoholism and AA.

My mother is an alcoholic, she began drinking heavily on a daily basis about 15 years ago. As a person, she changed completely. She became severely depressed, often not getting out of bed for days at a time, not eating, not washing. She became increasingly ill, and eventually descended into a condition where she could not walk unaided. At this point she was 51 years old.

Like most Irish blokes (hugely sweeping generalisation here, I'm aware and apologise) I regard my Mother as a queen in her own right. She always was and is at the absolute core of our family unit, and is loved and respected above most others (my father and my sister would agree I think!) Her addiction and illness had a devestating effect on my family, for a long time we felt broken, dejected, disillusioned, terrified and sick with worry. We tried to bring about change in so many different ways; always based on love and support, reassurance and patience. This wonderful woman whom we all loved with all our hearts was simply falling apart as we looked on helplessly. No matter what approach we tried, nothing worked. The addiction always won out, the pattern of drinking never changed, the downward spiral continued.

Eventually, my mothers' condition worsened considerably to a point where at the end of each day, none of us knew whether we would find her alive or dead the following morning. We felt that drastic action was neccessary in order to save her, we met with some people from a rehabilition clinic in Dublin and she was admitted to their facility as a patient. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to discuss her treatment in detail here, but part of the program involved attending daily AA meetings. She completed the program and came home to us six weeks later, sober for the first time in many many years.

The change in her was almost shocking to see. She was eating well, becoming more active and for the first time in the longest time she reminded me of my mother again. I won't tell you that at this point she was cured of her illness and addiction, it's simply not true. She relapsed twice and spent a further 2 weeks as a patient in a rehabilitation clinic. This second spell of hospitalisation, and the subsequent weeks marked the real turning point for her. She was fortunate enough to meet some wonderful people, who offered nothing but help, encouragement and sound advice. She attended AA meetings daily and sometimes twice daily. I cannot describe these meetings in detail, by their nature they are private and I would not wish to intrude on them. All I can say is that I believe (as does my family) that she found the strength she needed to carry on from the support of other like-minded individuals.

She has been sober now for almost six years, and still attends AA meetings all over Leinster never less than three or four times a week. She has trained and qualifed as a addiction counsellor and is an active Samaritans volunteer. She is my mother again. She is strong, independant, intelligent and unbelievably kind. She is hugely respected within the community for her achievements and even more hugely (grammar police please!) respected and loved by her family.

I began this post with the idea of writing one or two lines about AA. I've written a lot more than that now but will finish with one simple statement:

If you are concerned about your drinking, or have concerns about a family members'addiction to alcohol please please consider attending an AA meeting. This association of anonymous members has helped to change my mothers' and my entire familys' life immeasurably. I honestly do not know where we would all be today without AA.

- A very appreciative and grateful son.

iguana

Are you based in Galway? Maybe take a look through the HSE services in your area. They can provide one to one counselling as well as support group sessions which are run by an addiction counsellor. As you seem to have reservations about AA you might prefer to start with something counsellor based, especially something with trained health professionals who have experience of working with people on anti-depressants.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/Find_a_Service/LHO/Galway/Social_Inclusion_/

Morag

It's not a cult, there is a slight spiritual aspect to it.
But mostly it is people sharing where they are with drinking, where they were and how the found the strenght and understanding to figure out why they are drinking the effect it has on them and ways to deal with it.

Fentdog84

Just go for it OP. What have you got to lose, being miserable all the time and increasing health problems? There is nothing to be ashamed of or scared about. Having your dad there willing to support you aswell is a huge plus..Good luck

Seedy Arling

Sharrow wrote: »

It's not a cult, there is a slight spiritual aspect to it.
But mostly it is people sharing where they are with drinking, where they were and how the found the strenght and understanding to figure out why they are drinking the effect it has on them and ways to deal with it.

I quizzed my Dad on that, he said as long as you believe in some higher power thats all that matters. He's big into the church and all that, but he's not a nut by any means.

Actually, my dad said that when you talk there, you figure out why you are doing it and the effect it has on you. I have some reservations about it being full of auld lads like my father though.

Fentdog84 wrote: »

Just go for it OP. What have you got to lose, being miserable all the time and increasing health problems? There is nothing to be ashamed of or scared about. Having your dad there willing to support you aswell is a huge plus..Good luck

I have to say, he really came up trumps for me today. My mother doesnt understand, thinks that if you dont talk about stuff it'll just go away. I think my father used AA to deal with his demons down through the years. He hasnt been in a few years, but he goes back on occasion when he needs to talk.

He sat me down and told me how, the truest love you'll ever find, is for yourself.

Thanks for the support guys, i really appreciate it. I've realised you dont have to be drinking like a wino for drinking to ruin your life.