Cant stand my housemate

greenprincess

As the title sugests I cant stand my housemate. Worse still I work with him to!!! He is rude, lazy, he has no motivation or initatitive. I cant stand him he makes my blood boil. I cant really leave, I am in a 6 week contract. The other day he actually told me to **** off.:eek: I live with two other people and have minor disagreements but that is bound to happen, living, working, eating, doing everything together!

I have never been in a situation before where I dislike someone so much, and so immediatly. Any ideas how to deal with it?
Thanks

Aishae

do your other flatmates find this guy a problem too? if they do maybe if you all spoke to him as a group about his behaviour itd help.

however if they dont have the same problem theres not much you can do but try avoid the guy maybe

mood

Move out if it is such a problem.

inexperienced

im in the same situation. i could not stop but asked him to fxxk off one day when he tried to tell me he is a big important person and i am nothing.

because of these and that, i cant move out now. but will in 3 months time.

so, now, i keep the contact in minimal. e.g. if he is in the kitchen cooking, i would wait until he finishes. every time he sees me, he would bang the door!but i ignore all these childish behaviours. bascially, i see him as nothing, even he walks in front of me, i would be like i see nothing.

other housemates do not get on well with him too, but i am the one who point out his annoying habits (e.g. never washes dishes until he wants to use them again, so we buy our own pots and pans now after i failed to ask him to do the washup) so he HATES me. i could care less. just feeling a bit insecure when just myself and him in the house.

all the best. in the positive way, i have loads of jokes to tell my friends about this guy.

but i can understand how annoying it can be. hope you can move out soon.

Aishae

i was thinking about a friend who had a problem with a housemate. the girl would leave dishes everywhere, never hoovered, would be very inappropriate if you had friends in the house and she had terrible terrible hygiene (in the bathroom in particular) - my friend was always cleaning up after her cos she's a real monica from Friends type of clean freak.
she couldnt afford to move out for a year (had to save)
so she'd avoid the girl, only had a friend over for coffee when she knew the girl would be out.
although she ended up spending a lot of time in her room when that girl was at home cos she'd bother anyone who was around (incessantly)
and she kept cleaning the bathroom cos that was just disgusting - but stopped cleaning up your one's dishes and cups (which she left everywhere) and blanked the girl if she was around her looking for attention.

her behaviour never improved - although she'd clean a plate if she had no clean ones!
and she did start using other people's food.

but all in all avoiding her big time and not picking up after her made my friends life easier till she moved out.

so id recommend the same - if talking to the guy gets you nowhere

Fentdog84

Look we've all had the housemate from hell. You are doing the right thing, ignoring him and being the bigger person. However if he is being abusive/threatening towards you, I would suggest you and your housemates complain to the landlord.

thecookingapple

Firstly we all have or will live with people we dont get on with, always best be civil until a time when you can move out.

one thing struck me about your problem when you say he has ''no motivation or initatitive'' but what exactly has this got to do with you? fair game if he will not pull his weight or is acting inappropiate, but your post does come across as kinda controlling.

maybe you could just clarify what those traits have to do with you so we could get a better understanding of the real problem.

greenprincess

thecookingapple wrote: »

Firstly we all have or will live with people we dont get on with, always best be civil until a time when you can move out.

one thing struck me about your problem when you say he has ''no motivation or initatitive'' but what exactly has this got to do with you? fair game if he will not pull his weight or is acting inappropiate, but your post does come across as kinda controlling.

maybe you could just clarify what those traits have to do with you so we could get a better understanding of the real problem.

Forgot to mention that I work with him to. Our work arrangement was that we would all eat at a pub together to, but I'm cooking for myself now cause he eats like an animal!

I really try to be civil to him. But he isnt to me. He knows he really annoyed me the other day when he said that to me, I didnt say a single word to him. But I have been trying to be nicer, I said I was doing laundry for me and the other two boys if he wanted to put anything in and he just ignored me! So I dont care.

I have a feeling he is going to be fired because he is so lazy. Like it is a basic job and he doesnt have a clue! The other two guys are sick of him to we are always having to pick up the slack for him

banie01

greenprincess wrote: »

Forgot to mention that I work with him to. Our work arrangement was that we would all eat at a pub together to, but I'm cooking for myself now cause he eats like an animal!

I really try to be civil to him. But he isnt to me. He knows he really annoyed me the other day when he said that to me, I didnt say a single word to him. But I have been trying to be nicer, I said I was doing laundry for me and the other two boys if he wanted to put anything in and he just ignored me! So I dont care.

I have a feeling he is going to be fired because he is so lazy. Like it is a basic job and he doesnt have a clue! The other two guys are sick of him to we are always having to pick up the slack for him

Its always hard to live and to work with someone!
Those annoying habits they have at home follow you to work and you get no break from it so they frustration just builds and builds!
I remember I worked with my wife for 2 days and it nearly ended us!!!! :P
And that was when we had been together for 6 years at that stage!

Only advice I can offer is to move if you can, but knuckle down and bear it if you can't move and as you said if he gets the boot from the job you'll have that much less time in his company.

greenprincess

banie01 wrote: »

Its always hard to live and to work with someone!
Those annoying habits they have at home follow you to work and you get no break from it so they frustration just builds and builds!
I remember I worked with my wife for 2 days and it nearly ended us!!!! :P
And that was when we had been together for 6 years at that stage!

Only advice I can offer is to move if you can, but knuckle down and bear it if you can't move and as you said if he gets the boot from the job you'll have that much less time in his company.

Ya like I have had very very minor disagreements with the other two lads. But its all forgotten about a few mins later. This guy just really seems to have nothing between his ears. Like earlier he hadnt done the easiest job, I asked him why he hadnt done it and he said no one had told him to!! Like we do have a foreman but we dont get told what to do every minute of every day! Its just annoying because it means we have to pick up the slack for him, or be constantly checking up on him to make sure he has done his work. On the phone to his friend the other day he said 'its great I chill all day while the others do all the work'. I just cant stand him!!!

banie01

greenprincess wrote: »

! Its just annoying because it means we have to pick up the slack for him, or be constantly checking up on him to make sure he has done his work. On the phone to his friend the other day he said 'its great I chill all day while the others do all the work'. I just cant stand him!!!

Look I'm all for picking up the slack for someone when they are a friend, or a usually good contributor to the team when they are having a rough patch....
But picking up the slack for someone who never pulls there weight is just stupid!
But why do it for someone you can't stand? It just makes one bitter in the long run
You might aswell slap a saddle on your back and say ride me!(as in like I'll do the donkey work....Not ride me :P )

Stop covering his ass(You and the other two)
Be sure that ye can account for what work ye did yerselves and if there is a task that isn't finished because he slacked off be certain that its noted.
If there is a supervisor there, Get him to supervise!!!
If he's not a productive member of the team it will be shown up quick enough.

If you keep picking up his slack, you could end up very bitter and resentful towards the guy....
Like he should be nicer to you! He should be a better housemate....Because after all I did for him he 'owes' me!!!
When what he really does is take advantage of the fact that he can coast through the day on the back of others work!

JimmyCrackCorn

I have more Housmates from hell stories than most.

Your Options are:

1. Move
2. Two make a bigger issue of it and have it out
3. Ignore they exist and continue your life as if they don't exist

Generally though being told to **** off means you cant just take that.

greenprincess

He got fired I told the supervisor what he said to be and he said he had been watching him anyway. He gave them a warning and he didnt change so he's been fired peace has returned to the house

Napper Hawkins

Out of curiosity, what was his job?

greenprincess

I'm doing my rural work in Australia so really really simple farm work!!!